alright heres the story first then answer
alright got to hang out with my 2nd cousin or something random like that hes gay never talked to him before just saw a picture of the guy he looks....sorry .....sterotypical gay guy fanshionable hair sticking out lil bit of make up really expensivly looking cloths really itight jeans and my dad wants me to hang out with the guy...no im not homophobic listen do you i treat him like a girl or guy and i have to hang with him just me and him and im feel scared feel like people will think im gay, like a gay couple or something. going to the mall or something with the guy cause he is kinda obvious give me your answer. also i cant bring friends, if i had just 1 straight friend of mine hanging with him wouldnt be so stressful and wont feel like a couple
2006-06-24 06:26:48 · 20 answers · asked by lztexan 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just because someone will think you're gay doesn't make you gay. Who cares what people think? In the end it only matters what you think. I think it's cool to be inclusive and secure enough about yourself that you can deal with hanging out with your homo cousin. Sorry, second cousin.
If they see it in your eyes that you're afraid of being thought of as gay they will want to tease you all the more.
2006-06-24 06:32:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is always a tough situation for a straight guy....
If you are really straight, and I believe you when you say that you are, then it shouldn't be any problem. Showing security in your own sexuality is the best proof that you have no bi-sexual or gay leanings in you. Why would you care what some other person thinks? Let them think you are gay, what does it matter if you really aren't?
And no you don't treat him like a girl... he's a dude, just not a particularly manly dude... but he might be a cool fun person if you give him a chance. I hang out with lots of gay people both men and women, and one thing we do not talk about is what is it like to be gay? Treat him the way you would any other guy his age but he probably doesn't want to cruise chicks, although gay guys can be chick magnets so maybe you can work the situation to your advantage.
2006-06-24 13:41:56 · answer #2 · answered by eggman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. try this: Go to a mall, amusement park, zoo, somewhere where a variety of people hang out. Do this by yourself before you meet this guy. Keeping in mind that about 10% of the population are practicing homosexuals, watch groups of 2 or more guys go by. You'll notice that about one in ten of the pairs of men are walking a little closer to eachother, maybe looking into eachother's eyes more, etc. These would be the gay ones. Since you (probably) don't act that way, you won't be mistaken for anyone but you.
Second, do something gender neuteral, like catching a movie and getting a bite to eat. Go to a muliplex theatre and let him choose the movie. Just have a good time with him. He's a person. He probably won't bite you (I know I reserve that behavior for when my husband and I are rough-housing) and he's probably a really nice guy!
2006-06-24 13:36:25 · answer #3 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to be a little comfortable with your own sexuality. Hanging out with someone who is gay does not make you gay, and who really cares what other people think? Stop being so insecure. He's a PERSON in need of a friend, and you don't sound like you'd be a very good one. Also, if your friends would come down on you for hanging out with someone who was gay, what does that say about them?
Also, do you know for a fact that he's gay? You say you just saw a picture where he's dressed well, and you've never even spoken to him. If you're willing to make snap-judgements about people based on how they look, then I can see why you think other people would do the same to you. That's ...really sad.
2006-06-24 13:33:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may be awkward, but it never hurts to try to understand someone who is different from you. Remember, he's a human being first. You may find that you have something in common. A lot of teens get mad when people judge them by how they dress or wear their hair, but they are so judgmental about the same things in people who are different. Give this guy a chance, just to make your dad happy. Trust me, no one is going to think this guy and you are a couple. The vibe won't be there. But maybe they'll think you're kinda cool because you can hang with someone who is so different. Just be friendly and courteous. He's probably going to feel uncomfortable too. At least you have that in common!
2006-06-24 13:38:00 · answer #5 · answered by just♪wondering 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's human and probably has fears as well. He's family, and it really doesn't matter "what's up with him" in the big picture. The important thing is to be as sincere as you can be. He's not going to make you gay by hanging out. Maybe you don't need your friends, this is a moment of truth, and a challenge for you to face your fears. I say, grab the bull by the horns. Fear is larger than reality. You probably have some things in common--being relatives--and it will be fine. Everyone needs love and compassion, and down the road you may need a family member that you can rely on. Now is your chance to establish this relationship.
2006-06-24 13:36:55 · answer #6 · answered by magnamamma 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You treat him like any other MALE cousin. If you run into people you know, you say "This is my cousin, ____. This is my friend, ____." Unless YOU bring it up, his orientation probably won't even be an issue, much less a problem. Remember, most of the people he deals with are straight, like you, so he will have some social skills -- he's not out to embarrass you! And he sure isn't going to regard you as a "romantic interest" -- I can promise you that you're NOT his type! So relax.
2006-06-24 13:43:52 · answer #7 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's probably just as nervous about hanging out with you as you are with him. You straight guys scare us gay ones too you know. It depends on how "out" he is - if he's really obnoxious, then I'd tell him you're uncomfortable and leave. You don't need to put up with it if you don't want to. But if he's cool and respectful, try to relax and find things in common. Avoid going to the mall - go someplace you won't run into your friends. Also, hopefully it's not something you're expected to do regularly. Also, explain how you're feeling to your father or mother - they'll understand.
2006-06-24 13:32:38 · answer #8 · answered by inter_textual 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked this over with your dad? Asked him why he wants you to hang out ... ? Your dad knows what your cousin is into correct? The fact is we're judged my our friends ... the people we hang out with. There certainly isn't anything wrong with having homosexual friends ... The ones I have don't look different than anyone else. If your cousin is looking fem he's made a choice ... he knows he's going to alienate some people. You shouldn't be forced to hangout with him.
2006-06-24 13:47:02 · answer #9 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that 'could' be awkward! Well, if you have to, just treat him like another guy, only don't talk about girls (or guys). Just talk about other things you may have in common or do things you may have in common. You can go to the mall and see things like games and clothes you may both like to get. Try not to get too obsessed about it. It's not that big of a deal.
2006-06-24 13:29:35 · answer #10 · answered by merlin_steele 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋