Part 2 of A lit'l dog'n on men! Laugh with SmileyCat ?

Question

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay. I don't need to see it...And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought
what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without, it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will
share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...Like
wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

No offense men.....just a little girlie humor!

Was this funny yet true?
SmileyCat : )

Answer 1

How to tell a guy its OVER

Dear ________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.

I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavours, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition.

Tick those that apply...

___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!

___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO much time on your hands!

___Your legs are skinnier than mine.

___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.

__I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

__The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

___You still live with your parents.

___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Alien uniforms a little disconcerting.

___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long-term partner.

___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.

___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.



Sincerely,

Your Ex

Answer 2

there is no explanation why you need to no longer try this to your pup. it is going to likely be purely a jiffy until she's recovered and afterwards you will be secure with the understanding that she would be in a position to on no account have undesirable puppies, and could be freed from specific cancers and womb issues. the mother of my Staffie woman advance into on no account spayed, and she or he progressed epilepsy which advance into finally got here across to be led to by potential of a great an infection in her uterus. i'm no longer completely specific how which would be, however the vet pronounced it advance into so, or maybe however the canines had an emergency hysterectomy she died some days later, yet until then she'd had quite a few weeks of suits. She advance into merely 7. If spaying your canines will avert a foul dissatisfied like that then it rather is have been given to be nicely worth it, hasn't it? Edit: there is an answer above mine which says canines don't experience discomfort, that must be the oddest ingredient i've got ever study. next time you by threat step on your canines foot or tail and that they squeal, ask your self "do canines rather no longer experience discomfort"????

Answer 3

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/t8rxg

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 4

That's not humour that's me. Whats funny? (Although I'm tee-total so I wouldn't walk around with a beer.)

Answer 5

LOL ha ha ha ha oh my god that is so true, man you have got the man thing worked out to a tee, you don't know my boyfriend by any chance do you.

Answer 6

Can't be my ex; not critical enough about my clothing.

Answer 7

i like it,its got men down to a t, and it made me laugh! it sounds like my dad!

Answer 8

Did you just breakup with your bf ??

Answer 9

Sorry guys, but yes, it is true!!

Answer 10

hehe... I thought it was funny