so ashamed??

Question

ok complicated story. When i was 15 i went on holiday, my older friend got me drunk in the hotel, left me with a man about 30yrs i got molested.i didnt understand it at the time.Later i developed panic attacks at high school to the extent that i left, i then got these panic attacks in any crowds and work. I then got an obsessional crush on my boss and imagined how better my life would be with him, my panic attacks got worse till i started making excuses not to go to work. I told my boss i liked him and he gave me a weird look, i now feel i cant return, i feel so ashamed about my panic attacks, my crush and i found out that my friend knew what happened in the hotel, i feel really betrayed.Should i return to work even thou i now shake nervously, can i go crazy? i feel like am not real, i cant eat or sleep right and i just got kicked out my house for not working I worry obsessivly about whether or not my boss and work think that im crazy, theyve seen my worst panic attack.Cant get over it

Answer 1

first see someone honey...if you don't you will be lost...not a good ideal...go to work and when you see your boss...tell him what you said the other day you were thinking foolishly. that after you said it he may have taken it the wrong way. let him know that with all that was going on with you in you personal life ( don't have to tell him what happened) at the moment he was a friend that listened and you respected that. so you told him that you liked him but didn't mention with Platonic way. as far as panic attacks... you must at that time stop....breath...and remind yourself "there is no reason you should be afraid, plus... you better for the sake of you dignity turn that guy in from the hotel... that is a big reason you are having these things happen to you. something traumatic happened to you and you don't trust people around you/. you have a fear that people know what happened and every time they look at you you want to run...stop running baby girl.....take a stand and pick your head up... it's just fear in you....and in this life you should never be afraid... you run your life....don't let it run you... good luck Sweet...

Answer 2

I have had panic attacks and been in situations where i thought i would never live through. The good thing is that not everyone is thinking about you or your actions all the time.. even if they saw your panic attack , they aren't going to associate it with you every time they see you. they have alot of otther memories of you i'm sure before they saw you have panic attacks.. besides that, it sounds like you have alot of anxiety. I really suggest you go to a doctor, and counseling. they can probably give you some anti-anxiety medication.. because anxiety is a very bad feeling. Talk to a counselor about your feelings.. you will get them figured out and get over and on with your life!

Answer 3

Ouch a lot of stuff to deal with first off you need to find a place you feel safe in so you can start looking for a Physiologist you need one to help you deal with all this systematically in an environment were you feel comfortable. The work related issue is another thing see if you could get sick leave as much as possible there are medications for your panic attacks & anxiety have fath there is light at the end of the tunnel. :o)

Answer 4

look hun its ok you have this kind of behaviour and you shouldnt be ashamed... i think its a big step that you are telling us this because we can hell you too that why we ar4e here. my mother has panic attacks and the is on therapy and medication both these things have helped her a lot to heal and shes a loooooot better now i sugest you go to therapy and ask the psichologyst for help and ideas to make you feel better maybe you could get a less stressing job while you are on treatment that would really help :) i hope you feel better with the ideas we have all given you and you can email me if you want some more help

good luck

Answer 5

You're not crazy. You've been traumatized and you need professional help. If you can't afford it, check with your local health department -- there are usually options. Just stay calm -- it's not as bad a situation as you think. Go to work -- ask your boss if you can talk with him. Explain as much of the situation as you are comfortable with, tell him you are looking for help now, and ask him to forgive you for any inappropriate behavior. If you take some kind of positive action like this, it will help you actually feel better. Don't deny that you have problems to yourself or anyone else. (I'm not saying you should dump everything on the people at work -- just let them know you are aware you have some problems and are taking steps to deal with them.)

Hang in there!

Answer 6

You need to see a psychiatrist and a therapist. The psychiatrist can prescribe medication to ease your panic attacks. You don't necessarily have to take them forever. The therapist can help you deal with the cause of your panic attacks. If things are as bad as you describe you may need to go to the ER. Most large cities have at least one ER devoted to psychiatric patients. I went to one in Syracuse, NY in 2000. They literally saved my life. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, though not to the degree I used to. Don't keep trying to deal with this on your own. You need help! I pray you will seek help. God bless!

Answer 7

Don't be ashamed.
Go and see an understanding doctor who might refer you to a specialist. A psychologist or a psychiatrist who might give you medication also.
All the best and good luck.
But do not suffer in silence. Go and see somebody please. There is nothing to be ashamed about .

Answer 8

telling someone how you feel is nothing to be ashamed of... if you feel you cant handle work,,,,and faceing everyone just find another job..and what happened to you at 15 really was not your fault .. you was just in a bad situtation..

Answer 9

you shouldn't be ashamed, it's not your fault. i do think that you should she a counselor to help you find ways to control your panic attacks. good luck hun!

Answer 10

well, i have panic attacks as well but i take meds for this. i see a cod has well. u nd to tlk to ur doc