My mother & I have never gotten along. We r complete opposites. I am 20 and I'm ready 2 move out. B4 you guys start saying that I'm acting up because of my age this is a day in my life.
My mother gets mad when I go out and 12 am is too late for someone 2 come in. The other day I went to the mall and when I got home she started to beat me with a stick.
I lost my virginity at 19 with a guy I been with for 2 years and not only did she break that relationship up, she consistently calls me a slut.
My mother has figured out my passwords, read my emails, gone through my stuff, rippped up my clothes that she didn't approve.
we have 2 go 2 church at the church that she attends and there is no such thing as freedom of religion.
My father (the sane one) let me have his car, while he's gone (travels alot) and my mother has stolen the car keys.
I try to please my mother but nothing works, she has said she will disown me if I move out. I want 2 go but I don't want her 2 hate me
2006-06-23 20:08:41 · 12 answers · asked by SexyChocolate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What do I do?
2006-06-23 20:08:56 · update #1
Sometimes, you just have to go. You can't live your mothers life for all of yours. You are 20 yrs old...it's time to get out and figure out what YOU want in life. She might be upset, but chances are, she won't really disown you.
2006-06-23 20:16:09 · answer #1 · answered by Allison P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the age of 20 you can make that decision anytime you like. In fact you have little choice if you intend to maintain sanity and long term health. So you must make a plan, give an explanation (even though it won't be warmly accepted), don't yell or be confrontational, and control your facial expressions, and then move to a pre-planned destination. Continue to 'attempt' nice things for your mother, kind words, whatever you can do to convey a feeling that you accept her (even though she may not return that same feeling) and hope that time will cure the tension and though not bring you back under the same roof, that it may bring you back in each other's hearts.
2006-06-23 20:17:14 · answer #2 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a 'bar,' or a number of. in case you've not any, take deep breaths through out the bypass. once you're moved in, smoke some weed this nighttime and relax, understanding the hardest component to transferring is over.
2016-11-15 04:53:18 · answer #3 · answered by poissant 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HHmmm......first I would suggest that you remember that everyone goes through this..and that includes your Mom. I'll sum up what could be a long answer this way: In any relatioship honest and open is the one critical ingrediant, and sadly, it's the one that we often leave out the most often. I would wager that you have not calmly talked.i mean really talked...with your FEELINGS to her at all have you? She knows that you want to move out but it sounds like she is afraid of you leaving, either for concern for you, or out of fear of loneleness. Bottom line, she is afraid. I once read in Conversations With God that anger is "fear announced." Dwell on that a moment. Remember that in the moment of a confrontation and you will maintain control of the situation. and um....yes, it's time to move out girl! So talk to her, keep the high ground, and you'll come out allright, I promise.
2006-06-23 20:23:57 · answer #4 · answered by tjcsonofallnations 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is abusive and pathologically controlling. It sounds like she may be seriously mentally ill. You may not realize it but she is damaging you psychologically every day you spend with her.
You say yourself that you're ready to move out. You have a complete and total right to live your own life. You have a right to move out on your own.
I say move out and let the chips fall where they may. You can't spend your life managing your mom. You must lead your own life. My guess is that the disowning thing is an empty threat. Even if it's not you're better off outside of her control and influence.
Being an adult involves making tough choices and living with them. You have a tough choice in front of you. Do you live your life trying to please your abusive, probably severely mentally ill mother, or do you strike out on your own and become your own person?
I say move out and don't look back.
2006-06-23 20:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by Dave R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear you have so many troubles with your mom. She couldn't possibly hate you for moving out. The anger will eventually pass after some time. Try to be patient with your mother and make peace. The sooner you move out, the better. Don't forget to keep in touch, though. Good luck.
2006-06-23 20:15:55 · answer #6 · answered by autumn leaf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I'd say way passed time to get your own place. What are you waiting for, her to abuse you some more?
Let her disown you, will you die? No, you will live a happy probably healthier life.
Let her hate you, will you die? You get where I'm going here.
Assert yourself, it's time for you to start your life, and she may just respect you a little more for it. Once she gets over herself, of course. And that is what she needs to do, get over herself.
This is about her wanting to control you, grow up, move away, and learn how it feels to hang around sane people.
2006-06-23 20:12:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. Leave as soon as possible. Your mother is abusive and is hurting you in more way than one. You can't change her and you can't go on living like this. You are old enough to make it on your own, and you would be better off without her trying to control your life and messing it up.
2006-06-23 20:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by brand_new_monkey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 20? Geez go ahead and 'free' yourself, no sense living like that everyday! If your mom disowns you, so be it, it's her loss not yours.(BTW...you can CHANGE your passwords!)
2006-06-23 20:16:03 · answer #9 · answered by MC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your knickers off and leave home baby - join the REAL world
2006-06-23 20:16:57 · answer #10 · answered by M.B. G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋