Those of you who waited until marriage...?

Question

did this make things difficult or awkward on your wedding night? Do you have any regrets? Any tips? (Please nothing too detailed or inappropriate, I don't need to know the mechanics, just the right frame of mind.)

Answer 1

i AM SO GLAD WE WAITED UNTIL MARRIAGE. We had no problems at all, it was all very wonderful. I wish everyone could have the joy on their wedding night we experienced. It was like the excitement of Christmas morning. I suggest the couple have good premarital counselling like we did. I also would add to the guys, BE SURE YOU ALWAYS MEET HER NEEDS FIRST.

Answer 2

We waited too and I'm so glad we did. It was not awkward. A couple of weeks before the wedding read The Act of Marriage by Tim LaHay. It will tell you what you need to know.
A tip is not to have your wedding too late in the day. An afternoon wedding would be fine. Don't have a wedding in the everning so that you get to your motel room late at night.

Answer 3

We waited until we were married. We dated for 2 years (engaged for 6 months) before we got married. By the time the wedding was over and we got to our first night's destination, we were so exhausted that we didn't even...umm...engage! But the first time wasn't awkward at all. We both were gung-ho ready to go!

The key for us was that we were best friends and had a deep love for each other, to start with. While we were engaged, we read books together about what to expect, what not to expect, reviewed basic anatomy, asked each other questions about expectations, likes/dislikes, fears, etc. Just TALK with each other. The more you know about yourself and your future spouse, the more comfortable you'll be on that first night.

I think the number one reason people have fear is because they are operating under assumptions and/or in a state of ignorance (ignorance meaning that you just don't have the all or the right information). Educate yourselves, go through pre-marital counseling, TALK with each other, and maybe start writing love letters to each other. Can be anything: mushy, sexy, silly, etc. This can help alleviate some of the tension.

And most of all, give each other room to make mistakes! Nobody gets it perfectly right on their first go-around. You must extend grace to each other...and laugh about it in the end. Take your time. Have fun! And God bless you both. : )

P.S. Absolutely no regrets!

Answer 4

I was going to wait. That was the plan. Then I was engaged at 19 and after being with him 6 months we had sex. Obviously we didn't get married, which is fine. He was so wrong for me. But anyway, now I'm 24 and I've been with 10 people. (And hey, don't tell me that's too shabby. I know people who are in the hundreds...)

Anyhow, I can't tell you what it would feel like to only be with one person. What I can tell you is that my first time was pretty lousy. And I've learned a lot sexually since then... and also about how sexuality plays into a healthy relationship. Now I can't imagine not having had sex even until this point in my life. I used to think it would be fine; but now it seems crazy. Well not crazy-crazy, but maybe you know what I mean...

I'm not going to say "Yah! Go have sex!" That's your decision. And honestly, if you really feel comfortable about doing it how you're doing it... go for it! It'll definitely be beautiful. The question is, will it be great? Cause those aren't always the same thing, and aren't always both present in one person. I'm sorry I can't be more help, but I have to tell you... I sometimes wonder myself what it would have been like, cause I really just can't imagine it now.

Answer 5

I waited but the wedding night didn`t go quite to plan. We were sleeping at my mum and dad`s as we were going on honeymoon the next day. We were leaving for the airport early. Our best man and his girlfriend decided to stay for coffee and despite serious hinting of hot water bottles etc and alarm clocks they just did not get it. In the end I think my mum more or less told them in plain English. It was a bit awkward at my mum and dads so things waited until honeymoon.

Answer 6

No regrets about waiting until marriage to give that "special gift" to my husband.

When you are raised with the right morals and standards in a Christian home, it is easy to resist temptation. At least, I never had a problem with it.

Answer 7

Nothing is more special or committed than knowing another person gave themselves totally to you, only. Saying you love someone is easy expressing it by deed, is hard and well worth the effort. I don't regret it.

Answer 8

Dont' listen to the guy who said to watch porno. That's degrading. Listen to the people who respected each other and who are still married. One of them even mentioned studying a little anatomy . . . reading, and marital counseling before to help you feel confident and have a wonderful time. Best wishes.

Answer 9

well, what i can tell you is that it won't make things awkward because you realized that you have saved yourself all along for this person and you are going to be proud of yourself. Proud that you resisted it for all the years. Well about "it", there will always be a first time...

Answer 10

I waited and I was very nervous but I wasn't awkward, I was more excited I guess. No regrets because it made it more special.

Answer 11

Communication is key. You need to be able to talk about sex with your life partner so that you guys can improve....if it is awkward and unsatisfying the first time. With communication it will improve. Do NOT be afraid to ask for what you need.