Ok, Help I'm Having Boyfriend Troubles. I've read a couple of books on guys and dateing, and well I thought...

Question

... I knew it all, but I need help!
This guy I have been seeing for the past 8months now, is just really starting to piss me off. All we ever talk about is work, friends, family and the latest movie/T.V series we have watched. His really nice to me though, but kinda in a childish way. E.G He says I love you to me heaps, but in a silly, kiddy tone. Helps me mind my Nephews, wants to see me every night, but we don't talk about anything in depth. He rarely takes me any where new.... 95% of the time we are at his place or mine, or in junction between the two. We are usually at his place (Gosh.... now I'm starting to get embarrased) and well.... he lives in his parents garage. His nearly 24, and it's a pretty cool room now..... that's since last weekend when I helped him clean it out, move furniture around and I even defrosted his fridge. I see him every night of the week, and we eat dinner with his family.... which his mum cooks, no-one helps her out.
Should I stay or go?

Answer 1

You need to stop what you are doing and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what YOU want. What are you looking for in a relationship? Does he fit into your world? Too many women try and fit into the partners world. It is about you and nobody else. If you read what you have written and actually take it in, it comes across as negative. Are you afraid of being on your own? Are you in your comfort zone? Remember, doubt means no. Maybe you are "just not that into him". Only you know how you really feel, you cannot lie to yourself but you can be in denial. Maybe you are insecure?? Spend some time on your own to reflect. It maybe a good idea to spend a few days away and get honest with yourself one way or another. Only you can make the choice. Follow your instincts. Opportunities open up to you once your mind is clear. Stop procrastinating. I wish you well.
good luck.

Answer 2

I will need a little more information in order to answer your questions, just look at the following:

Did your boyfriend do all the right things at first?Dates, concerts, movies, day trips, romantic surprises, then things changed into the dating groove?

Or, did he always do what he is doing, except the new has worn off, and you want out?


My opinion is skewed by old school view of independence from your family no latter than age 21, but It sounds as if this guy is 14 mentally, with no drive, or ambition with you or his one life. Then again could be wrong. As to your question, stay or go, this depends on what you want, and what you are doing in this relationship. Are you just dating to be dating because you don’t want to be alone, and it is easier to say my boyfriend and I are,(insert event), or do you want to have more, do more, or be more with him?

The next step will be confrontations, not the way you think, just a talk. Before you do this write down your expectation, and rehearse what you want to say. Next step, set aside time with no distraction, and lay it out for him. If he agrees to work to keep you, and you believe he has it in him,(see first question asked) then give him time. If he hasn’t done it before, I doubt at 24 you will not be able to teach him to do what you want, only time will . And staying in the relationship will not change him.

This is more than just a boyfriend and it looks like you are wanting more. Unfortunately you do not want to leave, and look back at this time and realize you had a good thing going. Then again, you don’t want to wake up 2 years form now, and realize that you’ve worn a butt print in the couch.


Now for the tip:

If he is willing to change, take some vacation time, and plan a road trip. If possible set aside a week and plan a destinations drive of at least 1000 miles round trip. The goal is not the destination but the journey. And if you can make it back in one peace. Then you may have a chance. But if he has to ask his mother first, make a run for it.

Answer 3

I think you already know the answer. You don't see this relationship going anywhere do you? You see his mom and what she's going thru and don't want to end up in the same situation. Get out while you still can the longer you wait the harder it will be. There is nothing worse that a man who doesn't inspire you. If he still lives with his parents. Then he isn't mature enough for you since you already see the problem in that. If you don't get stimulating talk from him then perhaps you should find a college student to date.

Answer 4

My husband was 25 and living in the house he was born in. His parents built a place a couple years earlier and left the house to him. His dad never let him do anything, paint, move things.

They left EVERYTHING. beds clothes towels curtains furniture when they moved. His mom still did his laundry until we got married. He still hasnt ever owned his own vehicle because he dad ****** his head up and always tells him he cant afford one or buy the right kind (he makes over 20 and hour.. YEAH RIGHT).

We never did anything while we dated. We usually hung out at his place and watched tv or a movie. Sometimes we'd go out to do something, but not too often.

but we were made for each other, and i wanted a simple person. It worked out great for us because iam not a complicated person... well, not that complicated.

I moved us the hell out of there and weened him off his mother, and things are awesome. I couldnt live without him. He loves me and takes care of me, and couldnt live without me.

You do what you want, but as long as he's interested in you, and is willing to try to make you happy when you explain your problems to him, i'd stick with him. not all prince charmings ride a white stallion. Some have tricycles.

Answer 5

Gee... a man who sees you every day, talks to you, helps you babysit and like spending time with you, says he loves you and...??

Have you ever tried bringing up deeper topics of conversation with him? Do you invite him over and cook dinner for him? Don't put the onus on him for everything.

And if you have issues with his living arrangement, try to be a little less snobby. At least he is saving up some money and still has a bit of privacy from his 'rents.

Do whatever you want, but ifyou can't initiate the changes you want in a relationship than you need to take some ownership of it failing as well.

Answer 6

First of all, reading books aren't gonna help you figure out a guy, they're very complicated and twisted. I think that you should talk to him first, tell him that it's sorta time you both talked about growing up (well him mostly ). Try suggesting going out more, to public places. Change the subjects to things more important and see how he handles them. I say that you stay if your happy with him and try these things out, if your not happy and he stays a little child, leave. There are so many guys out there that will make you happy (maybe even happier ).

Answer 7

I started living on my own at 20. That's too old to be staying at home and just plain lazy. Drop his a*ss. Tell him to get his own place, or you are going to leave him. If he fights it, move on. He's a child still and it's not gonig to change unless he leaves the nest. Move on. There's over 3 billion male humans in the world. He is but one. Keep searching, something will pop up. Move on.

Answer 8

God, you should take him... those type of guys are really serious he might be very slow and very discomforting but those guys are very serious when they go in a relationship no plays and he won't hurt you... just for once in a while teach him to think like a 24 year old :)

Answer 9

This is something that will have to be up to you.
A warning: relationships with guys who still live at home, usually don't work. The mother doesn't just have the apron tied to him, it's tied AROUND him. Look out.

Answer 10

You read the books? Best learning tool in relationships is real life. Looks like you want more and he is not it. You should take a break and see what else is outhere for you.

Good Luck.