i have been thinking about being friends with my ex. bf again. but then again, when we did become friends, it was really wierd. i think that i'm just a booty call to him, but then again i dont know. what should i do?
2006-06-24 09:30:20 · 20 answers · asked by shar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i see people go from "just friends" to "more than friends" quite often. it seems to me the more time two people spend together, the more they like each other. and if there is also a physical attraction, then dating the person is a natural progression. it makes sense for people to switch between "like" and "love." it doesn't make sense to go from "love" to "hate" to "like," but in the case where there are children from the relationship you should learn to tolerate each other for their sake (doesn't necessarily apply to your situation).
were you two friends before you hooked up? why did you break up with each other? if there was cheating, or some form of abuse, or you just couldn't get along with one another, there is no point in trying to stay friends. the bad qualities will spill over into your friendship. if he is using you for sex, that is not friendship. it's either a relationship or casual sex (if you consent) or rape (if you don't consent). figure out which one it is, fast, and deal with it accordingly.
i know from experience that trying to stay friends with an ex (there just wasn't chemistry, but we got along fine) was grounds for extreme jealousy from the next guy i dated. i thought we could all be friends and go out and do things together, so no one felt left out, but someone always felt left out. and since you and your ex were physically intimate, there will be awkwardness. just as an example, friends oftentimes will hug each other. but when you are with your ex, a hug isn't just a hug. you might be sending him a signal you don't intend to send. and if you two always walked together holding hands, then it would feel natural for you to continue doing so throughout your platonic relationship, but it is bound to confuse someone (you, him, people around you).
my advice is, if you want to get back together (if there is a good reason to), then do so. if not... friendship is probably too much to ask for. civility, on the other hand, is necessary. don't bad-mouth or complain about each other, don't pick fights with each other, that kind of stuff. also it's a good idea to keep the details of your past relationship just between him and you.
2006-06-24 09:57:09 · answer #1 · answered by ecluv7 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
1
2016-05-06 02:18:14 · answer #2 · answered by Wesley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that u 2 can only be friends without the booty call, and that way u will see if he just thinks of u as a booty call or a friend. If he doesn't want to be your friend without the sex , then u just move on! Do not have sex with him and let him know that your not just a booty call your a person with feelings and you demand respect from him or u don't see you two remaining friends.
2006-06-24 09:37:48 · answer #3 · answered by browneyes517@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be friends because he knows too much about you. Anything could happen in your life and he may be the resource and the answer,,,,,.but don't sleep with him. and if you can't do that than seperate yourself from him until YOU are strong enough to be friends and not sex buddies. But you must remain remotely concious of how you can get in touch with this person should you need to.
seems like you're not only his booty call...seems like he's your booty call as well.....hmm.....is it really that good?
2006-06-24 09:36:01 · answer #4 · answered by neoflippintrukid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he treats you as a booty call then no. You will be sucked into trying to chase a guy who you can't have. you can be polite and cordial but not friends that hang out alone it will happen all over again and who needs that. I have been there and done it.
2006-06-24 09:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by blondiebella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion only, and speaking from personal experience, I think its more like a security thing, he knows he can call you and you'll be there, booty call or not, you are still there for him, right? Its best not to be friends, you'll just end up getting hurt.
2006-06-24 09:34:16 · answer #6 · answered by spoiled_21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try being platonic friends and see if his interest remains in being friendly, so to speak. If it is a booty call for him, then he wont be there as a friend, and you will have your answer.
2006-06-24 09:33:49 · answer #7 · answered by Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no don't do it!!! It will either ending up hurting youi or them and it's just not worth it plus once you have sex with a guy you automatically become their "booty call" so if you don't wanna have sex with him then find new friends
2006-06-24 09:34:40 · answer #8 · answered by MelC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats all it is to him, ur right. i have learned that the hard way. there is no way you can be friends w an ex. not right away at least. and why b friends w him ne way? if you two were meant to be friends, then u would have been friends to begin with, not more than
2006-06-24 09:35:29 · answer #9 · answered by kkaze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah if you want a continuous headache. Nothing like a daily reminder of a point of failure in your life.
2006-06-24 09:33:53 · answer #10 · answered by tripping_00 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋