2006-06-23 17:36:01 · 11 answers · asked by simplybonnie 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Recognizing the fact that your needs weren't met is a big first step in resolving the problem. Obviously, you can't go back and change history, and unhappily, too many people go through life seeking the love they didn't get as a child. Too often, they accept it from the wrong person, for the wrong reasons.
You have identified a problem, now you want to move on to resolving it. First, accept that this is the way things are. There is nothing you can do about that.
Second, identify people in your life today who do meet your emotional needs. Are you married? Do you have a loving spouse? Do you have siblings? Any relatives who were influential in your life? Emotional support can be drawn from many sources.
The important thing now is to draw a line under the past, and turn your thoughts to the future. Sometimes people who have suffered emotional trauma in their childhood go through life saying, "Poor me," which is terribly unproductive.
If you feel overwhelmed by the task of re-aligning your life, think about getting counselling. That's what counsellors are for. It isn't a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength that you can recognize the need to get help, and go find it. That's a positive step, and one which may help you towards a full recovery.
I empathize with your problem and hope you will be successful in resolving it -- because it can be resolved. You still have the rest of your life ahead of you. Don't waste it by letting your emotions become numbed or stifled because of your past.
Good luck to you.
2006-06-23 17:45:57 · answer #1 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to reword the problem to show more reality. Like you as a child weren't really in need of such and such and then you were simply left out. When you were shown adult life you realized you were an outsider all your life just as some others were. Don't expect to develop needs instantly as many others did long ago. Your life is still worth living as you see fit. Only you know what makes you happy.
2006-06-23 18:11:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well good for you for realising that. That's the first step. Getting past it is a whole bunch of other steps that can start with talking and resolving those childhood issues with a good therapist or counselor. As a survivor of child abuse myself, I've learned that it's not much use dwelling on it and blaming everything that happens to me now, on my past, because then there is no way forward and I just stay stuck in that rut. But it's also not much use DENYING that my childhood wasn't as nurturing as it should have been. We need to express, not repress, our feelings about our childhood, and once we've done that, we can find life becomes lighter and easier.
You are an adult now, and one thing you can do is parent yourself and give yourself the nurturing and emotional care that you didn't receive earlier. This may sound corny but I believe it's at the heart of healing and moving on.
You haven't specified what your childhood issues were but there are places online that can give you more direction. ASCA is a US based support group that has an excellent self-help program, they're at www.ascasupport.org, and I follow their program in my online group (India based) for survivors of child abuse . Yahoo Groups has a lot of support groups if you search around. And ivillage.com has some really good message boards in their Health section. You're sure to find lots of support and information and ideas in one of these places. You're welcome to join my group, it's totally free, and anonymous. I've put the link below.
2006-06-24 09:34:30 · answer #3 · answered by askios007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to understand what is the current problem due to your childhood. Is it that you cannot forgive or is it that you cannot relate to others.
If its the forgiveness thing, the most difficult thing to do is to just let go. You cannot change the past, so forget about it. For your own personal well being. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
If its that you cannot relate to others because you did not develope the skills, then there's only one way to learn the skills. Start talking to people. Volunteer to help the elderly or handicapped. These people are waiting for someone to spend time with them. You may find that you help them overcome loneliness while they help you develope people skills.
If you can afford it, get some type of professional counseling as well.
2006-06-23 17:44:38 · answer #4 · answered by Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
join the club (:
why dont u try chasing this idea out of ur head?
u cant control the past's events or judge them with ur mind now.
just try indulging in something else, work, study, or any thing to make u overcome such a state.
2006-06-23 17:49:26 · answer #5 · answered by MiMi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quit blaming others for your lack of heart ... do yourself a favor... rise up above the emotional nonsense... in the world we live in weak people have no chance
2006-06-23 17:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not too well, emotionally unstable as an adult
2006-06-23 17:38:41 · answer #7 · answered by Emily L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should see a therapist or counselor who would be able to help you w/this issue.
2006-06-23 17:40:03 · answer #8 · answered by Soniamariet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to college and stay there until you die or are emotional healthy
2006-06-23 17:42:48 · answer #9 · answered by christopher m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...quit whining you big baby... and get over it!!! Perhaps, an inflatable play-mate, may be just the ticket!
2006-06-23 17:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋