I know I should let it go but I keep thinking about it. I am dating this lady that has 2 kids and course has an ex. I also have to kids and an ex. I trust this woman with all my heart. She is very good to me. The problem is he ex is always calling about something. She can call her kids when he has them and he always needto talkto her about something(dont have to be about the kids. Iknow he is always going to be in our lives b/c of the kids. He has told her that he wants her back and she does tell me these things. Dont dont like to keep anything from me. He will call late hours of the night. He always pulls her to the side the talkto her when I am around. I know he does some of these things to tryand get under my skin. I am trying not to let this stuff bother me but I just cant stop thinging about it all. I really love this woman. We have talked about getting married atthe first of the year. We do live about 1 hour apart fromeach other so we dont get to see eachother all the time.
2006-06-23 08:53:39 · 11 answers · asked by bigdog_0032 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just dont know whyI can stop thinking about it all. I need some advice from someone that has delt with this before...Thank you
2006-06-23 08:54:17 · update #1
I have talked toher about it before and she says there is nothing there. Says she dont listen to him most of the time. She said you justhave to know how he is. Maybe I am looking at it all wrong.
2006-06-23 09:02:04 · update #2
Me and him have met about 5 times and yet to speak a word to each other.
2006-06-23 09:05:27 · update #3
Unless your girlfriend stops the calls, there's nothing you can do. He'll continue the calls and your gonna have to live with it. About pulling her to the side to talk, she has to stop that also. The conversation about the kids is one thing but, anything else is not private, at my opinion.And once again, she has to stop it.
You have quite a problem and you and your girlfriend better get them straight before you marry her or the marriage will not last !!!
2006-06-23 09:04:09 · answer #1 · answered by quiet times 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems like she might just be enjoying this little drama as much as he is. I am in that situation too. I am the woman in your story, except for a few differences. I do not allow my ex to call late, I do not talk about my personal business with him and if he calls when my guy is around I offer to let him speak with the kids and that is it. If there is something that he needs to talk about, I let him know that I do not have a lot of time and I keep chit chat to a minimum. I also say, "I am sorry I can't talk more right now, I have company". My boyfriend comes first, second only to the kids and my ex's feelings are the least of my concerns. If you are not getting the same respect then I feel there is a problem
2006-06-23 18:15:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say from my own expeirence but from what I have seen others go through... this arrangement is a hard one. B/c when you thing about it, they were first and you were second and that's the way it's always going to be. He's always going to be there and from the looks of it he's wanting even more. I think the best way for you to deal with this situation if you want it to work is to move far away!!! Far from him, and tell he that he should only talk to the children and not her so much since he still has feelings and her talking to him could send him mix messages. This is tough, so I hope this helps!
2006-06-23 16:01:16 · answer #3 · answered by SiLLy-mE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married a woman with two kis, but I had no kids and never married. Her ex bolted when I came along and hasn't heard from him in over 20 years.
Just watch out when it comes to blended families. They can be pure HELL.
2006-06-23 15:59:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has already got under your skin. Do not talk to him about it ,talk to her and let her talk to him. Yes he will always be there, the kids, however she must not encourage him to call late at nights, pull her aside when you are there etc...
2006-06-23 16:03:05 · answer #5 · answered by batista 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm right there with you, goin thru the same b.s.,just don't let him come in between you 2, plus there is no reason they need to speak with each other unless it is about the kids,that's what i had to tell me ladie cuz her ex was pullin the same crap your talkin about.its hard, that ain't no lie,but if you love her then its worth it no matter what he does,as long as she loves you,good luck.
2006-06-23 16:06:42 · answer #6 · answered by nate diggitty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do to stop it. Your wife has to put up with it for the sake of her kids. Just keep your feelings to yourself and support her, instead of giving her more angst by having to hear how it bothers you.
2006-06-23 16:25:15 · answer #7 · answered by Ponderous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she hates him being that way, and always talking to her, then you have nothing to worry about. If she likes it, and approves of it, then slow down. He is ALWAYS going to be in her life to some extent. Don't go too far too fast. Better safe, than sorry!
2006-06-23 16:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you gotta tell her its him or you! Set boundaries that you are comfortable with and tell her. If your ex kept pulling you to the side your gf would do the same!
2006-06-23 15:59:24 · answer #9 · answered by dude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it's bothering you so much you should talk to her. I'm sure she will listen and assure you that everything is okay. good luck!
2006-06-23 15:58:07 · answer #10 · answered by stargirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋