give me a really funny joke or riddle?

Answer 1

i just received this joke from a text message..

there is this boyfriend and girlfriend..
bf: "hon, let's do 69!"
gf: "what is 69?"
bf: "it's easy.."

then they positioned theirselves..
while in that position, the boy farted 4 times..

then the girl reacted and said "omg! i cant do this anymore! i cant take anymore the remaining 65!"

lolz..

Answer 2

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out. When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne. The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me." So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed. Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed. The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!" The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

Answer 3

A guy walks past a bar and sees a sign that says, "Make the Horse Laugh Win $100". The guy goes into the back room of the bar and when he comes out, the horse is laughing hysterically, so the bartender gives him $100. The next week, the guy walks past the same bar and sees another sign, ""Make the Horse Cry Win $100". The guy goes into the back room and when he comes out, the horse is crying like a baby. The bartender says, "I'll give you your money, but first tell me how you did it." The guy replies, "well, last week I told him my penis was bigger, and this week I proved it."

Or there's...

What do you call a lesbian from Alaska?
A Klon-dyke

Answer 4

A lady was reading on a bench at the park. When she looked up she saw two men with shovels doing work. The first man would dig a hole and then the second man would immediately fill it up. They did this over and over again. The lady was very curious so she asked"What are you guys doing?"
The first man answered" Normally there are three of us. I would first dig a hole. The other guy would plant a tree, and the guy working with me would fill up the hole. But the third one of us isnt here today, so we're workjng without him."

Answer 5

Everyday this little boy would go into town to do alittle trading, and everyday an old man would sit in his rocker and watch him. One day curioucity got the best of the man, he asked the little boy as he walked past his porch "hey there little boy, what do you have in that jar?" the little boy replied, "i have a horsefly", and the old man said, "and what do you plan on getting for that horse fly?" The little boy said with a proud grin, "a horse". 10 minutes later the little boy walks past him with a horse. The next day the little boy was carrying another jar, the old man asked "hey little boy what do you have today" the boy replied " i have a dragonfly" the old man snorted and said, " and what do you suppose your going to get with that dragon fly? a dragon?" the little boy smiled and said "of course", 10 minutes later the little boy came walking by with a dragon, the old man couldnt believe it. The next day the little boy came walking by with a stick, the old man asked," and what do you think your going to get with that stick little boy" the little boy beamed and said "oh no this is no ordinary stick, its special." and the old man stared at him and said "well what kind of a stick is it?" the little boy looked at him and said "its a pussywillow stick" The old man looked at him and said "will you wait a few minutes while i grab my coat?"

Answer 6

a woman was speeding to work when she got pulled over. the cop said where are you off too in such a hurry? the woman said im late for work. the officer asked what she did for a livin. she said im a rectum strecher. the officer looked puzzled and said how do you do that? she said well you start with one finger then two then your whole hand till there 6 foot. the officer said what do you do with a 6 foot rectum. she replied you give it a radar gun and a badge.

Answer 7

Answer me this: if I give you a riddle you are not able to find an answer, what will you do to that as you dont have an answer,

Answer 8

Pigs and Frogs


Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?

Because everytime she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.

Answer 9

Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the rosy-cheeked youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Timmy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Timmy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Timmy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your freakin' cat!"

Answer 10

Hope u like them!

1. WHAT DID THE MOUSE SAY TO THE OTHER MOUSE: MEET ME AT THE TRAP IT'S GOING DOWN!

2. Your momma is so fat when she fell down i didn't want to laugh but the ground started to crack up.