My mother in law comes up with all kinds of excuses not to have to see my kids. She even left our daughter's 2nd birthday party early as she had to watch the other grandkid (a boy) the next day. She lied about it and told my wife and me that she had to clean house the next day so she had to go to church the day of the birthday.
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2006-06-23 11:29:28 · 12 answers · asked by GutsiePerson 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thanks everyone. We have been going to route of just being polite and keeping inviting her. We have a lot of surrage family for our kids. It just eats me up whenever she does this kind of stuff.
2006-06-23 13:50:20 · update #1
I feel your pain. I have the same situation. I let it bothered me for years. I realized that was so many others that loves my daughters and are involved in their life that I have let it go. I feel like it is her loss and not theirs. They are going to remember the memories that they had with others. When its time for them to make their own decision about whose house to visit then they will go with the memories. I know that your mother in law does love your child as I know that mine does love mine. I reinforce that with them whenever they ask questions. They are old enough now when they ask something pertaining to the scenario I tell them that they need to ask her. Just know that what comes around goes around.
2006-06-23 11:41:19 · answer #1 · answered by bobbiericky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't a question of what I would do but what I have done. I have a small daughter and her grandmother clearly feels that she is of less importance then the other grandchildren. I eventually had to stop asking "why" and start asking "what I will I do about this". I'll tell you what worked for me. Your kids are the most important people in your life. 1st make sure they know that. If you make it clear that they are very definitely loved they wont feel so slighted by the lack of attention from their grandmother. 2nd stop including her in family things. If she truly does not make the effort to spend time with your kids don't force it on her or the very observant children. if you don't include her your feelings wont get hurt when she chooses to leave because she has "better things to do." 3rd when there are family gatherings where the grandmother might be invited by other family, leave early that way the kids wont have to see her walk away...again. Passive aggressive works for me. don't be angry about the way your kids are treated. deal with it in a way that is healthy emotionally for your children.
2006-06-23 18:47:47 · answer #2 · answered by Gavin F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you don't appreciate that she is leaving your daughters events due to the other child and you don't like the excuses to avoid your kids. Tell her if it doesn't stop then you will have to ask her not to be in there life at all because you don't want them feeling second best. If she doesn't take you serious then hold to it and don't allow her to see the kids till she can treat them with respect. I know it sounds harsh but you really do not want your kids thinking that she loves the other child more that can cause a lot of problems with the kids later. Stop it while you can and before it is to late please.
2006-06-23 18:37:31 · answer #3 · answered by shellshell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need someone like that around. If she wants to be there tell her she is welcome to be and she must leave when she is comfortable and when you want to her to leave, she must do so.
Remember it's a problem she has got with HERSELF. If it is you, or your child/the grandchild, she is probably masking the real problem. Reading a really interesting book on it at the moment. Well on older adults that pose to make our lives more difficult than they need to be.
You also need to make quite sure that you comminicate it, best is to say it straight and lightly during a bubbly conversation, if the conversation comes to a halt, let it and repeat yourself (don't be scared!!!! just say it, with discernment!). Make her understand that if she is using your kid to get to you or back at you, then her time with your kid will become very limited. It's difficult, but be as consistent as you can with it. If she leaves early on her own accord making excuses, remember it's not your fault or your kid. She's dealing with something much bigger - a lot of the time people are their own worst enemies.
Message me for the books name and ISBN. It's opening my eyes and I can only read a little at a time, which is frustrating, cos my family politics I'd like to have had it sorted out like yesterday!!!! Strength man. You need it, we all know!!!!
Post us again!! :)
2006-06-23 18:55:56 · answer #4 · answered by Light W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly what you mean my in laws are like that well my own dad is at times but you cant do anything but show the others attention when you see there not getting there share
2006-06-23 18:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by t_ibrahim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grandparents can suck sometimes too, my husband's family only cater to my husbands first child from his first marriage, our child from our marriage, doesn't even exist to them...and he's their biological grandson same as the first one, and they only have the two...it's their loss though. My son is better off without them in his life.
2006-06-23 20:55:51 · answer #6 · answered by bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing really you can do about it. People are going to favor who they want. My dad favors my sister...always has. He denies it of course but he won't change that.
2006-06-23 18:53:36 · answer #7 · answered by Heather 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she just would rather not see any of your family, maybe it isnt just the grandchild. I dont know, that is odd. I dont know why. Try confronting her about it.
2006-06-23 18:32:18 · answer #8 · answered by efraevo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
had that happen. her loss enjoy your kids dont let it bother you sooner or later when she relizes her error it would be her loss.
2006-06-23 19:07:12 · answer #9 · answered by hubby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she stupid, ur kids dont need a granma like thaT!
2006-06-23 18:32:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋