A little joke for a dull Friday afternoon:?

Question

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly
his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one
easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air
then opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed
head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place and, as
the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down
from the clouds.

"I thought you didn't believe in Me!"

"Come on God, give me a break!," the man pleaded. "Two
minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"

Answer 1

That's really funny.

Answer 2

This is proof that a christian will believe in anything. There is no Lock Ness monster. But say I play along. Well as god talked with the atheist, he turned his attention away from all else. At that moment, a good christian was hit by a car, and a church was blown up by a suicide bomber, as a baby was being baptized. God could have stopped these events, but that petty child you call lord was toying with someone else. I guess that means he likes the atheists more.... oh wait, I thought gods voice would kill a human, and that it was too much for man. Well you may not have taking this into account before, so be a good little christian, go get your bible, and read it in your closet where you are safe from facts and intelligence.

Answer 3

More Laughs

True Quotes

"It often happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope." --Pope John XXIII

"God knew from all eternity that I would be Pope. He had 80 years to work on me. Don't you think He could have made me a little more photogenic?" --Pope John XXIII

Answer 4

fear no man or god is orphans motto.

cause GOD JEHOVAH must keep his word and also all his heirs.

so god who is first in heaven as god=7154=17=8=h is the god who really put a 1000 year seal on satan. And M=1000 yes also M=IVI stitched together.

and all souls said to belong to god or satan? funny that he only earns 679 can dollars a month? And they appear to have failed the TOP PROSPECT. So basically they can kiss my *** in addition to pervertly watching it in my washroom, hope your kids enjoyed the free sex show. hurry up and die.

Answer 5

That is the funniest thing I've heard today. Ever hear the one about how the priest got A.I.D.S.? He forgot to clean his organ between each him.

Answer 6

Lmao, Thank you, eternally for this little piece of joy.
Peace.

Answer 7

i think that's hilarious, but that might offend some people, I'd be careful about religion and thing that people are that sensitive about.

Answer 8

nice one, made me laugh after a bad day, keep the jokes coming!!!!

Answer 9

Here's another... and me be'n somewhat a Baptist...ohhh shame on me

The Good Samaritan




I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, “Stop! Don’t do it!”

“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.

I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for.”

“Like what?” he said.

I said, “Well, are you religious or atheist?”

He said, “Religious.”


I said, “Me too! Are you Christian, Buddhist or Muslim?”

“Christian”

“Me too!” I said “Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

“Protestant”

I said, “Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”

He said, “Baptist”

“Wow, me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?”

He said, “Baptist Church of God”

I said, “Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or Reformed Baptist Church of God?”

“Reformed Baptist Church of God!”

I said, “Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1889, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?”

He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915.”

I said, “Die heretic scum!” and pushed him off

- Emo Phillips

Answer 10

Still don't believe in god...