2006-06-23 14:18:53 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Keep the problem a simple one, sis.
(1) If you're in the relationship long-term --
Then you will have to be real with your thoughts and feelings. Are you ready to be a mom. Can you be a mother to his children. Are you prepared to enter into a permanent relationship with the entire package?
Only you can answer that question. But it's a smart thing on your part that you're seeking wisdom.
(2) If you're only in a dating relationship ...
It's not an issue. But, if you like the guy, you have to be aware that he needs time to be a dad. And they him MORE than you do. At least until you know the relationship is going somewhere permanent.
If they are going to succeed in life, they will also need to spend time with their mom. You will have to allow that.
(3) Why are you asking this question? Is it because you have doubts. Then you need to confront them, and seek solutions, or realize that you're not ready for this man and his children.
2006-06-23 14:27:44 · answer #1 · answered by Sage 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a single parent my first impulse was to type "why wouldn't you want to date someone with kids? they already have parents so you aren't raising them." but that isn't always the case.
dating someone with kids can be very challenging. there are a lot of factors. i could go on and on but i will sum it up.
if those kids don't have the other parent in their life then you need to think about what would happen if you married this person. would you need to step into the parent role and take those kids on? are you willing to do that?
does this person want more kids? do you want kids?
if both parents are in the kids' lives, how is the relationship with the ex? if it is bad, then there is a lot of drama.
2006-06-23 14:36:50 · answer #2 · answered by Knocked Up 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love that person?
OPCs (other peoples children) are the singular most difficult thing in a relationship (in my opinion)
If you can't accept the kids move on, those kids will always come first and you will feel left out.
I dated and eventually married somone with a child. It was very very difficult for years. The kid used me against Mom. I stuck through it, now I get along great with the kid (who is an adult) and my wife and I are very happy
It wasn't easy
2006-06-23 14:26:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never have gotten to meet the greatest guy in my life if he didn't want to date a girl with kids. I have three kids and he loves and accepted them. This past january we had a little boy of our own. It is totaly up to you. How do you feel about children and especially children that are not yours. I told him on our first date that I had three children and he could run now. If he didn't want a girl with three kids I told him we would go no further then that night. good luck to you.
2006-06-23 14:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by JAYNE C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on multiple factors. 1. How is the relationship with the ex? If it could cause problems rethink it. 2. How old are the kids, if they are at an age where they will have issues with them dating their parent, you will have to worry about that. 3. Think long and hard about the baggage that always comes with children, believe me I am in the same position right now, and it makes my relationship so hard with him. I am constantly asking myself why I knowingly let myself into this, even though I love him.
2006-06-23 14:25:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not?? Do you hate kids?? If you do, then definitely do not date. But, be prepared and mature enough to realize the children will come first before going out.
2006-06-23 14:22:01 · answer #6 · answered by driver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you like kids?? That is one of the biggest questions you should ask yourself. Also do you have patience for kids...
Being a divorced parent..my kids are first. My boyfriend can't have kids and he loves my kids..he does things with them and misses them when there at there Dads. Its hard to find someone when you have kids...so if you like her/him and like kids..it could be a good thing.
2006-06-23 14:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by jessdjnick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im dating a guy with one kid and i keep forgeting he has a kid we live a bit of a way apart and ive never seen the kid so it dont bother me lol
me and mate were walking and i was saying i could nevre date some one with a kid then m8 turned round and said wait dont he have a kid? i said omg yeh he does lmao
2006-06-23 14:39:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be sure that you are emotionally mature enough to handle that. Most people aren't. You need to respect the fact that you can NEVER be #1 in this person's life, as you shouldn't be.
2006-06-23 14:23:30 · answer #9 · answered by UNITool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, why not? I have kids and I'm still cool. Best wishes
2006-06-23 14:21:38 · answer #10 · answered by colorist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋