2006-06-23 22:32:01 · 4 answers · asked by gaucon_lovely90 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is a huge change for them at such a early part of their life. They feel that THEY are the reason for it. Try to hang with your mate while the kids are so vunerable, but if you can't, at least be honest with them, so they know it's not THEIR fault. Ron
2006-06-23 22:41:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children love both parents. When the parents divorce, the children sometimes feel it was their fault and they feel guilty. They may withdraw emotionally because their self-esteem suffers; they don't feel good about themselves. Recently, psychologists have found fathers are actually far more important in the emotional development of their children than what was previously thought even ten years ago.
For these reasons, try to keep discussions about access and custody private between the two of you; do not involve the children. It will only harm them. My former spouse kept trying to discuss these matters when I'd return our daughter to her on Sunday afternoons, ruining a beautiful weekend with my daughter and upsetting her. I had the court order her not to discuss these issues in the presence of our daughter.
Regardless of the relationship between the parents, it is good and necessary for the children to have a relationship with the father. If their are concerns about safety (if he's violent or a sexual predator), visitation may be supervised.
My own parents divorced because my father was a weekend binger (alcoholic) who would become violent when drunk, beat mom and threaten us kids. Strangely enough, I still went to see him once every two or three months after the divorce when I was a teenager. Sometimes I'd have to leave because he'd say something stupid and start arguing. I got into weightlifting so I could defend myself if he tried anything. I loved him (he passed on a few years ago), but It was frustrating to deal with him. Even someone like this had his times when he was human and could connect with you; we went fishing often when I was younger and there were some beautiful times together. I just couldn't understand the drinking. I now know his own childhood wasn't very peaceful.
2006-06-23 22:43:16 · answer #2 · answered by Me in Canada eh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking this?? Are you planning a divorce??
Divorce is between 2 adults .. because either or both of them cant compromise.
Marriage is for raising a family... parents staying together for the children's interest. You don't get married for yourself but rather for the kids.
If you don't have any kids.. that's fine .. go for the divorce
But if you have kids then go kill yourself, its easier for the children to accept. Don't do this to the kids.
('',)
Peace!
2006-06-25 01:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by Jolly Roger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when their parents divorced, i think the parents have a lot to do with it, they can fight for custody and bribe the kids into likin them and stuff like that and it makes the kids confused and well they kinda break down for a while and then they get used to it, quickly in most cases, but it all depends on how everythin happens
2006-06-23 22:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by greatpanther09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋