her mom doesnt abuse her but she cant ever do anything right, she told me she has gotten so upset 3 times in the last 24 hours she has cut herslef...but she wont let me tell anyone at all, she said if i told she would hate me..i dont want that! so please wat can i do!? HELP!
2006-06-24 02:41:43 · 16 answers · asked by sarah 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
This issue is far beyond only being upset with her mom. She is very distressed and needs professional help. She won't hate you... she may get angry, but I believe in telling you, she was asking indirectly for help. Be the best friend you can be and help her get help. Being a true friend is not about "popularity". It is about caring.
2006-06-24 02:46:44 · answer #1 · answered by prairiesky 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am thinking this might be her reaction to not being heard or understood by her mother.. she is internalizing the issue and taking out the frustration of the faltering relationship with her mother out on herself.. in a very irrational way..
I think I would talk to her mother, but not about the cutting.. I would say somethng like
(enter her name here) has a lot of issues on her mind that she would really like to talk to you (mom) about.. What mother would turn her own daughter down.. ? About the self abuse.. I would take a similar approch with a school counselor or call into the local hospital for anonymous advice.. once you have some useful and supportive information to present to her.. let her know that you are there to help her and that her actions are not normal and far from healthy.. encourage her to get some help and talk her issues out..
If you push too hard on her.. you will lose a friend.. people that are cutters or self abusers typically dont respond rationally to attempts at helping.. it is the whole idea of self help through self hurt.. keep it anonymous but the time will come when she realizes she is making a mistake and will help herself in a reational way.. Be a supportive friend.. and you might benefit from talking to someone about how this is affecting you.. I know how much it must hurt you to have to see your friend suffer like this :)
I am sorry for it all.. I hate reading these tyoes of questions..
Best of luck to BOTH of you :)
2006-06-24 09:55:11 · answer #2 · answered by lost_but_not_hopeless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that there is no need to cut herself because even though her mom may not think anything is perfect including her child, ther eis no need to be upset. She should confront her mom and say how she feels. If that doesn't work than its no use to trying to be better becasue it wn't help and nor would cutting herself. She should pray and you hsould pray too that she deons't do anything bad. It depends how old she is but maybe you could ask her to come to your house for a sleepover and maybe confront your parents to help. SHe might not like that but she needs to tell someone with adult expereince of life. Maybe also she should ask her dad for help or just stay away from her hom and get a rest for a while, but that may upset her when she gets back and she could run away. Just follow the other things I said. Hope t helps.
PRAY :)
2006-06-24 09:49:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your friend is crying out for attention and acceptance, sounds to me anyway , if she cant do anything right in her mom's eyes , hermom is not a very positive role model , how about your mom is she a good role model,? if she is let her talk to your mom,give your mom a heads up about the situation.Maybe she could shed some light on the situiation and maybe make your friend feel alittle better about herself.if your asking to help your friend you are a very good friend to her , spend some quality time with her.get your hair done or something,you are the best role model that this girl has.just by you asking for help show's me that someone has been a good role model for you because you care enough about people to reach out on behalf of your friend
good luck to you and your friend i hope all will be o.k.
2006-06-24 09:52:07 · answer #4 · answered by LARRY P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if her mom is telling her she "cant do anything right"? Its emotional abuse... which is too common. There is a online group I wish to present to you. Both men and women are there to help. There are legit counselors, but many will be supportive. And yes, we've helped several adults (male & female) whom were cutters since childhood..What you talk about to the counselors, is completely confidential. They may even direct you to a local area specialized in helping "cutters".
2006-06-24 09:51:55 · answer #5 · answered by Timmmay! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While self-harm is not usually suicidal behavior, it should still be taken seriously. As with other kinds of addictive behaviors, you cannot simply tell someone to stop and expect her or him to comply. A professional therapist is usually needed to assist in overcoming self-injurious behavior.
This is nothing to play around with and you aren't competent to handle what is a mental disease. The best you can do is talk to her mother (or school counselor) and get her into a professional. Those who suggesting that you advise her are giving very bad advice.
2006-06-24 09:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by Randy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. DON'T REJECT the last thing we need is to have someone we cared about enough to tell them this to ditch us.
2. DON'T GIVE ULTIMATUMS Point blank they don't work this isn't something we can just stop if it was we would.
3. OFFER MORAL SUPPORT and/or if possible advocay when dealing with medicial personal.
4. DON'T ASSUME THAT WHEN SOMEONE ISN'T SELF HARMING THAT THEY DON'T NEED YOUR SUPPORT
5. DON'T GIVE UP Especially when the medical services have.
If she feels like she really wants too there are tons of places she can go to find tips not too? there are support groups in most major cities,
2006-06-24 10:33:50 · answer #7 · answered by lustfulfaerie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cutting yourself is one of many personality disorders; usually starts in early teenage years. They cut themselves because they feel numb to the world in some cases. Your freind needs counseling followed by medication to help her cope with her issues. Probably nothing her mom did unless she is just not saying. If you dont turn her in she could hurt herself either cause an infection or death - then she wouldnt be alive to be mad at you. Wouldnt you rather have her alive and mad at you than dead and NOT mad at you? Do the right thing. I know you will
Mike RN
2006-06-24 09:58:43 · answer #8 · answered by MIke D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm tuff choice friend hates me because I tell she is causing herself bodily harm, and as she keeps doing it it will only GET WORSE, OR I let her continue to abuse herself and possibly cause to something worse than just cutting. I think if you love your friend you NEED TO TELL, she will get over it and maybe she won't. But maybe if mom knows she will have her eyes opened to what is going on and then together they can work everything out.
2006-06-24 09:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Self mutilation (what cutting yourself is considered) is a SERIOUS problem and she needs help. She may say she hates you if you tell...but in the long run, once she gets some much needed help, she will be thankful you cared enough to say something to someone.
2006-06-24 09:46:19 · answer #10 · answered by schaianne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I will report this situation to crisis hot line. You want to help your friend as soon as possible before it is too late. Don't think that she is thinking straight when she told you she will hate you if you tell someone. Your friend need a psychiatrist .Please do her a favour by telling someone that your friend is a danger to herself.
2006-06-24 09:49:47 · answer #11 · answered by THERESA V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋