Can anybody help me?? PLEASE!!?

Question

MY son is ADHD and moved back in w/ us...he pays $65 a week...he does chores when asked...he has ALWAYS needed reminders about everything...my boyfriend does't understand and downs him alot to me...my son can't focus well at work...trys hard but without meds he can't afford he can't perform well...he can't afford meds because he can't hold a job long enough to get insurance....he really trys at work and gets depressed when he fails...if anything happens to me, he is doomed...HELP!! My boyfriend is tired of his faults...he doesn't understand....anybody know what kind of help there is out there for my son??

I know that suicide is very high in ADHD people...also his father killed himself...that's one thing I'm afraid of...

Answer 1

First I'd toss the boyfriend out, second I'd take your son to the local Human Services/welfare office and Social Security office (check the yellow pages) for benefits and get him into a counseling program. Third, I'd find a new boyfriend who won't judge your son.

Answer 2

First things first: You need to sit your boyfriend down and explain to him (IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS) that this is your child. Your boyfriend can be as tired as he wants to. If he can't accept you son the way he is, do you REALLY want him in your life?

Have you planned for his future, if God forbid, something does happen to you?

If you can't do that, and show that your child is more important than anything else (grown or not), then you really don't care enough to be looking for help for him anyway.

Next: There should be government programs available for him to get his meds at reduced or no cost. Contact the county, and the state to see which ones he qualifies for. They may put him on insurance, keep him medicated, and also help supply him with a job. (The rest of the assistance would be contingent on him maintaining the job they supply.)

Remember the first part of what I said, and good luck.

Answer 3

You are a "help" for your son! In my home town there are "Mental Health" organizations that "help" people that qualify for that type of "help". Check at your local hospital, Mental Health organization, or library. Otherwise, Well, you're not going to like this advice- - - but you need to get rid of the boyfriend!!!!! Your son will always be your son and can't be replaced! Your boyfriend is just a person that you have attached yourself to, for whatever reason, an can be replaced!!!!

Answer 4

First try to educate your b/f about your son's disorder.....then talk with your local pharmisist about a Paitient Assistance Program. They will help your son get his medications for free of VERY LOW COST....$20 to $30 for a three month supply. Then get your son evaluated by a doctor to see if he would be considered "disabled". If yes, get him to apply for SSD/SSI. In the mean time...got to your local Human Services dept and apply for food stamps and medical. If your son works less that 40 hours a week or is making less that full time pay...he can qualify for both even if he is working.

YOU NEED TO GET INTO COUNSELING FOR CARETAKERS. It is not easy to provide long term care for your son It will take a toll on your body, time, money, friends, social life. These stresses will make taking care of your son harder and, hey, we all need a break.

As far as your son being "doomed" with out you....try to get yourself legally [through the court] made his "caretaker". This will alow you to handle his money, medications, and make a will that states where he will live and who will take care of him when you die. Not something we like to consider but remember....you are doing this For HIM! and you will feel better knowing his future is secure!

Answer 5

well it may not be legal, but theres only one thing i know that actualy mellohs people out and helps to target the focus on one thing longer, thats my buddy bud ,as far as your boyfreind taken over if you wasnt around ?i would find someone that does understand to take over if things were to befall you but then again every body has a point of anger but from what you say it sounds like yur guy is one that just dont beleive in adhd and some times those who are diagnosed actualy use that to get away with more than they would normaly do cuz they know they can, but i would need more info to discover whats realy goin on/ok more info from the guy coo, what do yu mean he dont do ne thing ,?well duud if he dont know how to do some thing then its time that some body helps to teach him as a father , not being physical bout it but reasonable ,you need a reason that taps into the focus of attention ,something that he cant ignore , so be cool about it,also whats goin on with the jobs ?well i would relax cuz at least hes got a job alot of people are lookin for more than two years just cuz the jobs are full with all the down sizeing and some people dont even have a job and just are not accepted even though they are able to do the job, maney many reasons but in the home chores ?he needs some kinda help to do know those things and reason enough to want to do them ,i dealt with that trapt feelin and wanted to change cuz i keep failin and couldnt figure it out ,but i did and now i do what i never did before, that still dont change peoples opinions about me nore does it open up job positions but i dont do wrong anymore and thats realy all you need to do is stay out of trouble

Answer 6

I am the boyfriend and I NEVER DOWN HIM TO HIS FACE.... I tell my girlfriend that he does NOTHING and I am sick and tired of it. He works 20 hrs a week and only takes home $75 to $150 a week and he is a 22 year old man/kid! All I ask is for him to do something... something at all.... is that wrong.... he is also still living with us.... he doesn't know how to cook, clean, laundry etc.... he does nothing but mooch! OOps he does pay $65 a week to live here but again he does NOTHING BECAUSE HIS MOM DOES EVERYTHING! Wlii he ever and I mean EVER grow up if she keeps it up? What would happen if she died today????? What would he become????/

Answer 7

My step son has the same problem. He gets SSI and there are places that pay his rent too. You should check with social security to see if he is eligible. Also check with your local mental health department they have programs to help them too. My step son has an apartment in a complex where they remind them to take their meds and other things. He has medicare which pays for his meds too. Good luck and tell your boyfriend to ease up please people with ADHD have feelings too.

Answer 8

First of all, you need to kick your smart a s s boyfriend out!!! Why would you stay with someone who doesn't like your son? You probably feel like you're walking on eggshells around him. Your son probably knows that he is being talked about by him and it makes him feel really low. Your supposed to be the MOTHER. GROW up and kick him out. As for your son, contact government help such as Medicaid or local places for help with his meds. Maybe a mental health org in your city.

Answer 9

The first thing you have to do is choose between your son and boyfriend. That's not gonna work. The second thing is to contact Dept. Of Human Services. Go to firstgov.gov. That's the Fed's main portal and start looking around for help.

Answer 10

You should get help for him through a government program they are out there,you will just have to help him get the help. Then you need to tell your boyfriend to leave. A mother should Never pick a man over her child, no matter how old the child is. It pisses me off every time I read the news paper and a child has been hurt by their mothers boyfriend, and the woman usually says"but I love him"