My older brother was supoust to take care of me and instead took advantage of me for about 4 long years and also he started to hit me violently I thought he just wanted me dead ,after asking him to stop touching me.later I become rebelious because I was to afraid to talk and ask for help regarding it. I still have nightmares about the phisical abuse he make me go through.I rersent him so much.doh we are now adults and dont talk about it at all,and show respect for one another ,I still can help it to remember that bad things he did to me ,and resent him for many things.I thought I have forgiven him,but maybe I have not.help!it still hurts to think about it.because of him,I have a hard time trusting everybody specially male.I always watching out for and protecting my nieces from posible molesters ,and I also care for other little kids.Sometimes I thinnk I can read little childrens faces.I all I see is pain.I then assume they most be getting sexualy abuse by someone or somethig who knows
2006-06-24 16:01:14 · 15 answers · asked by Canela 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You may need to go to therapy and then forgive your brother. He can't change what he did in the past but he needs to apologize to you.
2006-06-24 16:05:27 · answer #1 · answered by existingtobe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to deal with this sort of problem is confronting it head-on, by talking to your brother about it. It sounds like he has matured since the days when he molested you, or at least come to realize that what he did was wrong. Even if things are officially peaceful between the two of you, you should tell him that you deserve an apology for what he did because of how much emotional pain it inflicted. Chances are VERY good that an apology will help him almost as much as it does you, and it will probably be a load off both of your minds.
If he refuses to apologize and shows no remorse, however, I would have nothing to do with him. If he isn't sorry for what he did back then, he wouldn't be afraid or ashamed to do it again. Regardless of whether he apologizes or not, be very careful not to leave your nieces (assuming that they aren't his daughters) or other little kids alone with him. Sex offenders, even remorseful ones, have the highest repeat rates of any criminals.
Anyway, my bottom line is that while you should always be cautious, you should also be ready to forgive. I think it is VERY big of you to forgive somebody who harmed you in that way. May God bless you as you sort everything out.
2006-06-24 23:42:08 · answer #2 · answered by Baron Hausenpheffer 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that you will ever be able too. though i was never abused. My mother is a lesbian and also a compulsive liar. And because she is a lesbian when i was younger people called me gay and stuff because my mom was. This has made me hate gay people even though i know it wasn't all of them. and as for my mom she still refuses to give me closure on the fact of what I have been through is because of the way she is. You need to just accept that you may never forgive him and the stuff in the past may never stop hurting. there are many other reasons why I don't like gay people but majority are from the experiences I have faced because of her. She will never accept that so I have to. You know what I mean?
2006-06-24 23:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by Bunk 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like how you help others and how you are doing amazing things to help make the world a better place. Good for you! I do not know what those kids would do without you! Just forgive and forget, maybe he had some anger or Anxiety issues.
2006-06-25 17:14:30 · answer #4 · answered by Golden Ivy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The same thing probably happened to him, and that's where he learned it from. You should probably go talk to a professional, and maybe after a while you could ask your brother to join you so that you're in a safe environment and you can discuss it, get it off your chest and move forward with your life.
2006-06-24 23:05:54 · answer #5 · answered by Fivens 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm not in that position and i don't know anyone that is but if you truly do want to forgive your brother all i can tell you is it's going to take a long time. i dont think that it's ever going to go completely away because what he did is tremendous. just take baby step and make sure this is something you want to do and not something you think you have to.
oh yeah, and give him a swift kick in the nuts for me ;~)
good luck
2006-06-24 23:08:57 · answer #6 · answered by inFAMOUS 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely see a therapist if you can. That sounds like a serious problem that a professional would be able to help you deal with.
2006-06-24 23:05:31 · answer #7 · answered by sweetie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seek some counseling for yourself. Maybe you can learn to help others in the same situation. Maybe one day get your bother to seek it as well.
Good Luck!
2006-06-24 23:07:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that, but you probably need to tell that to a therapist rather than yahoo answers. I don't know if there's anything for us to help you with.
If it were me, I would never forgive him. But that's just me. You're under no obligation to forgive him.
2006-06-24 23:05:29 · answer #9 · answered by The B Man 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you're unable to forgive..... and this is understandable, the reason could be that you're not accepting this
peoplel have anger by not accepting negativity
it is done, it is past, if you dwell on the past or the future there is going to be suffering, pain.... this applies to anyone
2006-06-24 23:06:14 · answer #10 · answered by unseen_force_22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋