what should a person do with unruly childern?

Question

what is the appropriate thing to do with unruly childern. is spanking the right chioce ? is talking to them or time out enough? what do you do when siblings fuss and argue constantly? my childern are 12 and 4....would love to hear your opinions.....

Answer 1

i dont think there is any problem with being spanked and i would actuall encourage it, it really teaches a lesson to the children. make sure you use your hand and only hit them on the behind though, anything else is child abuse, but where i said is legal. and dont listen to people who say "spaking promotes violence in children" because it is NOT true, people these days are just too big of wusses to do anything. i was spanked when i was younger and not only did it teach me not to do things i wasnt supossed to, but it never once made me think that violence is the way to go. im 20 years old and i have never hit another person in my life. and while timeouts and talking to your children are good for some things, they dont work for everything...but when your child gets a spanking they will know for a fact to never do what they did again because after a while time outs just phase the kid, where as a spanking is something they will never want. oh, and if you do continue to use time out, dont let them just sit in a chair or anything. make them stand up with their nose on the wall, its a much worse time out than just sitting there and it helps dicipline better.

good luck with the kids!

Answer 2

THE REWARD SYSTEM WORKS!!!

Your children are unruly because you don't ENFORCE your rules CONSISTENTLY.
You do not need to touch or yell at your children to get their attention and evoke their obedience.
What your do need to do is use the REWARD SYSTEM, and keep it in force at all times.

Plan their time, get organized, and when they do not comply with your instruction, take away something they like. Do this EVERY time they fuss and fume.
Make it to where when they DO comply with rules, they get their item back again.
When they argue with each other, DIVERSIFY !!!
Change the situation. Take away the item they are argueing about. Make them play apart in separate rooms...that is always a good one. They might be bickering, but they don't want to be separated.
Diversify: When something isn't working, change it !!!
YOU are the parent. You are not their "friend" < forget that.
You get to be their "friend" when they are young adults soon enough.
You are authority. If you insisit they listen to you now, then they will respect authority as teens and adults. This is IMPORTANT.

If I haven't gotten across to you how to do this, get a book about Parental Disipline. Children NEED disipline, and are much happier when they know and recognize their boundaries. It is the child without those things that goes beserk, and feels lost, and gets mean.

You are a parent, and that is a big job...that you have to do DAILY. No time for tears, or complaints, you should be too busy with the task of keeping your childs life in order, so that they will do right and feel good about themselves and their home.

Answer 3

Well that is a moral question...
I was raised with a stern but gentle hand and would not have had it any other way some say that they wish there parents had not spanked them me I can remember every spanking that I got I never got a spanking I didn't deserve. One example my brother and I were fighting and I threw a ball at him missed and broke a window so not only did I get a spanking I had to do all the household chores that was usually divided between the three of us until I earned the money to pay for the window, needless to say I NEVER threw another ball in the house. When we would argue and fight as you describe we were made to sit in the floor in front of our parents and hug each other until we learned our lesson. You will never stop the arguing at least it didn't stop in our house but we learned that if the argument was taken to our parents that we would get it resolved but it wasn't the answer we wanted lol. So we kept it to our selves.
As for time out I feel it does not work but then again it is a moral decision you have to make.
I hope this helps.

Answer 4

For your children, spanking and time outs are both inappropriate for the 12 year old. Try tacking on extra chores, taking away priveledges (tv time, computer time, sleep overs, etc.). Deduct from allowances every time an infraction occurs. Explain that to the 12 yo that they are a role model for the younger, and they need to set a better example. For the 4 year old, spankings as a last resort, time outs, removing priveledges should do the trick. Most importantly, with both of them BE CONSISTANT!

Answer 5

Gentle Discipline
http://www.parentingweb.com/discipline/pw_disc.htm

Answer 6

Well here in USA is forbidden to spank your children but if you want to go to someplace when the government won't rule in the home education, go to Mexico over there parents are allow to spank their kid and the goverment don't tall anything because they know how hard is to deal with children, other thing that you can do is to separate you older kid from the younger enrolling him in to a boarding school.
and the young kid put him in a full time child care in this way you can avoid the responsibility of being a mother because it's look to me that is you main problem.
My mother had 7 kids and none of us had such a awful problems, Concerning to me I had to raise 6 children and i never had to be in grieve they learned from me how to deal with problems.
come on lady" grew up and you will see that you don't have to go to the level of a children because it looks like they rule you and you don't have any power at all.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like your kids have a lot of energy. Give them an outlet for this energy. Take them to the park and let them run around. get the oldest involved in school activities. Arrange play dates for the youngest. do what ever you need to do within the confines of the law to wear them out. it will do wonders to calm them down and you might have some fun yourself.

Answer 8

I say beat them..... You should discipline them because they are old enough to know better.

Answer 9

take away something that they value - they either end up with no toys, etc. or they start to behave.

Answer 10

call nanny 911!!!!!!!! hurry......