How long should one wait to get married after they are engaged?

Question

1 Year?
2 years?
3 Years?

Whenever it feels right?

alright.. I'm 21. have been leaving with my fiance for 3 years and have been together for 4. we just got engaged last august. We're currently going to be starting grad school in august and have decided to wait till june 2008. because by then we would have graduated and hopefully saved some money.

But I sorta just want to go out and do it. lol. and have a big party later when we can afford it.

Answer 1

I want to say 2 years is a long enough time to save money,..plan a nice wedding and to live together. I think that is an important thing. If you can't live together your marriage will be hard. Just my opinion.

Answer 2

2008 is a very long time. Why not get married next year in June while you have a break from school. 3 years ago my hubbie and I were married after I graduated from college. We were dating for 4 years, got in engaged in Nov 2002 and were married in August 2003. I understand the money situation, but do you plan to work and go to school? Most people start a career and still attend grad school.

Answer 3

In my opinion, engagements are for two things: wedding planning and premarital counseling. It's a time when you can get to know each other on a whole new level, and it gives you a chance to take care of all the logistics of gettin' to the church on time! I would say no more than a year. You're already living together. Putting off the wedding much longer than that and it will become too easy to just stick with the status quo. Then you'll be one of those pertpetually engaged couples. You don't want that.

The tricky part is, don't even get engaged unless you're actually ready to be married. If either of you thinks being engaged is fine but it's too soon for marriage, then it's too soon for an engagement, too. Engagement IS a kind of marriage, y'know. You're promised to that person and no other. The only difference between that and marriage is the legally binding social contract and public record. So you have to ask yourself if you got engaged too soon. Too soon for you OR for your fiance. Food for thought.

Answer 4

Ultimately it is up to when you are truly ready to make that commitment. My husband and I had considered having a very long engagement at one point, because he wanted to wait to finish his current tour, however we realized to be engaged for 3 years was going to be way too long for us. We waited a year and that was more than enough to plan a big wedding (and do it from long distance). So many people get caught up in the planning of the ceremony and the reception and forget the entire reason and significance of that ceremony. I would at least give yourself plenty of time to get pre-marital counseling ( you will need it) and really answer those difficult questions that will come up. Being married and living together are two totally separate things. Just give yourself time and you will know when it is right.

Answer 5

My husband and I met on June 9th and got married August 20th of that year. It was quick but we knew we were meant for each other. We have a wonderful marriage, a beautiful little boy, and another baby on the way. You can imagine growing old with a number of people but ask yourself to try and imagine growing old and not having this man inyour life. If she can't do it, then you've made the right decsion on getting married! I think it a wonderful idea to wait until you've both finished your educations but it's up to. To be honest, my husband and I were both 19 when we married. We weren't in college but we were both active duty military. We were ready to be married and it was right for us. We had a courthouse wedding with no family. His family coudn't fly in from Oregon (we were in FL) and even though my family was an hour and a half away in MS, I didn't think it was fair to have my family there and not his. We planned on having a cermony five years later but we had our son and being military, we couldn't afford to take care of our son and have the wedding I dreamed of. Now that we've started our family I'm resigned to the idea that it might be our 20th anniversary before my father finally walks me down the aisle. It's okay though. It was a decision that worked for us and we're happy. Just make sure that you make the right decision. You don't want any regrets about the day you marry your spouse! Good luck and God bless!

Answer 6

Hey, I just got engaged on June 6. We decided our wedding to be in May of 2008. That gives us time to save lots of money, plan things at a reasonable rate. Its the first time we both will be married we want it to be special. We want to take our time and do things the right way instead of having the days pass by and regret and think back about what we should have done.

Answer 7

In your case, finish grad school and wait 2 years after that. Get all the education you can and start your careers and you will have a BALL when you finally do marry.

Besides nobody has any sense until they're 25 anyway -- and I include myself in that statement. You may not want to marry this guy a few years down the road.

Answer 8

I just got engaged in Paris in May to my boyfriend of four years. Of those four years we lived together for probably two and bought our own home about 8 months ago. We are probably going to have a cruiseship wedding which will cost quite a bit of money so we are starting to plan this summer with hopes to go in the next two years. I think it's important to enjoy your engaged time. It's fresh, everyone wants to see the ring and ask you questions....and give you lots of ideas!!! (that you might not want) but just enjoy it. I think I'll enjoy being engaged more then married!

Answer 9

If you are ready to make a lifetime commitment to each other and are already living together...plan your wedding and get married. Usually 6 - 9 months is what it takes to plan a big wedding. I think couples who wait longer than a year may as well still be dating. If you are engaged for years and years, you aren't really in a committed relationship.

Answer 10

do it when ever you want. but i think it is a good plan to wait till after you graduate grad school. if that is want you want to do. my fiance and i just got engaged in dec 2005 and we are geting married in Sept 2006. so do it when you and he want to not when everyone else wants you to.