I can't talk to my mum about anything. How can I make it easier for me?

Question

A lot of bad things have happened to me in the past, resulting in me not being able to trust anyone in my family. I'd love to be able to talk to them but it's too hard because it might include them. I just end up running away when I get scared and not talking about it. I know it's not the best idea but that's how I can cope. I don't want to run away anymore because it never helps anyone else but me. I really want to be able to talk to someone in my family but I just can't it's too hard.

Answer 1

First of all, I'm so sorry you've been hurt in the past. It's terrible when you lose your trust on people, and it's not easy to get it back.

I'd suggest you try to find someone else to talk to first. Find someone who has knowledge of the kinds of things you've gone through (often our friends, as loving as they can be, are not able to offer constructing advice on really serious matters). As many here have suggested, talk to someone who is trained to help, listen and councel people. I'd suggest you speak to a person of the same sex as yourself, so that you can feel as comfortable as possible. Your GP is a good place to start from. Or call one of the help lines available. They are trained to listen and help you to resolve your issues.

Once you've been able to talk about things to someone who listens and wants what's best for you, hopefully you've been able to make things more clear to yourself in your head, and then you can try to talk to your mother. If it still feels difficult, you can ask your councellor/GP (or whoever it is you've been talking with) to be there and help you.

I know it's going to be tough and painful, but it's well worth it. You said that being quiet only helps you, but at the end of the day you're hurting yourself the most. You're robbing yourself the right to live free from guilt, pressure and fear. I know, because I've been in a similar circumstance. For me it was a constant weight on my shoulders, reminding me that there was something wrong in my life, something I wasn't able to sort out.

I got through it, and feel so much better now! I know you can do it too, and I hope you will have the courage to face the problems and slowly, slowly work through them.

God bless you,
RachelK

Answer 2

Does your mum have a best friend you can trust? Does she have a sister? Do you have a gran? Do you get on well with your best mate's mum? Is their one other close adult in your life who you can really trust?

You could write your mum a letter, take your time in it and open up your heart. Then, ask one of the former to take the letter to her, even, ask her over to their place and give it to her, and be with her when she reads it.

Then, when she's had time to digest and understand your letter, let you meet her there and afford you privacy together.

Neutral territory often helps.

You don't give your age, and this matters much inside affording you advice.

Answer 3

Sweety, listen in life ppl gotta create their own litttle family with ppl they love. Get a good freind tolk to him/she bout how you feeling inside belive me this helps alot. Sometimes im pretty sure you might feel a bit guilty for the fact that you have a family problem and all but it ainr your fault nor theirs aint no one perfect in life you shouldnt expect for your family to be either. Just move on by yourself, find a friend someone u trust and trust me things will one day change.take care

Answer 4

I don't know enough about your situation to comment to any extent, but obviously there are some real difficulties in your life. I would suggest you ring a hotline specifically for young people (e.g. Childline) and speak to a counsellor who can listen to the full issues you may have, and give constructive advice on that basis. Good luck.

Answer 5

Y r u running away... when u run away u coming back with the same problem u left with be a man and say what going on ..... and leave it at dat running away don't prove anything ....stay at the crib. the only way they can trust is tell your family what going on

Answer 6

Sit your mum down and tell her you want to explain whats been going on in your life, tell her it's hard for you to talk so if she could just listen without iterupting, And then she can speak when you've finished, Somtimes it's hard for parents too we want to think that our children are happy,

Answer 7

Honey dont run away it solves nothing and your putting yourself in danger.Have you not got a family friend you can trust?Maybe your G.P can refer you to someone who can help you sort things out! Good luck girl!x

Answer 8

You need to say exaclty what you mean dont be embarrassed or feel bad...

ie has someone been hitting you or others. been touching you or hurting you where sexaully ie your private bits... if so you need to go to the police as those who have don't love you and are bad even if family or if anyone is forcing you to do anything like that.

Are they drug or alcohol addicts... tell us so we can help.

Answer 9

use a friend as a third party to start with then have a meeting on nutral ground ie a pud garden with your third party and slowly your find that you will be able to speak openly to mum all the best

Answer 10

I think i can relate... Maybe you are scared that your family won't believe what you say and deny it. Sometimes people know whatever happen is still there,but they don't want to believe it, and they deny it because they don't want to deal with it, but they are hurting themselves inside by not dealing with it. But you need to get your feelings out. Maybe family counseling will help.