How do I make the progression from just dating to boyfriend & girlfriend if we live in different states?

Question

I started dating a guy i've known since high schoolabout 8 months ago. We used to live in the same town but now I live 5 hours away because of school. I used to go visit him at his place every couple of weeks because I had a car but I lost it in an accident so now I take the bus to see him. He hasn't come to visit me at my place because he is very busy with a new business he started up. Since he hasn't come to see me its starting to annoy me and I told him I won't come to see him till he does which is okay with, he says he understands and will be able to come by more when summer ends cause he won't be as busy. He recently asked me if I loved him and I told him I don't know even though I do because when I asked him how he feels about me he only responded with "If we were living closer together I'd want you to be my girlfriend." I really think that this relationship could go somewhere because he is a sweet guy and with us being friends before he really gets me and we have fun together.

Oh and I'll be in school for just 15 more months then I'll head back home which then we'll be a couple hours away unless whatever grad school I go to is closer than that.

Answer 1

It seems like every relationship question boils down to a few fundamental points

1. Be honest with yourself about your emotions, if you can't do this then you can't be honest with your partner. Remember that it's alright to feel whatever emotion you feel, it's how you react to that emotion that determines your maturity.

2. Remain open to new ideas. Every relationship will go through changes as it progresses. If you are unwilling to adapt, then the relationship is effectively over. The relationship being over is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be if you don't refer to rule #1. Continuing the relationship past its demise is a sure fire way to set yourself up for heartache.

3. Get to know your partner, and how (s)he reacts to your honesty. Any sign of dishonesty is cause for concern, even if your partner is lying to himself.

4. Don't accept responsibility for anyone other than yourself. Only you are responsible for your emotions, and your partner is responsible for his emotions. If you notice your boyfriend attempting to blame you for how he feels then that's a major red flag indicating his own immaturity.

5. Mature people have mature relationships, and the converse immature people have immature relationships. All too often people ignore fundamental signs of a relationships demise because they don't want to lose something. What I call (in myself) the "I want!!!" 5 year old syndrome. This evokes the same emotions that a 5 year old feels in the check-out line of a grocery store.

I hope I didn't wander too far off of your intended question. Best of luck to you (and no, some people avoid the "stupid" questions in answer to your follow-up question)

Answer 2

It's extremely hard to have a long distance relationship. In my experience, they seldom work out. But I known others who have had long distance relationships that ended in marriage. I would say that if you get a chance to go there, then go there and have a heart to heart talk with him. Find out his what his future intentions are, and if they include you. The thing about these types of relationships is that communication is very important, but living in 2 different states, this can be expensive. You've both got decisions to make.....whether each of you wants to commit. It'll be hard, but I'm sure in the long run it'll be worth it. I wish you the best of luck...............

Answer 3

if i was you i would tell him that if he does not have time for u then you cant be in that realationship anymore. i was in that same situation now i figured why my bf was so busy...Because he was cheating on me all that time after two years of being faithfull an having to deal with that long distance thing.