My mother in law loves her son and hates me!!! She even has a restraining order against me. I try to stay away and ignore her but I always hear she is accusing me of doing things (like stopping her mail) that I have never done!!! I would love to sit and resolve this with her but that is out of the questions and truely the only people I care about is my husband and children whom I know this will effect. Any advise???
2006-06-23 08:44:05 · 19 answers · asked by liyah's mommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Remember you didn't marry her you married her son and your husband should be man enough to tell her to accept you or just leave you both alone . Shes Only Treating You That Way Because She Jealous That You Are Number 1.
2006-06-23 08:51:47 · answer #1 · answered by sarah R 1 · 7⤊ 2⤋
Lots of good advise and I had similar problem with my wife's mother. Tried the kindness and it always backfired.
What worked best was when I saw her on visits, I would bring a book to read and be nice in that I said hello but begged off conversation because I had to read this book for work or something to that affect. When I wasn't around her, I would ignore questions that usually lead to disagreements by changing the subject quite quickly.
When she would visit, I would suddenly get called to work but always made nice with her. Just really ignored her. When she would accuse me of something to someone and it would get back to me, I would just ignore the comments from people with a comment like "Oh really --- must be a mistake" and then change the subject.
When she found out that she couldn't rile me or put me in a bad mood, she stopped and we sort of get along now. But she made the first step to the peace treaty.
2006-06-23 09:28:12 · answer #2 · answered by sandyf79705 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... makes me want to give my mother-in-law a big hug. She's crazy too, but that's just... wow.
I have to agree with the people telling you to get your husband involved in this ~ but I do not think you should retaliate in any way. She's being overly-emotional and completely irrational, and for the sake of your family you should keep yourself above that. Your husband needs to sit down with her (and possibly a therapist or counselor) and find out what really is the cause of this behavior. It is normal for mothers to respond this way, and it's usually just because they love their sons. Always remember that you have that in common. If she loves your husband as much as you do she can't be all bad.
2006-06-23 09:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by browneyedgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm reapeating what others are saying, LEAVE IT ALONE. She is CLEARLY irratonal and you can't make someone rational.
Ignore it as much as possible and don't try and talk to her. just let her create her own irrational world. Keep your children away as much as possible.
Gosh, i just answered a quesiton like this a few minutes ago and wish i had copied it. Mothers often do this with their sons. Mothers dont bond the same with boys as they do girls so all of a sudden, when the boy grows up, they see their son showing emotions that they themsleves have never seen. It can cause them to feel inadequate and all sorts of things. That's their issue to deal with, not yours. let her work out her own problems.
2006-06-23 09:08:48 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Phil-lys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! And I thought I had it bad, Honey you got a problem.
You are going to have to totally get her out of your life.
* When Hubby or the kids are talking to her on the phone, leave the room, quickly.
* Go to the mall, or just make sure you are out of the house if she comes over. (She should always make an appt. with your family, if she is going to do this.)
You two obviously have problems! Is your Husband supportive of you? He better be, because you are supposed to now be #1 now that you are married. It is even quoted in the Bible:Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
2006-06-23 08:58:55 · answer #5 · answered by Maggie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her. Don't let your kids see her. If he asks why, give him a detailed list (keep a written one, with dates so he doesn't think you are making it up on the spot) of the reasons why.
If she's talking about you behind your back, then smile and consider the source. Don't let her bring you down.
Also, tell your husband he needs to be a man and discuss it with her. If it's going to affect him and your kids, he needs to step up to the plate.
2006-06-23 09:27:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through that situation but worse!!!! the only thing you can do is talk to your husband and he has to put his foot down and tell his mother that if she can't get along with you the woman he loves then he has to break all ties with her.... My mother had a little problem with my sisterinlaw and my brother told all of us straight up that if we couldn't respect his wife then we wasnt respecting him and he would break all ties with us .... Good Luck
2006-06-23 08:50:23 · answer #7 · answered by babygirl29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with your husband and explain everything to him in detail. He probably is only hearing her side including the lies.
2006-06-23 08:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by older woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, it's really up to your husband to resolve this problem. It's his mother and she's trying to cause problems between you. She wants her little boy back. He needs to speak up ans set her straight. His first loyalty is to you, not his mother.
2006-06-23 08:48:42 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your husband say about all of this??? I would sit HIM down and talk to him about how her actions are affecting you. He needs to step in and deal with his crazy mother.
2006-06-23 08:49:23 · answer #10 · answered by tequila_girl98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋