what's the funniest hypochondriac story you've heard?

Question

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Answer 1

I worked in a doctor's office for quite a few years and we had a patient who was afraid to swallow her own saliva, she thought it would kill her. She walked around with a kleenex and was constantly wiping the saliva off of her mouth. She also used to call the office daily to be reassured that putting toothpaste in her mouth would not kill her.

Answer 2

In 1986, I had a dear friend who was the biggest hypochondriac. She had all these maladies. Allergies, depression, pleuresy, a bad back, bad legs, cluster headaches, migraines, you name it she had it. If she even heard about a disease, she decided she had it. One day, my husband and I were at a friend's house who was also friends with *Connie. We were waiting for her so that we could all go out. Well, she waltzed in the door fanning her face and said, "It's just been a Epstein-Barr kind of day". She was serious and none of us could quit laughing.

Answer 3

Mine. Ok here goes. I was about 39 yrs old at the time this story takes place. I needed to say that to get this thing going. I am afraid of wasp stings, very afraid of them. I use to terrorize wasps when i was a young teen. swat them, shoot them with my B.B. gun, throw rocks at them and all of that sort of stuff. Well anyway, when I was a kid I got stung on the thumb. It swelled up so bad that I couldn't even wear my baseball mit for two weeks. Parents took me to the Dr.s and he said that I was allergic to wasp stings and that I shouldn't bother them any more. He then told me that I could get real sick if they stung me. So Now I am about 39 and me and my new wife are working outside one day when I get stung right on the end of the nose! Man did I freak out! I mean I was yelling and screaming at my wife to take me to the E.R. right away! "Hurry up before I die or something". So here we go into town speeding and stuff. When we get to the E.R. my wife explains that I had just been stung by a red wasp and that I was highly allergic to them.. All the while I am sitting in a wheel chair, thrashing around, Panting like a dog, eyes rolling in the back of my head, I mean, I was in a bad way. Well they took me in to the E.R. and started asking me questions about what happened, and started some meds thru an IV. and started taking my blood pressure with one of those new type automatic things that monitors your blood presure aabout every ten minutes or so.Well every time this thing would fire up and start taking a reading, I would Scream and start to freak out Panting even harder than before. Even started to shake and shudder. Well, after tying the room up for about two hours, I was calm and relaxed and almost asleep, when I heard the nurse and Doc talking in the back round to my wife. Thats when i really thought that I would just die right then and there. I heard them say that in my file, my old family Dr. had made a note in the margin that said....Get this now.... " I told the patient , (even used my name here) that he was very allergic to wasp stings to keep him from bothering the wasps, and thence reducing his chances of getting stung, hope it works. No known allergies to bee or wasps/hornets." How embarassing !

Answer 4

My own father - filed his nails constantly and at one point thought he had cancer because there was a ridge on the end of his nails....it was from all the filing..."but they say a change in fingernail growth might mean cancer....."

Answer 5

my brither-in-law is a hypo. His first-born sneezed and he rushed him to the E.R. because hethought he was gonna get pneumonia or sumthing

Answer 6

My friend told me she was bi polar because only one side of her head hurt. We were discussing someone who is bi polar.

What a true "want to be sick" person.

Answer 7

what's a hypochondriac?

Answer 8

i dont think i have ever heard one.. lol

Answer 9

a hypocondriac dies ...on his gravestone...... SEE I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK!!