2006-06-24 03:26:01 · 10 answers · asked by lupo_dm 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
YOU CHOOSE you Maid of Honor, your Maid of Honor does NOT choose herself. An "honor" needs to be earned. It sounds like your friend hasn't earned it, for whatever reason.
If you are comfortable offering her the honor of Bridesmaid, do that, but only AFTER your preferred MoH has accepted the position.
When she asks why she's not your Maid of Honor, list all the "boring chores" a MoH needs to perform for you and suggest that you thought she'd have much more fun at the wedding without those obligations.
If she holds a grudge, tell her to grow up. Anyone who would begrudge you your choice of MoH isn't exactly "best friend" material... IMO.
2006-06-24 06:18:28 · answer #1 · answered by Kya Rose 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been to weddings where the maid of honor was not dependable and the bride then had to depend on one of the other girls. Weddings should be happy times and everything should be done to keep it that way. A bride needs a lot of help and that is what her m of h does. We went to a wedding where the m of h was not able to do all she could because of college, etc. but she and the bride worked it out so that some of the other girls helped the bride. That could be an idea for you too. lt depends on how close the two of you are. I would talk honestly with her. If she is really flaky, ask her to be one of the attendents. I'lm sorry you have this extra task to take care of in the midst of all that has to get done.
Really enjoy your wedding! Try not to spend the day just taking pictures and greeting everyone. Really enjoy the day.
2006-06-24 06:11:22 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea why people shy away from the obvious: honesty. Let her know that you have chosen someone else. If you like, tell her you'd want her to play another role in the wedding. Leave it at that. You don't need to hurt her by talking about the dependability factor. Remember, chosing a maid/matron of honor is not just about who you were most giggly with back when. It's about who you love AND who can fulfill the DUTIES. Period.
2006-06-24 10:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you'll think about it but you make no promises. If you have another best friend or a relative that you have a terrific relationship with, you can ask them to be your maid of honor. If your best friend can't respect your decision then she's not really a best friend.
2006-06-24 04:01:18 · answer #4 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go with what your gut is saying, especially if you have someone else in mind for the job. If you want to include her though, maybe a bridesmaid. It's better to have someone you know will be there on the big day rather than having to worry as well about someone who won't. There's no need to add to your stress on an already hectic day.
2006-06-24 12:14:40 · answer #5 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her down softly saying you promised your best friend that she could do it and tell her she can still be in the wedding and maybe even help out the maid of honor.
2006-06-24 04:00:58 · answer #6 · answered by Lauren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding. Do what you feel is the best for you! My best friend thought the same thing but instead she is my personal attendant. And she loves the idea. Now she is tryingto plan everythig but that is a whole other story. Good luck and Congrats!!
2006-06-24 04:58:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you would love to have her as your bridesmaids but you wanted your other friend/sister/ect to be your maid of honor.
2006-06-24 04:05:44 · answer #8 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not do it offer her to be one of the Bride maid.
2006-06-24 05:20:56 · answer #9 · answered by vina770 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is YOUR day - don't plan it out of perceived obligations to others.
2006-06-29 08:23:58 · answer #10 · answered by junebug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋