He is serperated from his wife. And the bad thing about it is that I had a big crush on him before he got married.
2006-06-23 16:19:56 · 24 answers · asked by deirdre_trammell 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I will keep my answer short and to the point. NO. And, if you will really look inside..you know this NO answer already. I suppose that is why you're asking here..if you can find someone to say Yes... then you can justify making the decision to let him stay. But you really know...deep in there somewhere...this is not a good idea. He needs to get through this relationship...whatever that means. If he ends up separated and therefore, not involved...then that is a much healthier place for a relationship to start, for you.
2006-06-23 16:32:41 · answer #1 · answered by ikrav 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If he's a friend, it's not bad in theory to help him. The thing is you already know you have feelings for him, and right now he's going to probably be very vulnerable, which means, if he thinks you're receptible to something, he may very well go for it. Problem with that, there's a good chance he could reconcile with the wife, which would leave you hurt and the friendship irrevocably damaged. If he really is a friend, just be blunt and adress this with him, and he'll understand.
2006-06-23 16:32:38 · answer #2 · answered by irish_diabhal_79 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to be "second choice"? Don't try to explain away what this says. Sure, you may be friends and all, but you are an idiot if you think he doesn't know you once had a "crush" on him. There is a reason he is not with his wife, "it takes two to make it, two to break it" Be smart, don't get involved with this, you will regret it big-time. Let him work out whatever he needs to work out, in whatever time he needs. If he goes back to his wife, fine, if not fine, but do not allow yourself to be used. It is simple, he married her, not you. Doesn't that tell you something?
2006-06-23 16:28:44 · answer #3 · answered by jv1104 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. If he is your friend as you claim you should help him out. Bringing a relationship into the picture is a whole different situation. Separation usually leads to divorce. So that being said make sure you don't have any sexual relations or be seen in public hugging. Divorce will not go smoothly if that happens, guilty party. If you are remaining friends then yes definitely help him out (as long as its not an inconvenience to you).
Peace
Matt
2006-06-23 16:27:21 · answer #4 · answered by MastaP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't initiate anything.
If he's feeling the infidelity thing... well, then you decide then and there.
But your feelings for him should be strong enough to respect him. He didn't marry you, (sorry to be so blunt :( It's just fact), so you shouldn't automatically feel like he's now going to run to you for his second marriage.
Care for him enough to read his signals and hear him when he talks.
If he divorces... THEN do what you need to do to get your long-time crush.
But he's just seperated. This is probably not a time he wants to sleep with a zillion people before returning back home.
2006-06-23 16:25:22 · answer #5 · answered by Alicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked the question because you have a little doubt bothering you. Of course that is your conscience clearing its throat trying to get your attention. Terrible to eat german chocolate cake and feel guilty about it. German chocolate just doesn't taste as good if you feel conflicted about eating it. The problem is that even though it is said that morals are relative, nobody ever figured out a way to reprogram the conscience. Down deep we know what is right and wrong, don't we?
2006-06-23 16:41:41 · answer #6 · answered by pshdsa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I do. If he has not closed one door he can not open another. If he does each door will be half open and he will move on to another until someone step up to the plate and tell him to close the first door or either go back and work it out. No relationship is perfect but being the other women you will never feel he is giving you his all or what is rightfully owed to you. Unless you are not ready for a committed relationship.
2006-06-23 16:25:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes beucz you dont want to get in the mix ifyall have something going on but i think that you should let him stay a little while and then just tell him that it is just too much and then say that your boyfriend or brother is coming over and he is going to have a big fit if he sees you
hope it works
2006-06-23 16:25:30 · answer #8 · answered by Brittany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong to help a friend out when he needs a place to stay. Just make sure that until he either reconciles with his wife or gets a divorce you do not mess around with him. If you want a relationship with him and you want it to mean something, you need to make sure he is divorced and moved on from his wife.
2006-06-23 16:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just play it safe. He is on the rebound and you admit that you have feelings for him in the past. I would let him know that he needs to make sure separation is what he really wants. Things are bound to happen between the two of you. Innocence leads to destruction.
2006-06-23 16:25:00 · answer #10 · answered by Angels girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋