I fell in love with a man that is twelve years my senior, is this too old for me?

Question

What problems do you forsee us having should we marry? What is the perfect age differnce and what is concidered too old for someone?

I am 43 and he is 55 years old.

Answer 1

12 years is a bit too old but still ok. I forsee sex drive difference problems. When he reaches his fifties he will have erection problems and you will still be wanting sex. Big problem.

Answer 2

I'm a 43 year old woman who is married to a 36 year old man. A relative of mine was in a relationship with a man who was 15 years older than her. I don't think that the age difference is a problem now. But you might want to consider that men typically live a shorter life span than women and if this relationship lasts, how will the two of you cope with the older age issues. For instance when he is 80 and you are 68? I'd suggest that the two of you really talk over those type of issues and see if the two of you are willing to deal with those types of situations. Other than that issue, I think that if the two of you are happy together and have qualities that make for a wonderful relationship (all areas such as shared values, financial concerns, etc) go for it! At 43, if you have found a wonderful man, who cares what his age is?

Answer 3

My dad is 55 and my stepmom is 39. They are a better match than I could have imagined. They will have been married for 10 years now, and still going strong. I am also attracted to men much older than me. For me it has a lot to do with maturity, and not just burping and farting, cuz they all do that forever. I mean spiritual maturity, ability to have a family, be a leader, and a spouse. I think it has more to do with life levels. If you are on the same level, you may be compatible. There are plenty of people who are the same age, and seem to be a perfect fit, but are not compatible. Sometimes it takes a person who is older or younger to balance you out.

Answer 4

Not at 43. The general rule of thumb for adults is 1/2 your age plus 7 years. For example If he is 55 than his lower age limit would be about 33 - you are well within range.

Answer 5

It really depends on your age. Under 18 you are not ready.
I met my husband at 18. He is sometimes 10 other times 11 years my senior. We have been married 32 years. It's not the age difference on making the relationship work. It is how you both treat each other, especially in trying times. How well do you two handle the pressure. There are always the good times, but there also bad times. The relationship should be equal. Oh, He had three boys that came into our lives also.
With love anything is possible.

Answer 6

He's lived 28% longer than you have - that's not too much extra. Give it a shot. The same difference in age when you're younger would be HUGE. If you were 30 and he 42, he'd have lived 40% longer than you. If you were 25 and he 37, he'd have lived nearly 50% longer than you. So, less than 30% longer than you isn't so bad AT ALL.
Think of it this way, the same difference (12 years) when you're 65 and he's 77, will only be that he's lived 18% longer than you. As you get older, the difference of 12 years will seem less and less because it will actually be less and less of each of your lives. Good luck.

Answer 7

No, that's not too old for you.The only problems I foresee is maybe differences in music,or him reminiscing about things from his era,&you having no idea what the *^#! he's talking about.
The perfect age difference varies because some people are very young souls&others are old souls.
If a girl(or a boy) is a minor and there sgnifigant other isn't......that is too big of an age gap!Other than that anything goes:)

Answer 8

Are you kidding?? You're 43 years old and searching for validation for your older boyfriend?? If he makes you happy and you love him, he's the perfect age difference for you. It's not like you were 18 and he was 30. Stop worrying about what others think. Use your own brain; YOU know best what's right for you. Peace.

Answer 9

There is never too old with age , its all about getting on with each other and enjoying each others company. My ex wife was nearly 10 yrs my senior and shes great. There will be no problem you going to encounter. Do whats good for you. Good luck

Answer 10

I don't see anything wrong with it other than getting older will present some challenges. He could be retired and on a walker by the time you get that far in life. Hard to say? Just think? He might not be able to live an as an active lifestyle as you.

Answer 11

i say that if you love this man enough to look past the age difference than you can make it work! the only person that can decide who is perfect for you is you! everyone has problems but it seems to me that if you have to ask other people if you should marry this man you either worry too much about what other people think or you don't really love him enough to go through with it!(no offence)