My parents always make bad comments about my parenting of my 5 mth old because i am 17.What do i do?

Question

I think they want my baby to be theirs and its really crazy!! They tell me how to lay her and my dad always wants my mom to change her and feed her and give her a bath. When she cries he calls her instead of me! They tell me a baby can't raise a baby but they should have told me that before i had her and if i would have known they were sgoing to act like this then i would have given her up for adoption! they say i don't know how to raise her and they raised me so they know everything!!! I say there are alot of people who don't know how to raise a baby, young or old, but they still do it!!! please help me!!!

Answer 1

all you have to say is at less i'm doing my best to give my baby all i can mom and dad.

Answer 2

Well sweet little one, let me tell you that when I was reading your question it was abundantly clear you are not in love with this child as you should be, if you are mature enough to care for her.
I know this because , you are throwing a tantrum, plain and simple. Reason I know is the I would have given her up for adoption jab you put into the middle of your complaint.

This is not the statement of a mature person who is a mother of a child and can care for it like an adult can. But on the other hand your parents are certainly not doing such a great parenting job with you are they.You are 17 years old and already have a child of your own. I hear nothing about the father of the child, only you and your parents. This means you were 16 or just turned 17 when you got pregnant. I think maybe you should look at what you all are doing here.

This child is my main concern here. You cannot continue to do this kind of parenting for a child to grow up secure and unspoiled.
The mother if she is alone must be the final say in the raising and care of the child, unless she is unfit. If this is the case the ones who want to raise the child and have the final say must gain custody of the child. If you are serious about wanting to get the parents out of the picture, I suggest you contact a social worker and find out how to get into a shelter for unwed mothers and small children. A place you can raise your child in the manner you see as approriate.

This means you will no longer have your back up from your parents when you need help on how to care for her, you will truly be responsible for the welfare of your child. Can you handle that, truly handle it. No more money, food, entertaiment ,freesitter,etc.
Just you and your baby living alone with only the two of you for company.
This is a big step, are you ready for it, or do you think your baby would still be better off if you put her up for adoption. Or do you think your mom and dad should still be able to help you out and raise her. Do you love your baby more than you do your self and your freedom.

Lot of stuff to think about and then decide if your baby is in such a bad place and you too. Maybe you can put up with a little criticism from the folks for another year until you are 18 and can move you and your child out of their house and get a job and place for you and your child. This is a big step also, can you make enough money to pay to live for you and your baby? This is rent , food ,clothing, daycar, doctor bills, toys, and no entertainment or friends are going to get very close to someone who has a baby and can't do anything fun.

Think about it really hard and I think you will decide to just be quiet and appreciate all your parents are doing for you and your baby, and maybe if the parents see this they will decide what they are doing is not good for either of the girls they adore.

Answer 3

Okay here is the deal. Did your parents teach you how to be a good person? Did they love you beyond the moon and the stars? The reason that I am asking these types of questions is because if they raised you with love and affection then you will be able to give that child that love and affection back. I also suggest taking parenting classes. And please don't take this the wrong way but your parents are trying to help you so that you can learn even more about what it means to be a well rounded parent. I wish to God that my mother would have offered to feed and bath my 16 year old son who by the way I finally after a year of struggling on my own was adopted. I think that you should take their suggestions and listen to their words because I truly have to believe that they are only trying to help. Are you still living with them? Are they watching your child while you go to school during the day and working at night? Do they wake up when the baby cries in the middle of the night? Let me tell ya kiddo my mom was to busy boozing it up with a bunch of bikers to even show me how to bath my son. I guess what I am saying is this, "consider yourself lucky and count your blessings because there are a lot of young mom's out there that are doing it ALL 100% on their own"
Jodi O

Answer 4

Try not to get defensive. Parents can do that no matter HOW old the mother of their grandchild is! Trust me, I was 29 when I had my first and still feel like my parents & in-laws were critical of how I raise my daughter! Just be grateful that you have loving and supportive parents who are there for you to help you raise your daughter. And for heaven's sake, LET your mom change the diapers as much as she will!!! ha ha.
Try to use humor. I am sure you are tired and are going through a lot. I can't imagine. Keep going, girl, and don't give up.
It worried me a little that you talk about how you would have given her up for adoption had you known--if you are thinking that, it certainly isn't too late and there are SO many people looking to adopt. BUT if you want to keep and raise your child, go for it. NO ONE is a perfect parent. Good luck and God bless you!

Answer 5

Not to sound mean, but: why? would you blame your parents for not telling you before you had her, (baby can't raise a baby). They were not the ones who got pregnant. By the way you talk... you are very inmature to have a child. Although~YOU need to step up to them and talk... Tell them how you feel, and that you would like to be a good mommy to your baby, tell them that you feel really bad the way they treat you and that you would be open for any suggestions that they may have on taking care of her. YOU are the mommy! If you are serious about the adoption, you could still do it... make it an open adoption so that you can see and visit her, she will know who you are. DO NOT do it out of spite to hurt your parents, you will only hurt the baby.

Answer 6

I'm really sorry about this. It sounds to me like you want very much to be a good mother and learn the parenting process. That said, I can kind of see where your mom and dad are coming from as well. Are they supporting you both right now? Technically, you're only seventeen and still under their authority for another year or so. I'm not sure if this extends to your baby, probably not, but I guess they're looking at it that way. However, legally emancipated or not, she is YOUR baby. Mom and dad are trying to be helpful because I am sure it's not easy on them having a daughter who got pregnant so early. It's probably very hard for them to accept that their baby has a baby now! I would suggest sitting down with them and discussing how you're feeling at length. Let them know that you love your daughter as they love you and want the opportunity to care for her. Make sure you express your willingness to learn from them as the days and months go on. I think it's vital to express how much you appreciate their support emotionally and financially. Raising this child will take all three of you until you're ready to move out and competently do this all on your own.

Answer 7

I understand completely and here's why - my daughter was also a teen age mother - and it is very traumatic on parents when they don't think they are through raising their child and then their child becomes a mother! Sweets - try this - work with your folks, ask their advise before they have a chance to give it and if they give it when you don't feel you need it say "Thanks" - and be thankful you have parents that love you enough to be there to help you - many parents wouldn't - your folks just want to know that they are still Mom and Dad to you and that they are still needed - try to understand that even tho you've gone thru alot - so have they - Mom and Dads want their kids to have high school graduation, prom, home coming and college - then marriage and grandkids - and when it happens sooner than that and not in that order all sorts of feelings go through their hearts and minds - so be kind to yourself and them and to your baby as well - sounds like you have some folks who love you and so does that little one! Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 8

I am 33 and have had 2 kids already and I still get that from the parents. Just take it with a grain of salt and let them have their moments with the baby. As long as nobody is hurting the baby, you are all good. Afterall, they raised you and I'm hoping you turned out fine. I had my first when I was your age and I went through the same thing. Me and my son were like brother and sister more than mother and son, but we get along better now.

Answer 9

Just let your parents do what they want. Just make sure that you tell your baby every day that YOU are her/his mother. Refer to your parents in front of the child as "grandma and grandpa". You should be greatful that your parents are helping you raise your child. Tell them you appreciate all their help but you would rather them SHOW YOU how to do it. Not them do it for you. Also tell them the importance of your baby knowing his/her true parent (you). Saying things nicely is always the best way to get what you want. You need to thank and give your parents complements for what they do and then add side notes of how you want to be taught how to be a good parent and how you should be the one to do it.

Answer 10

You'll be doing that little baby a world of good giving her up for adoption. You'll give her and you a future without all that judgemental behaviour of your parents. Do you really think they did such a great job raising you? I mean your 17 and got pregnant! So--hello!, they aren't the one's to be criticizing you. Then when you give your baby a future, and keep your mom and dad from STEALING this baby, move out and show them you can do it on your own, and don't need them to wipe your nose anymore.

Answer 11

Wow, you are in a tough situation. It is your baby, sit down and talk with them about how you feel. tell them you want to be the Mom and they can be the grandparents. You do need help because everyone does. but that baby needs to learn how to trust you and build a bond with you. See about taking a parenting class, and show your parents that you are responsible enough to be a mother. Your right their are alot of people older than you who shouldn't have even had kids. But let them know how you feel. See about taking classes, I took them and you learn alot. Read alot of parenting books and show them you are trying. You sound like a great Mom, Good Luck.