Why is it that even in the year 2006 people still can't accept (or stop staring at) interracial couples?

Question

I find this a very rude thing that I have to deal with on a regular basis. I would like a good open minded opinion on this.

Answer 1

Are you sure?

Frankly, I think you're worried about nothing. Do you really have people who won't accept you? I know plenty of mixed race marraiges and haven't heard any complaints from them. (Well, one... but the complaint there was that their BLACK friends didn't like it.)

When you walk down the street holding hands and sombody looks at you, what makes you think they're doing so because of mixed race? If I walk down the street holding hands with my wife, I get looked at too. And we're both the same race. It's just something that happens.

Let me put it in a different perspective and take race out of the picture. I knew somebody who was very self conscious about her weight. And frankly, she was quite overweight. She was always sure that everyone was staring at her when she walked down the street. I watched for it once at a mall. As far as I could determine, she wasn't getting any more looks than anyone else. Yes, there was a passing glance as people walked by, but EVERYONE got a passing glance from everyone else. It's what people do. You do it too... that's how you recognise people you know in a crowd. Later, she said again that everyone was "staring" at her.

I've had the same impression on really bad hair days or when I had a stain on my shirt. Probably the same misperception.

Answer 2

Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) prejudism is a learned behavior. It is not inherent or a natural emotion or instinct. I think this is taught to children--they don't take the time to figure it out and it carries on to their adult life, where it is taught again and the cycle continues. If you put a bunch of little children together, you won't see any signs of prejudism, be it skin color, weight, height, you name it. The same thing with animals...they don't care. I think prejudism also may happen if a person has an unfortunate incident with a person of a particular group. For example, if a fat person sat on you and squashed you, you would be leery of an obese. Similarly, if you were attacked (or whatever) by a person of a particular segment of the population, you might be wary of that group. The old saying is "One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole barrel" and I wish people would realize that. You will see prejudism when a war is being fought. Look what the USA did to our own American Japanese population during WWII--internment camps in our own country!! How many Iraqi friends do you have, and if you did, would you have any hesitation about being seen with them? So, once a person develops a prejudice against a group, it's very difficult to break the cycle, and it keeps going and going. I am in my 50s and from a rural area. I never met a person of color until I was 13. We were buddies right off the bat. It was fun going to each other's house. My parents never questioned it...there was no need to. Even if they did, I think I would be smart enough to think things out. I was brought up around people who used the word "colored" and the hateful "N" word. I rarely use the word "Black"...I have never met or seen a person whose skin was black. I have a very good friend who is from Sri Lanka. When he first moved here, he kept on calling himself "colored"...I spent days trying to give him the history of the word and finally convinced him to use "man of color"...even that phrase isn't 100% agreeable to me. I am about as pale skin as you can find and wish I HAD some color to my skin.

I was reading the posts to your question, and I can't believe the ignorance of some people who think certain "groups" of people should not be together. I remember an episode of "The Jeffersons" where George gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a "White" KKK member who was having a heart atack. When the man became conscious and discovered George's mouth had been on his, he said he wished he would have let him die. And I agree...George probably should have let him die and that would be one less prejudiced person in the world who would continue the cycle.

So what I'm saying is that prejudism (against any group) is something that can be changed, but only on an individual basis. You or I can't change how the rest of the world feels...we only have control of our own little piece of it. If everybody made their private chunk of the world a happy one, we would have one beautiful, peaceful planet. But maybe that's only in fairy tales...

Answer 3

I think it depends on where you live. In small towns, people are less accepting and more prejudiced or perhaps they are simply curious because they don't often see interracial couples. People are generally less racist in big cities, where they see and interact with people of many races and cultures on a regular basis. It also depends on how you handle it. It's like if you expect the worst and act defensively, you will get the worst. But if you learn how to handle those people with grace and humor, you may turn a potentially negative situation into a positive one. I was married for twenty years to a Mexican man ( I am white). My kids (two girls) looked just like my ex-husband, and so they used to ask me if I was the babysitter or if my kids were adopted. I used to laugh and say something quick and witty in return...that disarmed a lot of people. Now, people stare at my daughters because they are so unbelievably beautiful, and they get non-stop attention from people (guys, especially) of all races and cultures. People may stare at you and your partner, but if they see a happy, loving, obviously compatible couple, their reaction may be more positive than negative.

Answer 4

It is very rude! My guess would be we're not that far from the past when racism was really bad. When segregation was ok. That's the era our parents lived in, when it was a big no no. I'm sure most white kids parents are prejudice and black kids parents don't trust white people and they teach that to their children that the opposite skin color is someone you don't hang out with or be with. I hope one day all people will realize that we're all the same inside but unfortunately I think that will be a cold day in hell. There are too many narrow minded people in this world that over power the good people. Me personally, I tried hard to ignore it, it is hard but then just remember your happiness comes first and foremost!

Answer 5

I personally don't see anything wrong with interracial couples/marriages, I had a black girl that I was really close to for a few years in Highschool myself. I still find myself thinking about her every now and then. In fact, my best friend's parents are interracial. Anyway, the reason that people keep staring at interracial couples like they were something out of Ripley's Believe it Or Not is that it's not as common as races "sticking together," so to speak.

One of my coworkers is asian/hispanic, and I don't have beef against him. Who loves whom is their own business.

Answer 6

They can't accept it because they're ignorant. and just plain baised. some people think that its too hard on the children that come from these relationships, and its true, its pretty hard on the kids sometimes. But thats not the responsiablity of the parents or the mixed kids, its the people who cant hold their tongue who need to fix themselves. As for staring, you're going to have to get used to it. People stare all the time. My mom and her boyfriend are a mixed couple, so i should be used to it right? Nope. I catch myself staring at couples ALL THE TIME. not because i think theres anything wrong with it, i just see mixed couples and start to thinking about their relationship and how they must be pretty tough to do that, and before i know it i'm staring. It feels uncomfortable, but theres really no harm to looking.

Answer 7

I can't speak for other people, because I'm sure there are a variety of reasons why they might stare. I can only speak for myself -- and I have NO problem with interracial couples! :) And it's certainly not anything worth "staring" at! I don't think it's any big deal for people of different racial and/or ethnic groups to date or marry.

What I DO have a problem with are the prejudicial, judgemental people whom you say bother you with their staring. That is quite rude of them, not to mention downright foolish. :( I'd stare at someone who had one eye or three noses or a leg growing out of their head, but certainly not an interracial couple! (Sorry for the rambling. I just have no patience for intolerance).

Answer 8

Maybe they admire you.

You should just assume that everyone who stares at you is someone who once wanted a relationship with someone of a different culture, but were afraid of the opinions of others.

Therefore, they're just jealous that you have the courage to do what they couldn't.

Seriously, even if that's not EVERYONE, I'm sure it's alot more than you think. Just go with it! This way, at least you don't let a couple of uncouth individuals ruin your day.

Answer 9

I believe it is partly an unfortunate by-product of an even more unfortunate legacy ... of slavery. It also speaks to man's historical obsession with differentiation and using it as a basis to discriminate or treat others differently. In other words, because you wear a different colored shirt (skin) or your eyes are blue instead of brown, or your hair is kinky instead of straight, or because you worship differently than I do...you are a prime target for whatever ails me. In today's world, many people have a abiding curiosity about interracial couples but prefer to treat them with a measure of disdain, rather than openmindedness. Short answer (opinion) to a very complicated issue.

Answer 10

In my opinion, they're jealous of those of interracial couples in most cases. It's natural that people are comfortable when they're with those who share similar backgrounds, say race or culture.

When one gets out the confortable zone and comes to be able to build a relationship with someone who's not too similar to self, others may see it in awe.