I fell in love with a guy a year ago, and I thought he felt the same. When I finally asked him out, he said "I can't. You're going away anyway" as I was going to University. His ex-gf moved away to Italy. It was neither a yes or a no, and he'd also said I should come back in future. Someone I confided in had also suggested I go back. I was heartbroken, and felt it'd all been one-sided unrequited love on my part, and went through the pain of going away and losing him, having tried the best I could to tell him how I felt, but getting no response.
I had got to the stage where it didn't hurt any more and I could remember the way I felt about him with fondness. Then, last week, I went to get a train timetable at the station, and bumped into someone I knew back then. She suggested that I go back and see him again. I'm a bit of a romantic and think that maybe he just needed time, and now we've had time apart he might be glad to see me again, like a fresh start. Should I go back?
2006-06-24 11:07:59 · 23 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well it seems you have never really gotten over this guy...what have you got to lose by going to see him? keep it casual - don't get your hopes up but just have a bit of a catch up with him and see how things go from there! Hope it all goes well!!!
2006-06-24 11:42:52 · answer #1 · answered by xxlalaxx 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Do not even try. He has moved on - he did not want to even go out for a last time before you left. He was already moving away from you emotionally then. Females tend to think that the guy is thinking of them even though it is over. Males tend to think of the future, and who might be in it - not usually the past relationships either. Why would you want to go through more pain? Move on, find someone who is WORTH it and who thinks you are as well. You even knew it was one-sided, so why push yourself on a guy who clearly does NOT care?
You said it took you a long time to get over it the first time. You also said the guy said no as you were moving away (a convenient answer to give, he could not even be direct about that) - don't you think you would get the same response as you will be there for a visit once again - meaning you will also be moving away again? Just because that girl thought you should try does not mean anything. You probably got into a conversation about him, said how much you were thinking of him and how much you loved him - kind of the same thing you typed here, and she said why not try again, as that is what she assumed you wanted to hear. If you really want to punish yourself, go for it, but after a year he has surely moved on - well technically not, as he never was yours to begin with (you said you never dated - that you were in love with him but it was not reciprocated)!
2006-06-24 11:12:19 · answer #2 · answered by still learning at 56 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say NO....don't go looking for him. If he wants to see you, let him get in touch with you. You already asked him one time if he felt the same as you did, and he didn't even give you a direct answer then. Whoever you saw at the train station can tell him they saw you ... and if he wants, he'll come around on his own. Don't give up your self-worth by chasing someone.
2006-06-24 11:14:46 · answer #3 · answered by trueblond195 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't do it, don't give him the pleasure of having his ego boost by your attention, if he is not interested b4 why would he be now, if you had a relationship b4 then that will be another story coz you had shared a lot of things then and surely if not all, some things would be missed..in short you had history. in your case no relationship was ever present.
he was reluctant, with his statement of you going away anyway shows his inability to take chances and risk...would you like to spend your life with this guy who did not even care for what you feel, don't dwell on your emotion coz it might fail you again and you'll be disappointed, hurt again, move on coz its high time for you to be happy
2006-06-24 12:34:15 · answer #4 · answered by s270wizard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he had true feelings for you he would never have let you go away without knowing how he felt, especially if you had just poured out your heart to him. But if you feel this is something you must do to get closure then do it. A closed mouth doesn't get fed. Take a chance rejection only stings for a second. Hope things work out. :)
2006-06-24 11:19:07 · answer #5 · answered by Wanna K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always go back, but if you go back, don't go back expecting something to happen with him. Chances are, he either feels bad for rejecting you or he just isn't interested. The reason I say that is he did not try to stay in touch with you while you were away.
2006-06-24 11:11:54 · answer #6 · answered by Rob K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt. if he really wants u he will find u. id just get on with my life. wot if u go back and the same thing happens again? u have to go all through it again. just forget him and move on. he is not the only guy in the world and if he had liked u that much, he would have snapped u up the first time.
2006-06-24 13:43:33 · answer #7 · answered by crophilia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO WAY! He's most likely married with a kid by now. You had your chance and lost it. Stay away, very far away. He's got a good thing going now and doesn't need some messed up chick from his past popping up and screwing up his new life. No wait..nevermind...I've been smoking crack again...go see him! LOL
2006-06-24 11:12:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really think its true love ...... go for it. Just dont expect to much from the situation and make sure there's a clear understanding of the situation also. I wish you the best
2006-06-24 11:10:20 · answer #9 · answered by 123NO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try it. He said 'no' for a good reason - and it didn't have anything to do with you. Try it out going to see him as a friend and see what happens.
2006-06-24 11:13:28 · answer #10 · answered by Kats 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋