sexually abused?

Question

anyone here been sexually abused at very young age and 27 years later still think bout it?? Is that normal or should I have gotten over it by now??

Answer 1

What you're experiencing is very normal. It will be with you the rest of your life. Unless you decide that once and for all those slimeballs are not going to ruin it for you!

I'm speaking from a perspective very like yours. There's a certain former boyscout master who I dreamed of- well, hurting BADLY so he won't have any such thoughts again- for a very long time. And this piece of filth used other kids too. However, he would do well to avoid his former haunts now!

These days I am now happily married, and while I have no kids of my own I get to enjoy spoiling my pets and my nephews.

Answer 2

It is SO normal not to "get over it" (which unfortunately is what most people always seem to tell us to do! So irritating .. ) How can we get over it without resolving that huge mess of hurt and confusion and betrayal and anger and all the other emotional distress? It's not something that can just be forgotten. It can be repressed, pushed down, but then it stays there like acid to poison other aspects of our lives as we grow up. People who tell you to get over it, forget about it etc. are speaking from ignorance or total insensitivity or perhaps they too have gone through something similar and don't want you to express it cos then they fear they might have to deal with their own issues.

I'm a survivor in my 40s now, I started facing up to my childhood abuse about 6 years ago and my life is SO DIFFERENT .. transformed and so much better. There are still wounds to heal, and probably even if all the wounds are healed there will still always be the scars, but I have learnt and am still learning that there are ways to accept myself and resolve parts of my past and move on to a better fuller life.

I also work with survivors of child abuse (it's all totally free so please don't think this is a promo) and have a free online group for survivors where we work on self-help skills and working through the long-term effects of child abuse. Please join it if you want to, it's totally anonymous. I've also got a website with some information. (Put their links below). There are support groups in the US/UK etc that you can join. I'm in India and there is practically NOTHING for survivors here. One of the best programs I've come across is ASCA in the USA, its website is www.ascasupport.org they have meetings in California, NY, Illinois as far as I know, maybe other places too and their website has an amazing amount of information for survivors looking to understand and help themselves. There are also some really good books on the subject, the best I've read is called The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis.

I've found that being in a group really helps because it's such a huge relief to find that there are others with the same feelings and fears and that all these feelings are normal.

Answer 3

Its hard to get over something like that. I had a bad incident at one time and I still haven't gotten over it. I have forgiven but not forgotten. This haunts me every single day for the last 5 years. I don't know why I can't get over it. You went though a very complicated situation that it scarred you for life and this will take a while to heal and make peace with yourself. You may never forget though. It is normal though to feel the way you are feeling.

Answer 4

I was sexually abused at a very young age by my grandfather. I just recently had a little girl and I was afraid that she was going to be hurt by him so I told my mom what had happened and now I am in counseling. I am 21 years old now and I thought about it everyday and I still think about it everyday. I am trying to take the right steps to heal myself, but it is hard. They say time heals all wounds, but I do not agree. I think that you may need to talk to someone and begin the psycological healing process. I do not think that you will ever forget, but you can understand.

Answer 5

It will never go away as such but you will learn to live with it so that you can cope with memories.

It is very common to suddenly suffer flashbacks or feel the hurt resume after a long period of time. And when this happens then you need help to help you cope with the present.

Contact an abuse survivor group where you will find people like yourself who can relate to your pain, time since the abuse took place and provide support. They will show you empathy and that is what you need at the moment.

Best wishes

Answer 6

I have never been sexually abused.

If you have been and are only thinking about it now, you should be seeking supportive counselling through a competent therapist.

Don't let anybody tell you that you should have gotten over it. There are some things people find difficult to get over, and this is entirely up to you and you know what you need the best.

Answer 7

I would be amazed if you simply got over it,,, Yes I was I am 45 and still working on it ... Hopefully I am in a better place after much help but it doesn't go away ... In fact the chances of your having problems later on in a much bigger scale is high... I hope you seek help and God to aide you in getting over that... God Bless and keep you... Angel

Answer 8

It takes a lot of time to get over a thing like that it really depends on how bad the situation was. I hope that you can get over it soon. Maybe you should talk to a counselor. What about getting hypnotized to help you get over it? God bless you and may you come to peace with your mind soon!

Answer 9

Sexual Abuse can cause a range of psychological disorders from anxiety disorders to personality disorders to dissociative disorders you might consider speaking to a therapist if belive it has had a lasting effect on you.

Answer 10

if you never dealt with it you probably will not have gotten over it. so no, it is not abnormal to not have gotten over it. there are stories of people that did not even realize they had been abused until middle adulthood.