I just found out my mom is a lesbian and I don't know what to do. Its REALLY wierd. And I still have a while before I can move out. Should I tell her that I know? Or should I live these last years with her and not say anything?
2006-06-23 18:53:57 · 18 answers · asked by DeAd DiScO 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Its not like I have anything against lesbians/gays. The biggest issue is who she's seeing. It was a STUDENT of hers a couple years ago. She's closer to my age.
2006-06-23 19:00:27 · update #1
If she were MY mom, I'd ask her. In a NICE way, mind you! I'd say what I've been noticing, and then I'd point-blank say, "So because I've seen all of this [whatever] lately, it occurred to me that you might be a Lesbian. Are you? Cuz it's OK with me if you are!" (Try to say that it's OK even if it isn't 100% OK with you. Because it's better if she thinks that you're not hostile to her or all freaked out or traumatized.)
2006-06-23 19:02:13 · answer #1 · answered by Cyn 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything until she brings it up - when's she's ready to tell you she will. And when she does - you can tell her that you know and how you found out and it will be a great bonding experience for you. I can understand the weirdness - It would be really weird if I found out my mom was a lesbian. It wouldn't be a big deal, but it would definitely be something that I'd have to get used to.
And no - life's awkward situations never end. I asked someone the other day if she was one of my customer's mom and she was his sister. I felt really bad!
2006-06-24 01:59:23 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Melissa♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its bothering you, you definitely need to talk to her. I can imagine how awkward it must feel for you, but I know people who are gay, and at the end of the day, they are just people. And this is your mom...remember this is the person who gave you life and will love you unconditionally for the rest of your life...don't let this change the way you feel about your mother. She must have been living this lifestyle for a while before you found out--before you knew everything was fine right? Has your mother really changed or has just what you thought of your mom was changed?
Definitely talk to her. I'm sure she is probably trying to think of a way to tell you but is unsure of how you will react and is probably very scared of you turning against her. You both will feel much better if you get this out in the open.
2006-06-24 02:02:29 · answer #3 · answered by Hula Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's still the mom you love. Her sexual preferance doesn't change that. Yes, tell her that you know....the more open dialog you keep with her will only bring you closer as mother and daughter, and give you a greater understanding of her situation. Once you get over the shock (yes you're allowed a reaction), don't let this put a strain on the two of you. It would break both your hearts. Acceptance is awesome.
2006-06-24 02:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by Justlookin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be open and be honest. Wouldn't you want to be able to tell someone if you had a secret like that? If you don't want to know, stick your head in the sand, I have seen so many situations that were solved like that. Let me see.... there was that time... no that didn't work.... oh but then there was..... no that didn't work either. I am sure that there are some examples of the ostrich thing working.
2006-06-24 01:58:37 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom became a lesbian too, but it was just a phase!
When i went on a 3 week christian mission trip to India, it made her question her faith while worrying about me.
Your mom just finds comfort in women, she is probably not Gay!
Good luck though!
It is very awkward!
2006-06-24 02:57:58 · answer #6 · answered by happymrzot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. She will figure out that you know or suspect that you know. Ignoring it will only make things more awkward around the house for you. If it really is an issue with you, could you go live with your father? Or another relative? But, please talk to her about it.
2006-06-24 01:57:56 · answer #7 · answered by mopargrapeape 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally wouldn't mention it because her love life is her decision and a private one. However if her partner would act inappropriate to you I would then otherwise I'd leave it alone and not mention it to anyone else.
2006-06-24 02:04:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, what's the big deal? Second, you don't know for sure until you talk to her; you can only assume until then. So if you want to know for sure, talk with her about it. I'm sure she'll be relieved to not have to hide it anymore, if that is the case.
2006-06-24 01:57:17 · answer #9 · answered by John J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her sexual orientation isnt near as lousy has having a relationship with someone close to your own age.
I would definitely speak with her. You both may learn something of life's sticky situations...........AND each other. :)
2006-06-24 02:44:48 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋