Anyone with any good jokes? Nothing stupid please.?

Answer 1

i just received this joke from a text message..

there is this boyfriend and girlfriend..
bf: "hon, let's do 69!"
gf: "what is 69?"
bf: "it's easy.."

then they positioned theirselves..
while in that position, the boy farted 4 times..

then the girl reacted and said "omg! i cant do this anymore! i cant take anymore the remaining 65!"

lolz..

Answer 2

I'm trying to figure out the joke posted by mum of 4. I hope she can email me her answer.
Here's a joke posted by someone in this site. This is only part of his jokes about churuch notices:

(1)" Tuesday 4pm, there will be an ice-cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early."

(2) "This afternoon there will be meetings in the south and north ends of the the church. Children will be baptised at both ends".

Answer 3

Jill was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. She stopped to give the old woman a lift .With a silent nod of thanks , the woman got into the car .Resuming the journey , Jill tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman .The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every detail, until,she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Jill."What in bag?" asked the old woman . Jill looked down at the brown bag and said,"It's a bottle of wine.I got it for my husband".The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said "Good Trade".

Answer 4

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Answer 5

> > A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...
> >
> > She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her
>immediately.
> >
> > She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to
>hers.
> > As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
> > "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both
> > hands.
> > "Actually, no," he replied.
> > "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running
>her
> > hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
> > "I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I
>can
> > do?"
> > "Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running
>her
> > forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of
>her
> > fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
> > "What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
> > "Tell him," she whispered,
> >
> > "There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies
> > room."

Answer 6

See If You Can Figure Out What These Words Have In Common.......
Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Voodoo
Assess
-
-
Are You Peeking Or Have You Already Given Up?
-
Give It Another Try....
-


Contact me for the answer... if you can't figure it out. (Now I can't just post the answer can I? Then people would cheat! lol)

Answer 7

What did the bus driver say to the black man when he took a ****?


"That will be an extra $1.50 for your son sir"

Answer 8

Q: what do you do to an elephant with 3 balls?
A: walk him and pitch to the rhino.

Answer 9

Newton's Law of girl friends
LOVE CAN NEIGHTER BE CREATED NOR BE DESTROYED,IT CAN ONLY BE CHANGED FROM ONE GIRL FRIEND TO ANOTHER ; WITH SOME LOSE OF MONEY.

Answer 10

How did captain hook die?....










he picked his a-s-s with the wrong hand.