My fiance is seriously considering joining Special Forces (he is currently on a mission with them). I don't want to have any disillusions about what life will be like married to a Green Barret. I want to make sure I am making a wise decision about whether or not it is something I could handle. If you are a wife or know of what family life is like for a Special Forces family please let me know. Thanks
2006-06-23 15:22:17 · 17 answers · asked by hmc003 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
A lot of training but generally shorter deployments. Not home a lot but higher job satisfaction. If you can't handle that, tell him now, instead of telling him by phone when he's in a combat zone.
2006-06-23 15:26:49 · answer #1 · answered by Richard M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On a mission? Is he already in the special operations community? Ie: Rangers, pathfinders, delta..? If not, his claim of being on a mission with S.F. has a fishy smell to it. (many like to "borrow" from the mystique of spec ops) If he's a legit operator in spec ops, you'll already have an idea of the lifestyle. In Rangers, (green beret lifestyle's pretty similar) I was away from home much of the time. Even at home, or on time off, he'll be "on call" He'll sometimes have to leave in the middle of the night. Even when he knows, he'll usually not be able to say where and what he's doing. "The call" may be a drill, or a real alert may be cancelled. If an alert's legit there's no way to know how long he'll be gone. Sounds cliche, but it's true that he may not come home.
It sounds romantic, but in reality it's stressful, and uncertain for both soldier and his family. I've heard wives say it's not much different from being single. I'd think very carefully before makin the decision. Many marriages survive, but more don't.
2006-06-24 03:36:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to have a friend married to an SF guy. he was never home and she could never know exactly where he was or what he was doing when he was deployed. she was always worried because there were times when he wasnt able to call or anything and she had no idea where he was or if he was okay. if you think you can handle being by yourself all the time then you will be okay. but i will tell you that my friends marriage didnt last. SF is better for single soldiers who dont have a family, it makes married life REALLY hard. good luck.
2006-06-24 00:08:44 · answer #3 · answered by krystal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him then support him, but be prepared for him to be gone a lot and at a moments notice. Being married to a soldier is a task at any level, but SF I can believe is harder because of how much you will just never know about what he does. His service to his country will be difficult, but your service to your marriage will be the true special operation.
2006-06-23 23:10:46 · answer #4 · answered by bcarefulwatchaask4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will be gone alot ( even when stationed state side since he will be on alot of training)
He will be distant at times, not wanting to talk about what he does or what he has seen. He will have trouble sleeping after months at war seeing kids killed ( 8 or 10 year olds carry guns and are killed at times)
He will not see these problems, he may start drinking too much
2006-06-23 22:43:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will be deployed "A Lot" will not be able to discuss much of the mission details, locations and will be on call 24/7
you will be and must be a very strong wife to support and live with his mission requirements.
it can be and often is a real marriage killer!
you both need to really talk it out and be prepared for this type of soldier!
Good luck and remember America needs soldiers like him
2006-06-23 22:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by Pobept 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not married to a man on special force but as you could see... you must aprepare yourself of sleeping alone, keeps on worrying if he is just okay and the thought of him having an extra marital affair since he will be away then...
if you can take that then it is fine.... i know some that have live that way and though there are glitz, they survive... every couples have problems... if you love him much and is willing to sacrifice that much...
2006-06-23 22:29:33 · answer #7 · answered by crissimayo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother in law is sf. Ive seen him but twice in the last 12 years. Always away. Always gone. He missed most of his kids growing up.
2006-06-23 22:27:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with the majority ..i am just regular army and i am gone for 30 days at a time sometimes...but please dont let that be the deciding factor....sf is something to be really proud of and its hell to go through to get it...support him and his choices..instead of worrying about what you should do or not...youll be ok...you have the rest of your lives to be together...congrats and good luck
2006-06-24 12:27:43 · answer #9 · answered by whatever496 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll be gone about six months out of the year.Don't let that stand in your way if you love the guy.
2006-06-23 22:55:56 · answer #10 · answered by DOOM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋