what would you do in my position?

Question

ok im going to be a dad in august and i want to be there for my ex-gf,right now i live in tenn wioth my mom and shes livin in Va with my dad, but i found another gf and she wants me to move to NY with her......but ive already found an appt in VA for my ex, me my sis and her bf. so please tell me what you would do!

im 19 and my ex is 18 weve been together since we were kids pretty much and we just bro0ke up like a month ago

Answer 1

You need to be there with your baby and his/her mom. If you guys were together for that long you probably still have feelings for her. right? Whatever you do wait until the baby is born, you have no idea what it is going to be like to be a new Dad. You are not going to want to miss a minute of that babies life. It's the best thing in the whole world. And a new young mom needs lots of help and support.

Answer 2

You are in your late teens or early twenties...right?

How long have you known this new girlfriend? Even if you didn't have the pregnant exgirlfriend....NY is a ways off to move to. What if you get there and you don't like her as much as you thought you did, what then?
You should be there for the birth of your baby. Its the right thing to do. You must have some feelings for the ex...right? after all why would you consider moving into an apartment with her.
Moving away with a new girlfriend while your ex is pregnant with your baby? No. Not a something a responsible adult man would do. Your young and maybe as the baby is getting closer to being here you're getting scared. Right?
But you know what. Its not about you anymore. Its not about your exgirlfriend anymore. Its about that baby both of you are bringing into this world. Step up to the plate and show everybody you are a responsible young man. That doesnt mean you have to move in with your pregnant girlfriend...but it does mean you don't need to at this point in time be dating anyone. Have some consideration for her. Shes pregnant with your child. Take a few steps back and just take it easy...if the new girl doesnt understand...to bad. Like I said its not about anyone right now but that innocent baby.

Answer 3

If you only broke up a month ago, you havnt had time to really think this through. In a months time you've already found a new girlfriend...is it an internet thing or true feelings??

You need to be there for your kid. You need to help her out when she needs it the most. You helped create this child and you should be there for the midnight feedings, the doctor's visits and everything inbetween. You have to take care of your responsiblity and put your heart and your dick asside. Your heart belongs to that child and no one else.

Im 27 and got pregnant and the father hasnt decided what he wants to do. I moved back to be with my family to have the support I needed because he wasnt going to offer it. We are older than you, yet he cant come to terms with his responsibility yet. Dont wait until its too late, you know the right answer. After 1 month you've found someone else??? Get a hold on reality and be responsible not impulsive. She should not be left alone to take care of this herself like I am.

Answer 4

I think you should try and be with your child, and maybe even try and make things work with your ex. This girl you're with has obviously not been with you for very long if you only broke up with your ex a month ago, so I really don't think it's a good idea for you to be moving far away from your baby for a girl you barely know.

Your ex is going to need a LOT of support and help in the days, weeks, and months before and after that baby is born, and you are that baby's father and are just as responsible for it as she is. I think that you could be cutting off contact with your child if you move away at such a critical point. That child needs a father. Take it from someone who has a deadbeat dad - - please don't leave her alone.

Answer 5

I would suggest to you that you hold the new gf off awhile. It sounds like you are in over your head. Since you do not say how old you are I will assume you are rather young. You need to evaluate your feeling for the ex and if you do not have true feelings for her then sharing an apartment with her is not a great idea. I commend you for wanting to be there for her, especially now. But it will be harder on her later if you live together, then decide to leave her for another. I think you should either leave her with your father in VA and you live with your sister and her bf. Or vice versa..she lives with your sister and you live with your father. This way if you decide to leave it will be easier on both of you. In the meantime you will be able to give her and the baby all the support they need. Since there is another girl friend in the picture above all else be sure you are doing what you need to do to prevent another baby. good luck to all of you..

Answer 6

I understand you want to be with her child, I would say you have to look at both sides. You move to Va say bye to the new girl and get to live with the baby. Or you move to a new state and barely get to see the baby. I think the whole living with her to be with the baby is very good of you. A lot more people are living with exs for the children and I think it's being more of a man doing that then running away. Which is what the ex will think. My ex left state twice and that's what i think he was doing. Good luck

Answer 7

Stay with your baby. Now if this girl wants you to leave ur baby behind and move with her imagine what she will be like when the baby is here. If she cant respect the fact that you are a dad and have a responsibility and can't live around you and your baby then she needs to go to NY where she belongs. Women will come and go but that baby will be with you forever. My biological father moved away when i was a baby and he chose his women over me my basically my whole life but now he thinks that i am still his girl and forget everything he ever did or didn't do for that matter. but i have a wonderful father now ( my step father ) Question you need to think about..Do you want Ur little girl or little boy calling another man daddy?
Do you want him or her growing up telling everyone how much of a looser his or her dad is and was not around because he chose women over him/her...?
exactly go where Ur baby is...

Answer 8

honor your commitment to your child. This is not about you, your current girlfriend or your ex-girlfriend. This is about the child that you have on the way. If your current girlfriend doesn't understand, then you need to really think about that. If she has a problem with you honoring a commitment to your son, then how will she feel later when the child is actually here and you want to go visit or have him to your home for a visit? Will she object? Think about it, but WHILE you are honoring your commitment ot your son or daughter.

Answer 9

This is really a question of responsibility versus want. Your responsibility lies with your unborn child and helping its mom through the next few months as well as helping with the child until it's an adult. What you want, is to go off somewhere to greener pastures. Ask yourself this question: "If I'm going to be Dad, what do I have to do to fulfill that role and responsibility?"

Then do the right thing.

Answer 10

if you choose a girl over your new child you will regret it. do you want to be there for your ex gf or your child? moving to ny sounds like a dumb idea, how can you parent from that far away? why are you worried about another girl right now anyway?