I'm in a long term relationship but a guy @ work asked me out for dinner. What do I do?

Question

This guy knows I'm attached and apparently he is seeing someone as well. He said this will be just a friendship dinner. On one side I'm tempted but on the other side I know it'll hurt my boyfriend if he finds out.
This guy is already settled while my boyfriend isn't yet. He's 35 and my boyfriend is 26...I'm 25. A couple of months ago I almost "fell" for him but I resisted it as best as I could and I made it. I'm afraid that having dinner with him will make that feeling grow again..which can be the beginning of cheating. My boyfriend seems to love me very much and he's willing to do a lot of things to make me happy and for good future. I think he's able to sense it even though I lie about this dinner. I know I should refuse to avoid bad things happen in the future, especially between me and my boyfriend. But I'm still tempted. What should I do?

Answer 1

You have to learn the diff between being tempted (having thoughts, desires, fantasies, etc.) and acting it out. I agree with those who said this guy can't be trusted, and you should end one rel before starting a new one. Not to mention, this may be only friendship for him, but more for you, and then again, maybe he's just trying to take advantage of you if he can get away with it.
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The one thing you definitely should do is discuss with your bf your temptation and see what he thinks of you going out with Mr. 35 at work. If he doesn't feel threatened, go for it. That is highly unlikely for a dude under 30, so your best bet is to give up on anything outside of work with Mr. 35.
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Sounds to me like you and Mr. 35 might be a good pair, since you both seem to enjoy cheating or the thought of it anyway. Going back to my opener - thoughts are just that, but actions cannot be undone or "righted" if they are "wrong." The other issue here is "sacrificing the permanent on the altar of the immediate." IOW, damaging or ruining your LTR for the sake of a fun night with Mr. 35 who might not cut it long-term.
~~~Best of luck!

Answer 2

Sooner or later your bf will find out about it. You are right...this will be the beginning of cheating. How would you feel if your bf went to dinner with a girl from work and didn't tell you about it. If you really love your bf and you've invested a lot of time in the relationship already then why would you take a chance w/ the horn dog at work who obviously is not a good guy cuz if he's willing to cheat on his gf WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'LL DO TO YOU? Don't do it unless you think that your current relationship is going nowhere. If that's the case then break-up with your bf FIRST so you can be free to do whatever you want without being guilty of cheating. Remember: What goes around, comes around.

Answer 3

If you have to ask this question, then take a good long look at your current realtionship and decide whether it's worth losing for the new guy. maybe you should wait until you are both free from commitments before you start anything new. if you decide to go for it, break up with your current boyfriend first.

Answer 4

You need to decide this question for yourself. You have alot going on here. If you go out to dinner then you can definately kiss your current relationship goodbye.

Answer 5

use your common sense and don't do it. think about how you would feel if he did this to you, duh!!!! get out of one relationship before you start another, it's just plain mean, rude and inconsiderate to do this to another person, male or female. if you want to see other people get out of your current relationship, sounds like your not satisfied anyway if your thinking about it or just don't give a damn about other peoples feelings. just being honest. just friends always leads to more, this I'm sure of!!!

Answer 6

Ask yourself why you are "tempted".Sex?