Muslim women only please:Does Islam really permit a man to beat his wife?

Question

Just curious

Answer 1

I'm sorry I cannot fulfill the requirement of being Muslim, but I think perhaps I can still be of some help. For even though I am not Muslim, I still believe that we should attempt to understand one another. Love cannot exist without understanding.

Here are some texts that I have found:

Allah Almighty says:
"...And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them..." (2:228)

Another text:
"Feed her as and when you feed yourself; clothe her as and when you clothe yourself; do not beat her on her face; do not abuse (or curse) her and do not separate yourself from her except inside the house." (Ahmed, Abu Da"ûd, Ibn Majah)

"Let no Muslim male entertain any malice against a Muslim female. He may dislike one habit in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing."

"Treat women kindly. Woman has been created from a rib (the rib is crooked) and the most crooked part of the rib is in the upper part. If you try to straighten that rib, it will break, and if you leave it as it is, it will remain curved. So treat women kindly." (Bukhari and Muslim)

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As you can see from these texts, Islam itself does not permit a man to beat his wife. That is not to say that there aren't corrupt political leaders in some Muslim countries, who may allow and enforce laws that are anti-Muslim as well as anti-woman. But the faith itself does not condone violence against women.

For further reading you may go here:
http://www.iad.org/Islam/rspouse.html

here:
http://www.missionislam.com/family/husband.htm

or here:
http://nikah.com/marriage/marital_rights_nikkah.asp

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I looked up Chapter 4, Verse 34, mentioned above. Here it is:

Quran, chapter 4, verse 34:
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them first. Next, refuse to share their beds. And last, beat them, but lightly. If they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, Great (above you all)."

So as you can see, the word beat is mentioned. However, if this is the only mention of beating in Islamic texts, I would hardly call that encouragement to beat a wife. What I *could* see happening (as has happened many times in Christianity as well), is that this verse could be taken out of context. Someone could say "I can beat her. It says right here," without taking into account the first two steps... or the fact that the offense must be serious.

It's comparable to the Bible verse that says "Wives, submit to your husbands." So often, that verse is quoted; yet people leave out the part that comes after that: "And husbands, love your wives as you love the Lord your God." That's powerful stuff.

Answer 2

Well Debra, I believe that HOLLY has said all that is to be said, supporting her words very well.

I truly admire and respect her because despite being a non-Muslim, she did not blurt out an answer with no basis, on the contrary, she did her investigation and based her answer on that referring to non-discriminating sources.
Thank you Holly, I truly wish that many people out there had your mind, conscience, maturity intelligent and goodness. Thank you for caring.

The relationship between a husband and wife is very well described in the Qura’n, which bases this relationship on mercy, respect, harmony, support, advice, protection, peace. Why is all this left out and the focus is on the "beating" which is not the main or the focus on the relationship or the essence of the religion. The prophet Mohamed who is the example for all Muslims never beat a wife.

If you may allow me to go even a little further than the question posted, however related - I have read some very strange comments that Islam doesn't allow women to work, drive, vote etc.

This is not true. Many Muslim women work, drive, vote etc. The Muslim woman goes by her maiden name and not by her husband's, she also has a separate financial identity and the list goes on. I am a Muslim female who is a graduate of the American University in Cairo and I am currently an Assistant Vice President in a Multinational bank in Egypt. I drive car to work, I have voting rights, etc.

Help dont know: You may like to refer to Holly's answer to get more insight on the issue because Holly is supporting her answer with facts and not just "an opinion". Also, you may like to search the web on wife abuse to familiarize yourself with the statistics regarding wife abuse in non-Islamic nations before condemning a religion. Sorry if my words seem harsh.

Answer 3

Sorry! I am not a woman but can't hit one. Can't live with myself afterword. Those were old days when everything was crude & direct & blunt, loud and clear, my way or high way. Marriage and women were not a life term commitment. You dump three get four new ones at next battle. Women were of different mind set at that time too. Things are more sophistacted now. Usually uneducated, uncivilized, non-loving, non-comitted rude and crude men would beat-up a wife. Atleast thats how I see it. There is more information out there for such folks to how to learn to control themselves___ Muslim, Christian or whoever. It should be part of the marital contract now that the man would not hit his wife or vise versa(add not hitting children too, for that mater), many things have changed from old time that were comon then. If law can be changed that " a man cannot mary another without wifes permission" they can change this too. It's still the normal practice in poor and under-developed countries no mater what their religious background is, than developed ones. But no country or religion is safe from this practice. I have heard such cruel stories from all cultures and backgrounds that I like to see this option totally ban due to fear of abuse . I'll say shame on the man who hit his wife.

Answer 4

I am not a woman but as a Muslim I know the answer to your question. Yes, God permits to beat the wife in certain circumstances.
It's not that they are permitted to do than whimsically.
It's mentioned in Quran. You can check.
If you are a Muslim--plz don't commit a sin by giving ignorant answers.Wife-beating, must be the last resort to which the husband turns in punishing his wife, and is, according to the Quran, chapter 4, verse 34, the husband's third step when the wife is rebellious.

First, he must reprimand her, without anger. Next, he must distance her from the conjugal bed. Only if these two methods fail should the husband turn to beating.
I can't judge God's word. If He gave that permission--it's for good.

Answer 5

Dear Lady! Beating to any person without some valid reason, not only a wife, is a bad unjustified behaviour and sometimes illegal in all countries and religions.

But, on the other hand there comes a punishment in the law everywhere on this earth against any crime. So, in Deen-e-Islam there is also a punishment to a wife by her husband in case of some particular circumstances. What are those circumstances where Deen-e-Islam allows a man to beat his wife can be seen in the one n only book from heaven on earth in its original form namely “Quran-e-Pak".

If you find any problem to search in this holy book, you can contact to any Islamic Centre nearest to you where I hope you will find the translation of this holy book in the language which you like to read easily. I am sure that if you know the reality of this fact that why a husband can beat his wife, you will be entirely satisfied. However, it is misused some time by the Muslim husbands due to the lack of education and knowledge and it comes in the jurisdiction of crime.

Perhaps you know or don't know that Deen-e-Islam is a religion of nature which is the best Charter of Human Rights in this world. It also covers the rights of all living and non living things accordingly. Further, Islam has granted very special rights to women which, no religion has provided to her. Those rights are also available in the holy book and I suggest you to compare them with other religions and decide by yourself about the truth.

Nevertheless, if you feel any interest to know the truth of this universe, you will have to study the unique book of heaven Quran-e-Pak where you can find everything which one can think ever in this world.

[e-mail]

Answer 6

You will be surprised what is permitted in islam. The more you read and learn about the life of a muslim, you will know. Muslims may deny it but the facts are all there. It may not make sense to non muslims, but believe me there is a lot more that is allowed in islam than the muslims will admit.

Answer 7

Islam does not allow abuse of women. if you look at the life of the Prophet Salallahu alayhi wa sallam. he never once hit his wife, nor his children.

when people above said it is permissible in certain circumstances, it must be clear that the defination of 'beat' in the translation of the Quran (not the Quran itself, becaus that is only in Arabic) is that you are allowed to slightly hit them in certain circumstances, but you are not allowed to hurt them, or leave a mark or anything. it's more like "i'm warning you, or else there will be a divorce"

it's NOT "im warning you because then i'll hit you really hard".

Like I said, islam does not permit injustice, nor does it permit hurting any women, child , old. or anyone unjustly for that matter.

like someone stated before, the prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said that the best of you are the ones who are best to their wives.

you will also see that of the last few words that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said in his live, was to take care of the women!

how can someone say that women looked down upon in Islam, when even the Prophet's(salallahu alayhi wa sallam) last words were that!

i hope that answered your question and cleared things up a bit.

May Allah guide you(and us all) all to the truth. ameen.

wallahu alem(and Allah knows best)

Answer 8

No, its society. Its easier to let it happen and not to question the male dominate societies of those areas where the religion is most prevalent. It happens behind closed doors and if you get involved then you too are open for ridicule. Unfortunately this happens more than just in the religious minded, it happens all over the world. Even in Christian society it is still a "thing" no one on the outside want to get involved in due to the repercussions that might come back on you.

Answer 9

ok i was born as a muslim, but I changed. I believe that there is a higher authority, but no religion should be there. That is why people are getting killed everyday. Men should NEVER hit or hurt a women Physically. It's not right in anyway to do so no matter who says what! PERIOD

Answer 10

No,only in extreme circumstances and that is lightly, the prophet said: the best of you are those who are best with their wives.
Hope this helps, thank you for asking an insightful question, hope I can be of more help.