I'm a 18 year old virgin and my boyfriend of 8 months is 24. I'm religous n believe sex before marriage is a sin. I really want to wait until I'm married, but its hard dating without sex involved. I don't want to dump my morals for a man but i really love him n want him to be around. He believes its stupid for me to belive that. I dont want him to cheat on me nor leave me because I wont have sex with him. Am I being selfish? What should I do??
2006-06-24 05:07:01 · 23 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I applaud you waiting until you're married. If your boyfriend can't handle that, then maybe it's time to get rid of him. Sex can always wait. Love isn't about sex, although it can involve it, at the appropriate time. Think of it like this....love can wait 5 years, lust can't wait 5 minutes. It also seems that he's not religious like you. So do you really want to be unequally yoked? Someone who truly loves you will understand, and they'll wait with you until that special moment, after you have a ring on your finger. Don't settle for anything less. Oh another thing, Never dump your morals for any man.....find someone who thinks like you. You'll have less trouble in the future that way. Best of luck to you......
2006-06-24 05:24:41 · answer #1 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
you are not being selfish at all! i am in almost the SAME shoes one compromise that my boyfriend and i have is that hes learning to respect my wishes to wait until marriage. we were arguing one day and i said if you want to have sex now then you can leave cause you're not getting it from me. he was in shock but he realized how important my morals and religion is to me so he respects my wishes and believes that morals make a person strong. Although there is a chance he will hurt your heart, you should sit him down and tell him that its sortof like a goal for you to wait until marriage, if he cant except that then maybe the 2 of you shouldnt be together, i know its rough to say but if he cares about you they way it looks as if he does, he will not cheat, he'll respect your wishes and maybe one day when you get married and with him you'll find the perfect time.. The thing being that he is 24, he is 6 years older than you and has a bit more experiance at life. Im sure he'll say things to want you to change your mind but thats not really a great boyfriend now is it! i think you can do it, and i question myself all the time on the sex thing but with that mutual respect, all is well. best of luck and follow your heart even though sometimes it may be a rough decision
2006-06-24 05:17:42 · answer #2 · answered by jessica 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I respect your morals and wanting to wait. I believe if possible, that is the thing to do. But if your guy really loves you, and you do have sex, he will stay with you. I know this doesn't make much sense, but in a marriage, as in any other relationship, there needs to be chemistry. If you know it's there already, then cool. However, some people have gotten married, 'thinking' they had chemistry, but after they got married, realized they were just thinking it was there.
2006-06-24 05:11:27 · answer #3 · answered by merlin_steele 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl listen, if he ain't going to wait until you get married then he ain't worth it. You're not being selfish in any way. Just look at it this way, let's say you have sex with him while you know what you're doing is a sin. And you know sinners don't go to heaven when the Lord comes back for us. Is it worth burning in hell for eternity just because a man wanted sex from you before marriage?
2006-06-24 05:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by essence 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he said it's stupid for you to have morals, he needs to go. You are not being selfish. Stand up for what you believe in and don't give into pressure. You're better than that...You should tell him you are firm in your beliefs and that you love him, but you're not willing to do something you feel is wrong to keep him. If he cannot handle that and leaves, you are better off. You'll find someone who appreciates YOU for who you are and what you believe in!
2006-06-24 05:11:40 · answer #5 · answered by yogazen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he makes you feel like you should "dump your morals" for him... he's not worth it. Any guy that REALLY loved you wouldn't ask you to do that, he'd wait, just like you are. I'm a virgin too, and waiting to get married before I have sex, and if I date a guy that isn't a virgin, I usually dump him, if I'm waiting, so is my guy.
2006-06-25 05:46:36 · answer #6 · answered by ooh_rah07 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(wow, all of ones above are great answers...except for some. it'll be hard for you to pick the best answer).
you are not selfish. if he doesn't approve of what you believe in, then you shouldn't worry about keeping him. remember, a lot of women makes the mistake of giving up their viginity to a man in order to keep them around. you're still young, hun. i think you should not worry about the 'sex involved in a relationship' in order to save your relationship. it's not worth it. i am also religious and i love my boyfriend more because he respect my beliefs. there's really no way for you to love him if he force you to do something. it's your life, don't get carried away by something you know you'll regret doing.
2006-06-24 05:53:25 · answer #7 · answered by 27stars 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being selfish. There are a lot of benefits to waiting. If your partner is against that, it may be time to rethink your relationship. However, if you aren't against it, there are other ways to enjoy each other and even get off without actually having sex. It depends on what you classify "having sex" as. You could try oral, or let him f*** you between your boobs...
2006-06-24 05:10:32 · answer #8 · answered by lizwatson109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 corimthians 6:14 says "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers" maybe this is not the right guy for you. i also belive that sex can wait and i know it is hard. but if you keep fighting with all that you have you will make it. that way your virginty will be a great gift to your husband.
2006-06-24 05:13:05 · answer #9 · answered by jimbond13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not ready, and you strongly want to wait and he thinks your morals are stupid, you need to find better, he just wants to be your first. Guys love to be a woman's first so they cn go bragging that he was your first, he really doesn't care about you, if he did, he would be willing to wait till you are ready. NEVER give up your beliefs for anyone. You WILL regret it later.
2006-06-24 05:11:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋