why can't I just be me?

Question

Why is it that ever time I go to my therapist. I have to act like someone that i aint. Why cant i just be me!!!!

My therapist told me that she diden understand my problem and that i was not to be my self anymore she also said that if i go to an other one it would be the same way so what do i do then?

Answer 1

My question to you is why do you feel you have to act like that to
your counselor? Don't you think he/she ever heard this before?
If you are uncomfortable with your counselor - I would suggest
you change him/her. I have had multiple counselors - I had one
guy tell me I was causing my problems! I walked out of there,
went to his supervisor & I changed immediately! He was very
errogant & I didn't need his crap. You need to find someone you
can be 100% with - or it won't help you.
I have a female counselor now - I am amazed at how much she
listens and how much she cares! Last yr. when I turned 50 - she
actuallly "sang" happy birthday to me on my answering machine,
because she didn't see me that day! My God! what a difference!
I am still seeing her, I often feel that even if no one else gave a
crap - at least "she" did. And believe me, you can't tell them anything they haven't heard before! Why do you think they are in
that profession? Obviously nothing is new?? I am not sure of how you feel, but believe me - if you can't take it and you are
putting on a mask - how are you helping yourself? You need to be 100% honest or you will never get better! Take it from me -
I've been in counseling for my depression since 1986 and I go
once a week. It sure helps me!

Answer 2

You can be you, but it is easier for you to be that alter ego. Maybe you are committed to looking good versus doing good. Buy Dr. Phil's books and find your authentic self. It's not that you can't it's that you won't. The posturing of confusion is a state of not telling the truth. Quit playing the victim of not knowing. When you want others to perceive something else other than your true self your faking a good deal and doing an identity assault. Quit tripping and be brutally honest and spill your beans. Your a human being with faults. So who cares! Quit worrying about what others think and be the person you have always wanted to be.Lighten up.

Answer 3

Why is it you feel you have to act differently with your therapist? That is the one place where it is most important to be yourself. Perhaps your therapist is not a good match for you and you need someone else. You aren't there to prove anything to anyone, so why is it you can't be you? Have you mentioned this to him/her?

Talk to someone you trust (adult) who can help you tell your therapist the problem, and then you can problem-solve to find an answer to get over this hump and be free to be yourself ... everywhere.

Answer 4

You are worried what the therapist will think if you tell the truth. Just remember, everyone has secrets and things they don't want others to know about. I do, you do, your therapist does. Plus, the therapist is there to help you, not judge you. They can't do their job completely unless you are honest. Be brave, you can do it.

Answer 5

Be you. If you are there because of some issues you have that's the perfect place to show them to your therapist. Like you are paying that person to listen to your issues then what in hell are you doing there acting like you are fine.???

Answer 6

Maybe you need to find a therapist that you can relate to better. it's okay to switch therapists if you think that is necessary to break your habbit of being fake with the other one.

Answer 7

sometimes we all like to pretend that we are someone else. Don't worry its human nature. I pretend sometimes because I afraid. What am I afraid of, what people think about me or what would they view me as. I have learn that it really doesn't matter what other people think.They don't pay your bills and they wont be there when times are hard. Be yourself people respect you more because for some weird reason people can detect when your not being yourself.

Answer 8

Maybe your therapist is the one with problems...

Answer 9

you feel this way because you are afraid to talk about the real issues in fear of being judged. trust me don't be. they hear much crazier stuff from alot of other people. your issues will seem small and pale in contrast with half the other things they hear on the daily. the more you pretend the worse of you will be cuz its not helping you.

Answer 10

uhm...maybe you're trying to tell your therapist things that she/he wants to hear? You should be able to be yourself, and if you aren't comfortable enough to be yourself around your therapist then they probably aren't right for you and pretty much useless.