I always said that if my children found anyone that loved them as much as I do.....then I would be okay with their choice. I know that my future daughter in law fits this bill. I just need the right words to convey this message to her......
2006-06-24 10:11:08 · 5 answers · asked by debbie c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i agree....you've already written it...
2006-06-24 16:52:55 · answer #1 · answered by mistress of the obscure 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two words for you- STAY OUT!!! I know this will sound harsh, and maybe you are right about her, I don't know- you sound like you are being equally as bratty, but you need to stay out of it. You need to accept that your son is an adult and a big boy and that he can make choices on his own. Whether you agree or not, you need to accept that he has the right to choose. You really need to just back off and start being nice to her. How do you know she is aloof and withdrawn? Maybe she just is not comfortable with your family yet and your attitude is not helping anything. I love my in-laws but when I go there I am quiet and reserved because I don't know them that well. I am still learning my place and how to interact with them. They live an hour away, and my family lives very close. I worry sometimes that they think that we spend too much time with my family. The bottom line, is that I have always been a part of my family and have only known his family for a short time. I don't feel comfortable doing the things at his parents house as I do at my mom's house. I guess some could say that I am quiet and aloof when I am around them. You need to just be nice to her. You and your daughters can offer to throw her another shower for your side of the family and anyone else she want to invite. If she turns you down, don't get mad, just be gracious about it. If you change your attitude, you may see a change in the situation. If you do, and there is no change, then she is a spoiled bratt, but then you will have to just accept that she is who your son chose. If you continue with your attitude, your son will feel caught between the two women who mean the most in his life and if he feels he has to choose, he will choose her over you. Once he is married his wife should come first. So if you want to be in his life, I would apoligize to his wife for the way you have treated her, even if she has not treated you well, you can still apologize for your behavior, and then be kind to her from here on out. It may change things in the long run. Trust me there is no feeling worse than knowing that your mother-in-law thinks that you are not good enough for her son. I dealt with that my first marriage, the more I spoke to her, the more I resented her. Whenever she told me I was holding him back, or wasn't a good enough housekeeper or didn't love him enough- it just hurt more and more each time and I just resented her more and more each day.
2016-03-16 21:14:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those words are perfect. Tell her you are glad your son found someone who loves him as much as you do and you hope she takes care of him and cherishes him for the rest of her life. Also let her know the you are glad he found someone you can love and proudly welcome into your family. Trust me...I wish my mother-in-law felt that way about me, but she isnt that kind of person. I did have a boyfriend once though whose mother told me she though of me as a daughter and was glad I loved her son as much as I did. It was such a wonderful feeling to know she accepted me. Things didn't work out with us, we still talk and when his mom is around, she still asks how I'm doing and wishes me all the best in the future. Its nice you feel the way you do about her. She will be thrilled to hear that. Congrats on your sons wedding!
2006-06-24 10:31:09 · answer #3 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me you have already answered it. take another look at what you just wrote. It reads like it came from the heart. you take that as the foundation and build it.keep molding it. Use your feelings, express them. let it be your word your feeling not anyone else's feelings. just what you wrote seem appropriate enough to me and it seems like you are about to gain not just an in law but another daughter and newest addition to your family. congratulations and best of luck.
2006-06-24 10:36:35 · answer #4 · answered by cookiemonsta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe you already answered it--welcome to the family
2006-06-24 10:39:47 · answer #5 · answered by grniz2cu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋