Did I do the right thing?

Question

Our daughter is 5 months. She would ONLY sleep in her cradle swing. Dr said it was ok, but we knew she couldnt sleep in it forever. We slowly transitioned her to the point where she was ready for the crib. 1st night was bad-she finally went down after 5 hours & slept only 6 hours in the 24 hour day (13 is usual!)The next night it took 4 hours to get her to sleep & she awoke at 3am & did not want to go back to the crib. I didnt want to put her back in the swing, because I thought that would make the transition more confusing & harder & cause more tears in the long run. I knew that if I went in there and picked her up, she would be up for the rest of the day on 5 hrs sleep and she was already lethargic from being sleep deprived. I knew she needed to sleep so her little body wouldnt go through exhaustion. Going in and soothing makes her cry worse, so I couldnt. She cried for 30 min & slept-hasnt had a problem since. But I feel guilty for not answering her cries.Did I do the right thing?

Answer 1

Just make sure you don't make a habit of letting her cry & she'll be fine. You feel guilty cause you're a good mom. It's ok - she's ok and she's better off sleeping her bed. You did the right thing. You're probably sleep deprived yourself. Go have a good cry, a hot shower & a long sleep. :)

Answer 2

Yes, do not feel bad. I was afraid to let my 7month old son cry when he was a baby. So I finally let him cry it out and never had a problem again (he is 6 years old now). My daughter I put her down in her bed from the very beginning and if she cried a little it was O.K. she slept through the night by the time she was 2 months old. Babies need their sleep to grow and it teaches them to sooth herself. By daughter is now 2 1/2 and is happy and smart and rarely has temper tantrums I believe because she is well rested. Hope that helped.

Answer 3

Don't feel guilty BUT, you might want to wait to try to do the ferber thing until she is older. Five months is really too young to let them cry it out because they don't yet understand that you are still there for them. Also the lack of sleep will just make her crankier.
If I were you I would let her sleep where she likes and where she sleeps well until about 8-10 months and then try the ferber method (put her in crib, let her cry 5 mins, check on her, let her cry 10 mins, check on her, let her cry 20 mins until eventually she goes to sleep. This can take several nights but I promise it works. Our son has been putting himself to sleep since he was 11 months old. We just put him in the crib, kiss him goodnight and that is that. Good luck.
Don't feel guilty for anything you do as a parent. It is really trial and error and all kids react differently to different methods.

Answer 4

It sounds like you did the right thing to me. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and I know how hard it is to listen to them cry. With my first I always said I didn't have a child to let her cry so whenever she cried my husband and I were there. Turned out this wasn't the best thing because after that anything and EVERYTHING she wanted she thought she could get crying. We finally got her out the routine and were ready, willing, and able to listen to the 1 year old cry when she didn't get her way. I think in the long run catering to every tear hurts more than it helps. Sounds like this transition was hard, but it worked..CONGRATS!

Answer 5

I'm glad you've put her out of the swing. but maybe the crib isn't the best place. like how about a nice comfy play pen in your room? of course, when she gets old enough tos tart noticing certain things you're gonna wanna move her out. and if she's transitionally challenged you don't want to make her go through more transitions than needed.

also if she IS transitionally challenged just talk her through it. she'll start to understand your "transition" voice and calm down and be ready for it. you also might want to make it a habit to set her down, read her something, sing her something, just to soothe her and THEN leave. hope this helps, and yes you still sound like a good mother who did the righ thing!

Answer 6

Personally, I couldn't stand to listen to my son cry so he never used a crib - I let him sleep with me. This is partly due to a very early memory I have of crying at night, knowing my parents could hear and were ignoring me. I was no more than two years old but I remember how much it hurt feeling my parents didn't care about me.

Answer 7

yes you did. Because if u didn't ignore her cries and moved her where she wanted then she would think that she had control of you with her crying. So therefore yeah u did do the right thing, maybe now she understands that she has to deal with what is given. Even if she's 5 months. And i'm not even a parent.

Answer 8

Yes. Welcome to the world of parental patience. It is a hard road but as long as she is safe, healthy and out of harm, I wouldn't worry. I had to do the same thing to my son and ended up in the other room crying more than he did. I ask the pediatrician and he said they recommend thirty minutes and what I did was fine. Boy did I feel bad. It is not like she is going to be 15 and say, you hate ME! you left me in my room crying for 30 minutes when i was a baby! Not gonna happen. Good luck and take care.

Answer 9

Of course, the transtition had to occur sooner or later, and the longer you would have waited, the worse it would have been for her, in terms of confusion. You shouldn't feel guilty for not answering her cries, I believe this is a normal step all mothers go through. You definately did the right thing.

Answer 10

Sounds like you did fine. This is not the only time that she will have to learn to handle the situation on her own. You lovingly gave her a tool to use in the future, even though she doesn't understand it yet. I think that one of the things that makes a good mom is that feeling of guilt for doing the things to help your kids be independent little people. You did good.