Should I adopt?

Question

I am a single, male. I just got dumped by my ex-fiance. We were planing on having children. I still very much want my own child. My best friends just put their beautiful baby girl up for adoption. I would think that they want it to go to somone they know, I consoulted them, and they thought it was a wounderful idea. The only thing i am having trouble with is being a single parent. I have heard things about it being hard. I need to know if I should adopt this child, or wait and find another woman, and have my own children, as I am only 21, this is still a legit. choice.

i bascilly raised my little twin brother and sisters, that were 5 years younger, seeing as my parents, were hardly ever around. I would say that compansates for much responsiblility

Answer 1

Are you doing a psychology experiment or are you a pedophile? In one question you're 16, then you're seventeen, now your 21 and asking about adopting a baby while simultaneously asking a question soliciting talking to 13 and 14 year old girls.
Is this a legit choice? you ask....No , if you are as messed up as your questions show you to be.

Answer 2

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It's commendable that you aren't insisting on propagating your genes! There are so many children in need of homes! If you haven't already, you might want to consider how much support from your family you have in this (Have they offered to babysit while you work ... Would you want them to?) You might want to get a home, & have it paid for before bringing kids on the scene. That way you could spend LOTS more time with them. But -- whatever you decide -- there's a LOT more to consider than the obvious, such as discussed in:

Single Parent Families Can Succeed :
... Single-Parent Families on the Rise
... The Multiple Challanges
... A Lone but Not Alone Parent
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2002/10/8/article_01.htm

Spend Time With Your Family!
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1999/5/15/article_01.htm

The Problems of Children - THE SOLUTION AT LAST! :
... An Ongoing Search for Solutions
... Children Deserve to be Wanted & Loved
... The Solution at Last!
... Help for Young People
... Rights of the Child
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2000/12/8/article_01.htm

Children - What They Need From Parents:
... Into the Cold World!
... What Babies Need & Want
... Providing Children What They Need
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2003/12/22/article_01.htm

A Child's Early Years - What Should Parents Do? :
... How Important Is Early Child Training?
... The Importance of Nurturing Your Child
... Your Role as a Parent
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/10/22a/article_01.htm

What Makes a Good Father? :
... Absent Fathers - A Growing Problem
... The Kind of Father Children Need
... How to Be a Good Father
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/8/22/article_01.htm

Answer 3

I have nine adopted children. Yes, I said 9!! Adoption is wonderful, but it is also very, very hard. A lot of issues come up for adopted children that other children don't have to deal with. You are very young. You have a lot of time. I wouldn't do it yet. Let the baby go to a two parent home. That little girl deserves to have a mother in her life as well as a father. There will be no problem finding her a wonderful, loving home. Many people want to adopt babies. Parenting is harder than you can imagine. Give yourself some time. I was 26 when I first adopted, and it was hard for me then. I couldn't imagine having done it at age 21. If you want to talk to me about adoption, feel free to e-mail me. I'll answer your questions as honestly as I can. Good luck in your decision.

Answer 4

You're only twenty-one years old; you have a long life ahead of you, and plenty of opportunity to have a family with children who are biologically yours. From that perspective, you should not adopt. You also seem to have very little experience with children -- "I have heard things about (raising a child) being hard" is a lot different than "I know that raising a child is difficult, but I have experience and know I will be a good parent." On the strength of all that, I'd say no adoption for you.

However, from the perspective of the child being given up for adoption -- and I'm restraining myself from saying anything about the parents -- that child needs a home. She should be home with her parents, but since they don't seem to want her (again, restraining myself) I might be inclined to say that you should adopt her.

All in all, though, I'm going to say "don't adopt her, because as a young single man with no experience raising a child, you will not give that child as good a life as a couple with more years and experience with children would. Do what you can to either convince your best friends to keep their child, or to find a good home for her (that's not yours.)"

Oh, and finally: you can't just decide to adopt; there are agencies you need to go through, and screening, and background checks -- I would not expect that you'd be allowed to adopt a young child as a single male parent.

Answer 5

If you think you can handle raising a child on your own then I say go for it but only if you really want one and I think adopting your best friends baby is a great idea because they won't have to go through the loss and pain like most people do giving their baby up for adoption because they'll know it's going to a good home and they'll be able to see the child once in a while. And if you want to and your best friends want to you can let the child know when it gets older that your friends are its biological parents

Answer 6

You have to really think this through. You just went through what I am assuming is a bad break up. It is going to take time, and adopting a child is not the answer. You may happen upon another elationship after getting over this one, and you will severely handicap yourself by throwing a child into the mix. It is also a human being and can't be returned once you take her. You should give yourself time, and then think about what you want to do. Don't do it for the babies sake. Let her have her chance at a better life!!! You will have another chance, just be patient...

Answer 7

Absolutely, categorically not!! At 21 you should be dating, travelling and enjoying your life. One day you will meet a woman who you will want to be the Mother of your children but that's a way ahead yet. This little Girl deserves a Mummy AND a Daddy, who are mature, stable and have waited for parenthood, and just imagine the complications which would be caused by her being the child of your friends. A child is not a puppy.

Answer 8

Just for considering this your a hero. But think on it, I have 2 boys and just turned 30. They are very challenging, but I love them to death. my oldest is 6 so I started at 24, I thought we were young, wow but 21. make a list of all the positives and negatives that you can think of, this should help your decision process, remember that for a child the best case scenario is a home with a mom and a dad, we balance out each other, and keep each other sane:):):) My wife and I are Licensed foster parents in California, and are waiting to adopt a little girl, or 2. To balance out our family, 2 boys, 2 girls.
Should you decide against the idea, maybe put your friends in contact with us with the details of there situation. Maybe we could help each other out.
Best of luck to you.
my opinion - your fiance messed this one up

email me for more details my wife and I would be glad to share our story.

Answer 9

You still have plenty of time to have children. I would not adopt a child as a single parent at your age, especially a child who you are friends with the birth parents. That is going to bring some problems later if you do. You have plenty of time to have kids, so don't worry, but don't jump into anything too soon.

Answer 10

This is totally up to you but i think it is great that you want to take responsiblillity for another life. I think that you should, yeah it will be hard at times but everything worth anything is. I don't have my own kids but have raised 3 and i will tell you it was hard but i do not regret it for a sec. and can't wait to have some of my own!