What's your favorite bit from stand up?

Question

Mine is from Jerry Sienfield's "I'm telling you for the last time". It's about being on an airplane:
"Then the stewardess does her little song and dance. Shows you how to use a seat belt in case you haven't been in a car since 1976. Oh, you pull up on the buckle. Ohhhh. I was trying to break the metal appart. I thought that's how it worked. I was going to attempt to tear the fabric. If I could just get it started!.... Then the pilot gets on the mic and gives you his speil. 'I'm gonna take her up to 30,000 feet, then I'm gonna makes a left by Seattle.' And we're all back there thinking fine, yea, just get me to where it says on the ticket. Just do that. I don't care what you're doing. Do I bother him with what I'm doing? Knocking on the cockpit door 'I'm having the peanuts now!' I'm not going to eat them all cuz its such a big bag!"
I love that bit! Write me your fav bit word for word so I can read it and laugh!

Answer 1

I love Eddie Murphy's "Delirious" when he talks about his father calling his sister-in-law a bigfoot...and her children are bigfoots too...they say "goonie-goo-goo" and the dad is like "what the f-ck does goonie-goo-goo mean? Gus, your wife says she's a puerto rican, but she's not...wanna what she is, Gus? You married a bigfoot" LOLOLOL! It's not funny when I say it, but trust me, and rent it! You'll laugh your a$s off! : )

Answer 2

Sam Kinison's bit on the crucifixtion. And Jesus is up there looking down at his disciples saying, "Hey someone get a pliers and a ladder get me down form here. Read THE BOOK."

Answer 3

Dane cook bit on catching a tire in the FACE.or the one where he talk about the car accident.

Answer 4

Haven't read it! And by the way, was very difficult to understand!

Answer 5

eddie izzard - twang 'em into a tree

Answer 6

your face is funny!!!!!