i think i found the girl of my dreams however her past bothers me (she is a virgin but we are both straight up christian raised so anything past kissing is a huge deal) so i guess im kinda jealous. however other girls i have dated had far worse pasts...but it never bothered me...maybe b/c i knew they werent the one.
so do u guys usually like to know about ur partners(bf/gf) past or would u rather just never know?
2006-06-23 09:14:48 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i would like to know to start out with, and once they tell me i wish i hadnt asked. its a complicated thing...
2006-06-23 09:16:22 · answer #1 · answered by Marines 4 Life 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ummm, being a christian doesnt mean that anything past kissing is a huge deal. Ive been raised christian and still consider myself a faithful follower of christ and I started messing around with girls at the age of 14, and lost my virginity at 17.
I prefer to know my partner's pasts, but Im engaged now so i dont have to worry about that anymore.
2006-06-23 09:17:36 · answer #2 · answered by anonymous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is just that, the PAST. People grow, learn, and change. It's terribly unfair to hold someone's past against them, especially if that is not who they are any more. The only time it is pertinent is if it could put you in danger (do they have a history of violence...is there a chance of STDs). Otherwise, take people at current face value. You may allow yourself to miss out on some REALLY wonderful people as partners and/or friends, simply because of something that has nothing to do with who they are today. Is your past 100% squeaky clean?
2006-06-23 09:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to know the basics. Not the details...You need to make sure that you are not going to be getting any diseases or anything but you don't have any right to judge your girlfriend because you are jealous of the things that she has done with the boys in her past. Leave it were it is, in the PAST!!!! You seem to love her, have a good time and just be happy that you have her!
2006-06-23 09:29:04 · answer #4 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
openness and honesty is the only way to go. a person acts and reacts from how their past unfolded and can affect the future. being jealous of someones past is childish and judging someone from their past is just wrong as we all grow we make mistakes and we try hard to learn from them.
a simple example - say you found a flower that was pretty and you gave it to your girl and when you got there she was upset because that flower reminded her of something bad that happened and every-time she see's this flower it brings all those hurt emotions and she hurts all over again.
we all try to be caring and understanding but often we can't because we never bothered to listen or ask. I think a couple should be open and honest without holding back but also non-judgmental and full of understanding.
2006-06-23 09:26:26 · answer #5 · answered by Savage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you believe she is the ONE for you then you have every right in the world to know about her past... Here's the key thing in a realtionship... Trust & Being Honest with one another... You guys have to trust each other enough so that you both can open up about your past... You should let her know that you would like to know about her past and then let her know about your's... Because if you don't tell each other now before you get married then it will be worse when you found out! So tell each other everything now!
2006-06-23 09:21:53 · answer #6 · answered by Krystle T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand your question. Here you have a girl that is still a virgin ( most girls now a days aren't) and your not happy with that? If both of you are christians then sex before marriage is out the question so respect her and her past and she should do the same for you.
2006-06-23 09:19:14 · answer #7 · answered by anw110784 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to know! Because their past Will have a bearing on your relationship because their experiences will affect how they are with you to an extent. If you know about their past then you have some insight as to why your partner reacts the way they do.
2006-06-23 09:18:29 · answer #8 · answered by greenmountains84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's best not to ask any questions if you're the jealous type. Wait until you're more mature and secure in the relationship to know about these things. She's with you now, so why worry?
2006-06-23 09:20:41 · answer #9 · answered by Fluffy Kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your GF would have to take a call on this one..If you really think that her past is that important go ahead and discuss. But, remember not to quote unquote her on this when you have a fight as this is what will hurt her more. to be on the safer side, I think it is best to have fun at present and plan about the future.
2006-06-23 09:18:45 · answer #10 · answered by Specksy Dimwit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would like to know, cause you learn from past relationships on what to do and not to do in the current one.
2006-06-23 09:16:43 · answer #11 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋