I've lived in a 3 flat building five years. My downstairs neighbor, whom no one really knows, has lived here 12 years. According to other neighbors, they rarely see her, she has no visitors, other than maintenance, and no social visits.
When she does leave, it's early morning or late at night, according to the few who happen to run into her. During those times she was seen with groceries. So I guess she shops late hours. I know it's wrong for me to be in her business, since it doesn't concern me, but you can't help but wonder about someone like this.
The three times I've seen her, she seems nice and polite, but nervous, soft spoken, and quick to end the conversation. What could be the problem? Would it be wrong for me to stop by just to say hello? Out of the 12 years she has lived here, no one knows her well, or has talked to her longer than a few seconds. Not even the neighbors who have lived here longer than her. What could be wrong with her? She looks fine, but quiet.
2006-06-23 19:25:56 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
she likes privacy
2006-06-23 19:28:51 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa D 4 · 6⤊ 2⤋
Maybe she had some traumatic experience that makes her afraid to get to know people, or just simply doesn't want to get to know anyone. Some people just seem to not care to make friends, but personally, I think they're just covering up - it's human nature to want to be liked and have people to socialize with, at least to some degree. If it were me, I would send her a card in the mail.. nothing serious, just kind of to say hello and let her know you're there if she ever needs anything. (I was a little unclear on whether you wanted to reach out to her or just wondered what was up, but if it me, I'd want to reach out.) Since she hasn't been hostile, maybe she's just incredibly shy or self conscious. She could also have a mental problem. There's really no way to tell.
2006-06-23 20:16:44 · answer #2 · answered by pandasage1221 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Aw, that is very sad but she probably has a fear of people or something, she has probably had trauma in her life. You should try and make friends with her, maybe you can help her with whatever is wrong or at least give her some company. If she doesn't want to talk when you approach her then just back off but keep being friendly if you ever see her again. I hope that things get better for her because she definitely is a very sad person.
2006-06-23 19:33:15 · answer #3 · answered by Cajirenee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is possible she has agoraphobia (a fear of being in public) or social anxiety disorder. I've lived with social anxiety disorder for quite a while. I hate to leave the house, and it is still hard for me to socialize with people. If it hadn't been for my brother, who made me go places with him and open up, who dragged me to my feet when I was down, I probably would still be pretty bad off. Try at first maybe bringing her some cookies or something nice like that: invite her to a lot of social events if you can: make her feel welcome. When she comes, notice her, introduce her to people, have her sit with you and your family, etc. don't be too intrusive, and try and be thoughtful and kind. Try and be a friend and help her out. Don't dismiss her as just that crazy lady in the building, because she'll probably end up that way if no one tries to be her friend.
Social Anxiety is hard. It is like living in a constant nightmare: all you have to do to be afraid is go outside your door, or look out your window and there is your worst fear. It is all around you.
2006-06-23 20:59:03 · answer #4 · answered by musikgeek 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
you've 2 options. both to stay there or change the abode. replacing the abode is the most a lot less complicated one. yet that's no longer the best. To proceed staying there peacefully is the hardest. For this you require to win over the neibhours and lead them to as freindly as they were 12 years decrease back. Going to police would yeild some result for some days. yet which will in uncomplicated phrases strengthen their animosity. you've informed that till the distinct they were very close and pleasant to you. which skill, they were agitated over your mum's distinct. One reason will be, that they have regards for your father a lot more advantageous than to you or for your mum. 2d, they imagine that the distinct befell because of the fault of your mom. third, they view a diversed female living next door as a taboo. Fourth, they'd were antogonised adverse to you thru your estranged father. even if will be the reason, you need to win over them lower back. For this you need to rearrange a third social gathering very on the brink of you to boot as to them. enable them clarify the reason of your mum's distinct in favour of her. it will be finished in 2-3 visits through the third social gathering. Afterwards in presence of the third social gathering you also might want to visit them and ernestly request them to be pleasant as you've been previously the distinct. somewhat of sobing and breking down is critical. After that invite them for your position for a social gathering of a few variety. it really is okay if no longer something is there as to have a good time. deal with them nicely. the following also little bit of hugging and sobing will completely in good structure into the position. continually praise them nicely putting forward that how chuffed you've been at the same time as both neibhours were pleasant and take a vow that we are going to by no skill section company lower back so.. so.. i imagine, you understood all. in the experience that they are people, they are going to definetly turn!
2016-11-15 04:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by poissant 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she's been hurt , maybe she has a anxiety with people , so she dosent go out in public when there is large amounts of people .. I bet she grocery shops at night if she can ..i also assume after a couple years doing this and avoiding whatever group activities her friends did eventually they lost touch with her and she has no other outlets outside her apartment to meet new people . I would think it would be nice to stop by with some kind of treat ... see how it plays out ..couldent hurt
2006-06-23 19:46:45 · answer #6 · answered by insertstrawhere 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it could be that she has an anxiety disorder, and that being around people makes her have panic attacks. ihave an anxiety disorder, and it can feel like your dying at times. it may be that she desires friends, but she literally fears for her life in certain situations. alot of anxieties can be handled by just talking them out, but the person has to be willing to take that step. try approaching her a little at a time, possibly bringing her a sandwich, or a good book, and leaving it with a little note at her door.when shes ready, and feels not threatned by the outside world, she will approach you.-- and youll maybe make a new friend. sometimes you just have to follow gods instincts, and reach out without judgement, and accept people , flaws and all.
2006-06-23 19:38:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you might try it once but if it seems to really stress her out try something a little less pushy a simple note ....a few times just talking about you so she feels she knows you...I think there is most assuredly a reason for her staying in her own world and sometimes you don't ever figure out why... One thing I know is no-one wants to be all alone but if your in it to help great, if it's just curiosity leave it alone... She doesn't need to be bothered unless you truly have an interest in knowing her..
2006-06-23 19:36:55 · answer #8 · answered by Angel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she looks fine, and healthy, but nervous and keeps to herself, she may be dealing with some type of anxiety problem. Or maybe she's just a loner who likes her privacy. Nothing wrong with that. If it were drugs, she'd have traffic coming in and out of her place. Druggies can't keep a low profile for 12 years.
2006-06-23 19:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
She might just be shy or running from the law or maybe she's a writer or maybe she's just a very private person. Remember when you go to her door,your in her territory,your not out on the sidewalk. You need to respect her wishes if she is not open to your visit. You'll never know if you don't try.Good luck she might become your new best friend.
2006-06-23 20:01:31 · answer #10 · answered by jean 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it could be a lot of things. Maybe she is just really really shy. Or maybe she is afraid of being robbed or something. Or it could be that maybe she has some kind of social disorder and is afraid of social interaction. I think maybe you should try to visit her once just to see how she reacts and what happens. Maybe noone has ever tried to have any kind of relationship with her before. It might help her. Good luck! :-)
2006-06-23 19:35:58 · answer #11 · answered by Ex-Blondie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋