How can you teach your child to be independent and to love who they are?

Answer 1

Cool question. I have 3 boys who are becoming fine young men, independent and self confident and I don't really remember how I learned these simple guidelines but here goes:

1)Praise your childrens accomplishments. Whether it is learning to take that first step, mastering the writing of the number 2, even up to learning how to drive a car and beyond. Tell them you are proud of them and they should be proud of themselves for their accomplishments.

2)Pick your fights. In other words, don't be overly critical of everything your child does. Children attempt to do things on their own and while their reasoning may be correct, the methods they employ may not be. Suggest alternative methods but don't demand they do anything a certain way. One major caveat to this rule is that if what they are doing is dangerous, you MUST intervene and show them how and why what they are doing is dangerous.

3) Don't be afraid. This one was especially helpful when it came time for school and at the pool. Give the child a little space. Let him or her develop independence naturally. Be vigilant, but don't be afraid and cling too tight.

4)Set a good example. Everything your child will become takes root in your household. Watch what you say in front of the children and watch what you do because they WILL say and do the very same things.

Answer 2

I think my mom did a fantastic job by being very strict as far as letting us know we would be disowned if we did drugs, got arrested, got pregnant or got a tattoo (go figure on the last one!) and we pretty much knew she meant it -- so we stayed on the straight path pretty much and stuck up for ourselves against peer pressure.

On the academics and achievement end, she said she didn't really care what grades we got as long as we were decent, moral, helathy people -- that we would live with the consequences of how much we decided to achieve.... and guess what, we weren't straight A students, but we ended up working at places like the White House, CNN, high levels of govt and corporations -- and we (my 3 sisters and I) all married great guys and have adorable kids.

So good to see a mom like you that really cares and wants to do her best -- be strict, strict, strict (none of this "friends with my kids" BS) and trust me, it will feel like they hate you until the day they mature and you have strong, healthy, confident and accomplished adults seeking you out for more advice and to share fun time with you

Answer 3

Whenever possible let them make the choice. Give them chores so they learn the value of hard work. Praise them when they do a good job. Let them explore their own interests, not yours. Tell them it's ok to be different. Try to set a good example and most of all love them unconditionally.

Answer 4

Just let them be you there are. I set my kids parameters according to what I need to tell them.
"Don't touch that ! It's hot!"
"Brush your teeth, and take a bath!"
" Get to bed. You have school tomorrow."

But I did not force religion, although I talked about it. I did not force a fashion sense. I allowed my kids to decide what they wanted to wear to school. (believe me, I was very embarrassed, sometimes!) I did not curb their language, as I was a very colorful individual myself. (but they were schooled by my husband and I how to be appropriate in different settings)Most of all, being available.

I am not talking about, you think you are there for your kids because you are willing to talk. I am saying, coach the sports team, volunteer at the school, host a sleep-over. For kids to love themselves and become indepedant takes involved parents. Children who don't have committed parents cling to anything that offer solace.

Answer 5

Dont smother them by doing everything for them. They should have responsibilities as they are able to handle them. Not too easy to bore them......and hard enough to give them pride in accomplishment. Throw in some minor obstacles of problem solving, simply for learning good lessons via the best teacher........experience!

Answer 6

Get them into activities. First answer was pretty good too. But the arts help. Writing, reading, poetry, drawing, etc.

Answer 7

weeelllll...support them and what they like. Compliment them when they do well. Don't judge them on something just because you don't like it if they're not doing anything to harm themself. Love them. Try to think before you get angry at them and decide if it's worth it.

Answer 8

By example, children live what they learn.

Answer 9

Start by keeping them away from the church.

Answer 10

Don't tell them what to do.