Why do we hear this more and more?

Question

My cousin came to my house yesterday and told me she's pregnant. She's 14!!!! Apparently, she doesn't even know who the father of her child is. It could be 1 out of 5 different guys? I'm extremely disgusted about this. Her mom had warning over a year ago that she was sleeping around. Her dad lives in another state so her mom could've easl=ily sent her to live with her dad. I mean, this girl has already contracted an STD, she's been pregnant once before but miscarried. I think that's just disgusting!!!! I got pregnant when I was 17. I was on birth control and I was only with 1 man; we're still together and have another child now. My question is, who do we blame for all this and why are these young girls doing it? I mean seriously, you can't even work making more than minimum wage at 14. My fiance and I BOTH worked when I got pregnant. I know a lot of people say it's society. tv etc. Do parents really get so blind sighted that they can't see that their daughter's are messing around?

I finished high school!!! I finished in january, had my daughter in april, then went to graduation in june. I have also been with this man for 4 years. He wasn't someone I had just met. My fiance and I TOLD her mother the way she was acting 2 years ago. She was having sex then. I think there's a little bit of a difference between living under your parents roof and having sex and then living on your own and having sex. I moved in with my fiance at 17. May not seem like the best thing for all of you but you don't know the whole story behind that!!!

She and I had talked at my daughter's birthday party. I told her that my fiance and I might have had a baby before we should have, but she didn't need to. It wasn't my place to teach her right from wrong, I thought that was a parent's responsibility? I did what I could by telling her mom but o well I guess. She'll have to carry that burden around with her.

Please don't judge me for having sex before I was married. I'm getting married as soon as we can afford it. I've only been with my fiance. We've been planning on getting married for the past 2 years but things keep happening out of our control.

They couldn't live together. Her dad caught her mom in a motel room with another man. He pushed her so she got a restraining order against him.

Answer 1

This kind of stuff makes me sad. Not for the girls getting pregnant but for the children that they bring into the world. I do not look down on you, although you were 17 when you got pregnant, because you and your fiance stepped up and took care of yourselves and the child. This girl isn't even old enough to get a job to take care of herself and she doesn't even know who the father is. That's crazy. It's sad to see our children going down this path and bringing children into the world that they don't want or can't take care of.

It was not your responsibility to teach her right from wrong, you told the mother and it was up to her from that point to do something about it.

Answer 2

Ding dong... #1 culprit, the parents. The buck stops at the parents, but with that said, parents can only do so much. We can teach our sons and daughters all the 'right' things to do in life and tell them everyday, but it's up to the child to be able to accept the words of the parents. How can you prevent a daughter from taking a day off from school, go to the park with a boy, and get pregnant? You can't because if a child's mind is willing, the body will go.

As long as the parents are truthful about doing the best they can and no better, then it's just a matter of circumstances...

Answer 3

Its a combination of things. Schools cant teach sex ed properly, they can only teach abstinance in most schools. They can not go into details, they just have to dance around the subject. Whats on TV and in movies and music videos encouragest them. Parents can preach no sex until they are blue in the face. My parents didnt make it a big deal, but didnt condem it either. They expressed the wait until marriage, but even in the 70s that wasnt happening.

I honestly think that the FDA should start looking into the hormones that are in the food we eat. They give growth hormones to cows, pigs and chickens in the feed they give them to make them grow bigger and faster. Same with the fertilizer in vegetables. Look at how girls are starting to develop larger breasts than in the 80s and before. Girls are starting their periods younger and younger. Kids are becoming sexually active younger than before because their hormones are becoming stronger sooner.

Who do you blame? The parents because they are not involved in her life. She is seeking attention from boys because her father isnt there. She is not getting properly educated about sex or life in general apparently. She is old enough to make the conscious decision to or not to have sex. They all need some counseling. They probably have the "It wont happen to me or my kid" mentality, but its too late now.

1 in 4 sexually active women will contract HPV, the virus that leads to cervical cancer and genital warts. Apparently it has already become an addiction and she really needs addiction therapy if she had sex with 5 guys in a time span where she got pregnant.

I just hope that someone will step in and take over raising that child. A 14 year old has no business taking care of a child. I had a friend get pregnant in 8th grade at 13. She never finished school and ended up having to let her mother take care of her because she was so self obsorbed in her own life and habits.

Answer 4

I can see why it's so easy to blame the mom since the child's father isn't around but I think that's the reason. Daddy wasn't there and she seems to be looking for a daddy. Granted not all marriages are hunky dory but what ever happened to putting your kids first? Ok so the marriage sucked. Why can't two MATURE adults live in the same home for the children's sake? Have a truce bonded tight with the love of the children. We have two households under one roof. My husband and I have separate bedrooms and lives BUT we still have our kids in the same house with both mom and dad. No fighting or bickering in front of the kids allowed. We go on "dates" for that. LOL.

Answer 5

A lot of parents are more into their own life these days then their kids'. I think thats a lot of the problem these days. Another reason is she could be totally in denial of what was going on. Maybe she was on drugs....j/k At any rate if her mother even suspected it, the responsible thing would have been to get her on birth contol. I am disgusted to hear of situations of this sort. It's a drain on our society and public programs.

Answer 6

The problem is not that society pushes sex, it's that society and parents are in denial about the fact that teenage girls have sex drives. Canada is about to make an epochal mistake by raising its age of consent from 14 to 16, trying to appease right-wing idiots. What we need is not sexual more repression, but sexual education combined with more assertive and aware parenting.

Answer 7

At 14, five different possibilities, very scary. The parents and the social surroundings are to blame, a combination of the two. I can't tell her or her family how to fix this except to say she should raise her child differently, talk to them, let them talk to you and farmost important is to trust no matter what, because if you begin your child's life by trusting them, they will always feel safe and loved and they will trust you in return.

Answer 8

Blame the Mother. Parents are too selfish to parent anymore. I would have kicked her butt. I would have kicked YOUR butt-- you could have been a role model, but you got knocked up before you finished high school too. Oh- and the fact that you now have TWO bastards? Sorry, you are the pot calling your cousin the kettle. Shut up, your ability to judge ended long ago, miss self-righteous!

Answer 9

hmmm....i blame society for pushing sex so much. Think about it, turn on the radio-sex, turn on the tv-sex, go outside-sex in billboards. I mean, these kids are being bombarded with sex, sex, sex that they are curious. I do not, or will ever support sex before marriage, but yeah....that's your answer. Society is the reason for all of that happening. God bless you and have a great day!

Answer 10

Don't blame her parents! At 14, you may not be mature enough to make the RIGHT decisions, but you are old enough to make your own decisions anyway. Parents, teachers and other role models can get their 2 cents in, but the kid may still not listen. It couldn't possibly be the s*** that's on TV, huh?