Is this still considered to be rape?

Question

My friend, who is 16, just sent me an IM and told me that she was raped last week. She said that on the last night of a church camp, she met a guy (who is 18). Apparently they went to his truck and started making out. She told me that up until that point, she was wanting to have sex with him, but she was still a virgin, and got scared. From what she tells me, she told the guy "no" and he ignored her. She said that she cried and kept telling him to stop, but he didn't stop. My question is, is this considered to be rape? She said that she is going to the doctor next week and see what they tell her. Oh, and apparently, he did not use protection. What should she do up to this point? Please help, I am 19, but I have never been in this situation and have no clue what to tell her. Any suggestions would help.

Answer 1

You should tell your friend to talk to her mother, or other adult female friend, to give her support.

My opinion is that it is indeed rape ... like date rape ... no is no, and he should have respected her and stopped.

I doubt that she has any chance in court against him, just the way the laws and courts go ... but she should contact a rape counselor, or any counselor that can help her deal with the emotional baggage caused by this, especialy since she was a virgin at the time.

As far as you ... listen, support, encourage, and just be there for her, it sounds like you are doing just that. Good for you!!!

Answer 2

Yes this is called Date Rape. NO means no
This young man needs to be reported asap
Also she should go to the doctor NOW.
She is NOT at fault for making out with him. Once a woman says NO and the male continues-- this is definatly is RAPE
It does'nt matter if she had a moment when she wanted to have sex, what matters is that she said NO when it came to the sex part. A man or boy who can continue while a woman says no and crys is a rapist. This young man sounds like he might of been working at the camp. He needs to be confronted and make sure he never works with kids again.
If your friends parents won't react well to this, then involve a teacher or some other adult. Remember not everyone can be trusted. Especially this guy, He needs to be stopped before he does this to another young woman. He has probably done this before. It is very sad. Don't let your friend blame herself. She did the right thing to say no. And there is'nt anything wrong with kissing the guy in the truck, but the wrong part was on the guy, he is a rapist. This needs to be stopped And all men need to realize that Rape is NOT acceptable under any circumstances.
Be strong. Get the help you guys need. My daughter was date raped. So, been there...

Answer 3

Any time someone says no and their request is ignored and a sex act is commited it is considered rape. Not to mention the fact that she is only 16 and this person is 18 that alone is statutory rape. You should tell your friend not to wait til next week to see someone as soon as possible because the time in between it happening and next week can be the loss of major evidence. Date rape is always hard to prove but tell your friend unless she tries this could happen to many other young ladies. Please whatever you do make sure your friend knows that none of this is her fault and she has the right to say no matter what level of "making out" they were at. No means NO!

Answer 4

That is a very classic (unfortunately) situation that is 100% definitely sexual assault (rape).

Does your friend have a good support system (friends, supportive family, etc)? How is she doing emotionally?

She needs to see her doctor ASAP to be tested for pregnancy and STI's (used to be called STDs) and to decide whether or not she wants an examination for signs of rape.

It's totally up to her whether or not she will ever press charges; nothing says that she has to press charges, but if she is even **considering** pressing charges later in the future, an exam by an MD and gathering other evidence is advisable (has she washed the clothes she was wearing? is she in contact with any of the other campers/counsellors who would testify that they saw hew and him together? has she written down an account of what happened? etc).

I really hope that she recovers well from this. If the weight of this ever gets to be too much for her (or for you, as her confidante) then always keep the option of seeing a counsellor open. It can really help for both survivors of sexual assault and their friends/family.

You are a good friend for being concerned about her well-being! :)

Answer 5

Yes, this is still considered rape. If she changed her mind and told him to stop then he should have done it. I'm sorry that this happened to her, there is no excuse for a guy to ever do that to a girl. She really should have went right to the doctor when it happened, there might not be any way to prove that it happened now. Good luck to her.

Answer 6

It is definitely rape. And it's statutory rape as well because he is 18 and she is still 16. As long as she said no, and its obvious that she did and that there was no consent, it was rape. If its not too late, tell her not to bathe or wash herself before she goes to the doctor, because this will get rid of the DNA evidence collected in the rape kit.

Answer 7

Its rape. When a woman says no! that means for him to stop! She needs to tell her parents and call the police. Yes, she is going to be scared. Maybe you can support her by being with her when she tells her parents. She needs to go to the doctor asap to have tests done. Just be there for her. Explain to her, that its not her fault. That guy took advantage of her, plain and simple. Good luck

Answer 8

I have been in her situation. I felt guilty and blamed myself until someone told me what date rape was. I never told my parents which was a huge mistake. I actually married this guy thinking it would solve my problems. Big mistake! Tell your friend it is date rape and No is no! no matter what point you say it. She is under age and he is not and in some states it is statutory rape. Tell her not to hide it. Her parents will understand more than you know. sorry to hear about your friend. Good luck with that.

Answer 9

Yes. It's rape. She should tell the police even if she doesn't want to press charges she should still report the incadent. She should also seek counciling. It's too late for a morning after kit so she should see the Dr regularly to make sure she's ok.

Answer 10

Yes, that is rape. No means no, even if the answer was previously yes. It is too late for the morning after pill. She is wise to go to the doctor and follow whatever advice he/she gives her. Just be there for her. She made a bad decision to go off with that jerk, hopefully she won't have any more consequences than she has already.