We have been playing hide and seek all day, and I think he has me beat. It's not really fair, he can teleport, and become invisible, but he promised not to use his powers. I will tell you all the places he has hidden so far, behind the couch, in the bathtub with the shower curtain drawn, in the laundry closet, and under my bed. It's only a two bedroom house, where could he be?
2006-06-24 15:00:06 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
He's probably in the last place you'll look.
I remember finding Jesus not long ago. I was released from the hospital after surviving acute acid reflex. I remember questioning my existence and my purpose her on Earth. I got home only to find my wife panting and smoking a cigarette lying on our wedding bed in a scantily clad nightie. I suspected she had been cheating on me and demanded she tell me who. She insisted that it was no one I knew. I felt as if I had walked in on something and perhaps the bastard was still there hiding. At first I looked under the bed...nothing. Then behind the curtains and in the hall. Again nothing. Then I just knew he was hiding in the closet. I swung open the door and there before my eyes, I found Jesus. The bastard.
Stunned and in a fit of anger I began to pummel the son of our lord about the nose and throat. Jesus, now bloody and crying, ran screaming from my house.
I have tried to "turn the other cheek" since Jesus convened my wife, however I feel my marriage has been tainted with Christ love.
To make things, worse, I can't help but compare myself to Him. The image of her eating of his body . . . . I just can't compete with His divine stamina. I can only bring her to orgasm once, but I'm sure that she enjoyed a second coming of Christ. I'm not surprised that, with her sexy legs and full figure she was able to make Christ 'rise,' if you catch my drift. I guess this is just my cross to bear.
I feel kind of stupid that I didn't see this coming. The evidence was there for months. I remember several times my wife crying out his name during sex. "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!"
-signed Cuckold by Christ
2006-06-24 15:31:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you have to get close to both God and Jesus like the bible says in John 17:3 Read it. I think thats the biblical text! And he is not hiding from you like the bathtub, couch,laundry, nowhere but in the bible.
2006-06-24 15:28:40 · answer #2 · answered by ღimd14uღ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try looking in the freezer. That's where I've found him before. Although last time we played, he was laying IN my bed, under the covers. He thought the pile of pillows he had on to side closest to the door would fool me. HA! I say to Jesus: "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —President George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
2006-06-24 15:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by jada_riab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last time I seen Him was on the South Side of Chicago. He was playing Bass in a Jazz Bar there.
2006-06-24 15:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by sonny_too_much 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there, that's a good question.....let's start by revealing his true name (Yashua)as his family accounts him to be until the romans made mockery of him by title of yae zeus(their god Zeus) meaning praise zeus!!as they spat, laughed, and gave lashes and peircings on a crucifix (symbol of eternal death to the soul)as they wished he parish along with all criminals. you see to find christ (the chosen massiah)you wont see miricals and foolish images,you will see him through the truth, which he has said was and still is his only reason and purpose. (john 18 vrs37) If any where on earth their is the truth you are headed right regardless of what religus leaders impose...
2006-06-24 15:40:22 · answer #5 · answered by Enki Tah Juhiti 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If You Wanna Find Jesus Read The Bible..
2006-06-24 18:06:04 · answer #6 · answered by ❀Mother Of 2❀ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus never hides from people. Just look inside your heart. You'll find Him there.
2006-06-24 15:03:32 · answer #7 · answered by *AstrosChick* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is right beside you. Only He is waiting for you to stop what you are doing and be serious. He loves you, you know. Don't poke fun at Him because He is my friend and I don't like to hear you talk about Him like that.
2006-06-24 15:05:24 · answer #8 · answered by bettyboop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus is omnipresent and he can be all places at all times. I just hope you have a personal relationship with Jesus, and if so he resides in your heart.
2006-06-24 15:04:19 · answer #9 · answered by Richard C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried looking for Jesus in the New Testament? I strongly suggest it. You will find Him there.
2006-06-24 15:04:48 · answer #10 · answered by J-Artist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋