what should i do to stop the fighting with my 10 and 7 year old girls?

Question

my 10 and 7 year old daughters fight, hit and say mean things to eachother constantly. All i hear is tattleing. they are both the same size. Its not 1 bullying the other cuz shes bigger. I feel like a referee. i am so tired of it. What shoul i do?

Answer 1

No offense but jus get used to it. They will eventually get over it. Me and my sister did that when we were younger it was jus a phase tho.

Answer 2

Just remember YOU'RE THE ADULT and set the rules. Why and how an adult would argue with a child is beyond me. If nothing else works use behavior modification. example, if you do this action, then i'll make you sit in the corner. If you tattle or hit, you don't watch television for this amount of time, etc. The choices should be made according to the child. What can you take away that would impact them to behave better to get their "fun" times and experiences back? Good luck.

Answer 3

Set them both together and create a list of house rules along with the consequences for breaking those rules.

My two sisters are 6 & 10, similar ages to yours. Their list consists of no name calling, no put-downs, no hitting, and no stealing other's stuff. And their punishments include doing one another chores and no TV. By them creating their own house rules, they are more likely to follow it.

As for tattling, in the past for the kids I set up a the 'think box'. If its not an emergency, they thow their tattle tale into the think box and at the end of each night we read about it and discuss it.

Answer 4

It's actually pretty natural for them to fuss. It's called pecking order. Ignore the name calling and nasty talk and intervene ONLY when there is actual hitting. Then move them to completely different areas of the house.

Have family meetings every Friday or Saturday where the girls will be expected to say 5 really nice things about each other.

The girls have got to learn to get along and work out their problems without you stepping in.

Answer 5

I have 3 sons, 11, 8 and 3...and yup.

You have to not pick sides, there is no 'fair' stop teaching anything of such nonsence. Life is no 'fair' get used to it.
When they fight I just send them to their respective rooms, cause I don't wanna hear it. Start fighting again and it's bed all day. I haven't had to do that yet. They are usually pretty busy cleaning the bathroom or the living room or their room or the dishes. keep those little hands busy with chores! No time or energy to fight.

Answer 6

I feel for you I go throught hat daily I have 3 daughters and my 10 and 6 yr old fight continuslly I found that if we seperate them for a hour or so and not make them play together. When they do play together if they start fighting its time out period no negotiaon or better yet chores work wonders and I make 10 yr old clean something up of 6 yr old and vice versa works for me any way.

Answer 7

I have boys that are the same age difference and it is the worst!They also fight constantly. I saw an episode of Supernanyy that said to let them work out their own arguments and don't be the referee for them. Mine drive me crazy too and if I don't know who started the fight, I can't help them...they have to sort it out together.

Answer 8

I have two boys 9 and 10 and two girls 7 and 15. And they dare not fight each other. Why? Because they live in my house and I"m the boss. If they have a problem they cannot work out them selves without hitting they need to come to me to help them work it out. Why? Because I'm their mother and that's my job. I'm not saying it was always like that because they all used to fight like cats and dogs. But I remember what my Granny always told me. God created my behind for a reason. Disapline. And she corrected me because she loved me and didn't want me to be an out of control child. And I use that philosophy to this day. I told them that our house was not a republic but a dictatorship. And I was the boss. That if they couldn't follow my rules then they could get out. Simple as that. And that means no fighting each other. My boys came home one day with bloody noses and conduct reports. Because they were fighting with two other boys. I asked what they were thinking. They told me that the other boys were hitting their baby sister. I was in a way proud that they understood the lesson that I taught them. That they don't hit thier sisters and they better not let anyone else hit them either. My 15 yr old threatend me with 911. I told her I would dial the number for her. And that by the time they got there they would have a reason to arrest me as I was not going to jail for no reason. YOU are the parent. YOU have to be in control. YOU have to be the strong one. and YOU have to love them enough to show them that fighting each other is wrong. They need to love each other and stick together through thick and thin. But it is going to take CONSISTANCY IN DICIPLINE.

Answer 9

I think the best thing to do for this is to take something from them they like such as TV or video games or some item they love. Every time they start to argue or fight take it for the day or for so many hours. Put up a chart and keep track of what is going on.

Answer 10

When my children fight, I close them in a room together and they are not allowed to come out until they have worked out their situation. And, yes, there is sometimes hitting and mean words but I've removed myself from the situation. They have to learn to deal with people in the real world so this is the best start to teaching them to work things out and communicate. p.s. Sometimes they are in that room for a very LONG time.

Answer 11

tell them that they can either solve the problem between themselves or they can go to their room until they are ready to get along with each other. or you can send them to a room in the house and tell them that they have to stay there until they have made up. dont get involved, just let them solve it on their own. if you are in the car and they are arguing, pull over and say "i will be glad to continue on once you guys stop arguing" and sit there until its quiet, it wont take long, it will surprise them that you actually pulled over and take their mind off of fighting. (at least for a little while) i learned these techniques from a love and logic parenting class.