How do I pick myself back up - self harm?

Question

I suffer from depression and anxiety which I'm on medication for and have been for the past 18 months. I also struggle with self harm, I self harmed daily for 18 months, although recently I was getting on top of it. I managed not to hurt myself for the past 6 weeks, but then last night I ruined it all and cut.

Now I just feel really discouraged and down about it. I feel like I've failed myself. But because I've already failed, it starts me thinking "well I've ruined it all now anyway, what difference does it make if I cut some more?"

How can I pick myself back up again and get past this? Because right now I don't really see any reason NOT to self harm.....sorry.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist for just over a year. But I'm home from university for the summer holidays and 250 miles away from my psychiatrist and GP and will be until August.

I'm not a stereotypical teenage girl cutting her arms looking for attention.....I'm in my twenties, I never self harmed before a couple of years ago, and I only harm in areas people won't see. Very few people know about my self harm, which makes it difficult to confide in friends and family, as they are not aware of the situation.

Answer 1

Hello again, You are Not Allowed to kick yourself like this! And you do not owe us an apology, so you don't have to say sorry, its really not necessary.
The original reason for you to self harm cannot possibly have disappeared in only 6 weeks. You are dealing with it, but it takes time, it takes longer than 6 weeks.
Somehow you got knocked off track. You've forgotten that you are obliged to celebrate 6 weeks of harm free living.
If you had a friend who was so overweight it was time to diet, and she dieted for 6 weeks, then cracked and had a jam doughnut; would you say to her Yeah! Eat All the donuts!
NO! Of course wou wouldn't. You'd say One Donut is Not the end of the process of dieting.
I'm sorry to hear you've hit a rough patch. When we're doing well we forget how down down is. We also forget that its unrealistic to be up all the time, or always able to cope or be superhuman or whatever.
So no, you are not allowed to quit, you have a responsibility to get yourself through the next few days until things start to pick up. You've done it before so you've had some practice.
Put the sharp things out of your way and get yourself some ice cubes, thats an order!
Then treat yourself to something nice, I insist; some hot chocolate and marshmallows or something. I don't want to hear any excuses, just do something comforting for yourself and learn to take it. If you can't take comfort from yourself you can't take it from others either.
Hang on in there.

Get The Samaritans phone number, do it right now, and PHONE them, don't make any excuses. Just do it. If you feel like you're cut off from your support look elsewhere for support.

Answer 2

Nothing can substitute for help from someone who knows what she's talking about, but I would say you need to place yourself in situations and with people who can discourage your desire to self-injure. Of course, you can't have someone at your side 24/7, but it sounds like you were doing well until something triggered your depression and sent your over the edge. Find some people you trust and avoid situations that have proven bothersome in the past.

This is all just my completely uneducated opinion, of course. If you're on medication already, then you should definitely bring this up with your physician. I'm sorry you feel as you do. I've never been there, but I've seen it before. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

Don't apologize. What you are going through is totally understandable and very familiar to a lot of people, including me. I used to self harm for a long time, then I just made the decision to stop. It's hard. You are going to have times when you make a mistake, but don't get discouraged and start all over. It's a big step not doing it for six weeks, trust me. Don't get discouraged, just leave it alone. It happened and it's done, just try not to repeat it. Congratulate yourself for being ok for six weeks, it's a great accomplishment considering the situation. If you don't want to congratulate yourself cause you're mad at yourself, I will. Congrats! and don't get discouraged. Just keep on. It seems like it never ends now, but it does. And it ends better too.
If you need someone to talk to, just e-mail me. No problem.

Answer 4

hello hunny, first things first i know exactly were your coming from because i didnt self harm for weeks and then the last three days ive ended up in hospital 3 times. i wish i could talk to you face to face cos then i would get a picture of you in my head. when you do self harm DO NOT look at it as a failure cos its not. its a minor set back and you will get through it. you might not think so but you will. ive been selfharming now for 10 years and ive just come off a section. i was locked up for 4 years and im out but i do still selfharm. have you tried ice, now thats a good one if you feel like cutting. hold the ice where you want to cut and place it on the skin.it really hurts but through experience and reasearch shows it gives off the same brain chemicals that cutting does. also there is an elstic band, put it on your wrist asnd then when you want to cut you ping it. these are only a few ideas but when your at your lowest eb try these and remember its not a failure its just a blip and dont beat yourself up about it. i wish you all the best and dont be afraid to ask for more tips. when youve not selfharmed congratulate yourself coz believe me hunny i know how hard it is.

Answer 5

I've been there and still am to a certain extent but i never found any useful advice for me to give you, some people do some people don't so i guess at the end of the day you just got to keep looking until you find something that works for you and to not to stop looking even if it feels like you will never find it because it's the journey/taking part that counts(just make sure you learn something along the way), it's like the lottery you've got to play it to win it even if the odds are like 30 million to 1 if you don't play then you won't get anything out of it, hope this helps, good luck:o)

Answer 6

I don't pretend to understand self-harm, but I do understand the spiral that self-doubt and lack of self-worth can start you upon.

I can't tell you why you do these things or how you can stop doing them but I can tell you this: there are two options you can take, firstly decide you've let yourself down, dwell on it, see it as another failure convince yourself that you'll never beat it and harm yourself daily again OR you can look at what you've done, accept it, don't beat yourself up about it and put it behind you, realise that everyone fails to completely live up to the targets they set themselves and forgive yourself and keep on working towards your ultimate goal of stopping the self-harm.

As I said, it's not a solution or an insight to the cause but it is a way of forgiving yourself and not just abandoning the achievements you have made.

Good luck

Answer 7

Some types of medication makes your urge to cut even more like Xanax and some other anti-anxiety tablets. I find if you keep yourself preoccupied and just keep your mind off it. I know how hard it is to stop cutting, you have to face the withdrawal syndromes and you wonder whether it's really worth it. But feeling happy without cutting yourself is the greatest joy anyone can have. Trust me on it. Because cutting yourself, you get a happy sensation, yeah, but it's not real. If you experience true joy, you will never cut again. It helps if you talk out about your self-harm and tell others why they shouldn't do it, once you talk to other people about why they have to stop cutting, you just practising it on yourself. And everytime you feel the urge to cut and you don't, reward yourself. Swimming, writting, talking also helps whenever you feel like cutting. before you cut, just try and analyze what is it that makes you want to cut in the first place and just try and fix it. Self harm is just gonna ruin your life, trust me. I thought it was my best-friend who was always there for me whenever things got rough, but the truth is, I made me loss friends, my nervous system, my family, my education, my joy and my sanity. Please just stop.

Answer 8

Hey,
I'm in exactly the same position as you. I don't know how to control my self harm, and it is something that is very private to me. What I try to do though is put it off and keep doing so. Like I'll say to myself that I'll cut in 10 mins, then after those 10, another 15, so you are constanly saying to yourself yes I will allow myself to cut but later... keep pushing it away. For people to tell you to stop and think about what you are doing to your body is not going to help, because I'm sure you are an intellegent person and can see this. The main way to beat it is to say to yourself that you are going to allow yourself to do it, but just later, and later, until the urge becomes less. If you ever wanna talk feel free. =)

Answer 9

Possible solutions:

1. Get a hobby. Find something that you like to do and focus on that. It seems you may have too much time on your hands. Try and keep busy as much as you can.

2. Look forward to the future. Look forward to a college education. Strive for it. College isn't for everyone but it is a life changing experience that has often helped people to come out of their shells and experience life for the first time.

3. I would try and get help from a homeopathic doctor. Often times, they succeed where a traditional one fails.

4. Think about the good in your life and focus on that. Be happy and grateful for what you have and be happy you aren't in Darfur.

Answer 10

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone is screwed up in some way. Booze, Drugs, Porn, Violence, Lying, Stealing, Emotional Abuse, False Beliefs, Gluttony etc.....

You chose a more apparent form of self-harm. This is a set back - not a dive off a cliff.

What tools did you use to so well for the past 6 weeks?

Smile someone loves you. God does too.